Editor's Note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." My first encounter with counseling was when I was a “troubled” teenager. I've seen several counselors since then for various reasons. At no time was I completely honest or truthful and certain issues were “addressed,” but they were never “managed.” This was mainly due to my own shame in admitting that I had issues at all, but also due to the chosen counselors merely hearing words out of my mouth and nodding, writing, and asking, “Well, how do you feel about that?” Personally, I felt that they each should have been able to see through my fears and pinpoint where I needed to start. But, counselor …
Lovefraud Lesson #4 – Sensationalism and sociopaths
In the latest video of the Lovefraud Lessons series, Donna Andersen explains that what you learn about sociopaths on television is, at best, incomplete, and at worst, dangerous. Watch it here: Videos …
Lovefraud Lesson #4 – Sensationalism and sociopathsRead More
UK law enables people to learn if their new partners are violent
It's called "Clare's Law," named for a woman who was murdered by her boyfriend, a man that she met on Facebook. Both men and woman in the UK will be able to ask police if their new intimate partners have a history of domestic violence. Read: Women will get right to ask for new boyfriends' police files under controversial Clare's Law initiative, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
UK law enables people to learn if their new partners are violentRead More
Me-Muscles… It’s All About The Questions
I've had an extraordinarily busy and amazing week working with a fantastic group — which is why I simply didn't have the time to post anything last week. My apologies. The workshop sessions were intensive, running through from early morning to late evening, and yes, it's tiring work — both for me as well as for the delegates and, of course, my training team. But goodness me it's worth it. How do I know? The room filled with smiling faces tells me so, and it makes me feel glad. So this week I've decided to share some of the techniques we were exploring over the course of the workshops — because there are many that, in my experience, also apply to dealing with the sociopaths among us. The f …
“Personality disorder” as an excuse for criminal behavior
One of the good things about the conviction of Jerry Sandusky on almost all counts related to molesting 10 boys was that his lame personality disorder defense did not fly. Histrionic personality disorder? Huh? That was the prevailing reaction when defense attorneys claimed that the former Penn State assistant football coach wrote those "creepy" letters because he suffers from histrionic personality disorder. Read the creepy letters Several experts in personality disorders were quoted in news reports stating that even if Sandusky does have histrionic personality disorder, it would not be an excuse for the molestation. Why not? It's quite simple: Most people with personality …
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Sociopaths as aliens
Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like …
With the Penn State report, a public understanding of unbelievable betrayal
Yesterday, Louis Freeh, former director of the FBI, released the report of his investigation into the Penn State scandal. Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach under the legendary Joe Paterno, was convicted last month of 45 charges related to his abuse of young boys, and Freeh was retained by the university's board of trustees to find out exactly what happened and why. Freeh's report is scathing. The front page of this morning's Philadelphia Inquirer proclaimed in the largest headline typeface I've ever seen: DAMNING JUDGMENT Under the headline were the photos of the four Pennsylvania State University officials who the report says enabled, through their inaction, Jerry …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I provided her a road map to my life
Editor's Note: The following post was written by a Lovefraud reader who comments as RobertinSeattle. Boy, I've started and re-started this post several times. Each time, a new idea or thought comes up that changes what I want to convey in my first open post about a recent breakup that started from a popular online dating site late last year. But let me start off with some general observations: I've noted on many websites and blogs that sociopaths make up anywhere from 1% - 4% of our society. And that male sociopaths outnumber females by as many as 8-to-1. While I might agree with those percentages in general, from my personal experience and research, I'd argue and debate those numbers …
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Red Flags of Love Fraud featured in Courier Post newspaper
The Camden Courier-Post, located in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just published an article entitled, How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles. Both the online and print versions feature really big photos of my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud. The article also includes tips from the Israeli self-defense system. So, if you miss the signs you're dating a sociopath early on, perhaps it's good to know how to react to physical violence. Read: How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles on CourierPostOnline.com. …
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Warning others: a moral obligation or crossing the line?
This is an age old problem that seems to lack an easy answer. Do we warn others if we recognize that they are involved with individuals with psychopathic features? Is doing so a moral obligation or is it crossing the line? Back in the day, it was easier. Sure, we saw our friends dating people we didn't like or who made us uncomfortable, but we probably just thought of these individuals as "jerks." We surmised that the relationships wouldn't last and left it at that. Even if they did endure, expressing negative opinions on such matters tended to be taboo. As a result, typically, we said nothing. Now, however, society is beginning to acknowledge and discuss psychopathy more readi …
Warning others: a moral obligation or crossing the line?Read More