2012 | Page 16 of 30 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

“Personality disorder” as an excuse for criminal behavior

July 17, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 46 Comments

One of the good things about the conviction of Jerry Sandusky on almost all counts related to molesting 10 boys was that his lame personality disorder defense did not fly. Histrionic personality disorder? Huh? That was the prevailing reaction when defense attorneys claimed that the former Penn State assistant football coach wrote those "creepy" letters because he suffers from histrionic personality disorder. Read the creepy letters Several experts in personality disorders were quoted in news reports stating that even if Sandusky does have histrionic personality disorder, it would not be an excuse for the molestation. Why not? It's quite simple: Most people with personality …

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Sociopaths as aliens

July 16, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 69 Comments

Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like …

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With the Penn State report, a public understanding of unbelievable betrayal

July 13, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 35 Comments

Yesterday, Louis Freeh, former director of the FBI, released the report of his investigation into the Penn State scandal. Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach under the legendary Joe Paterno, was convicted last month of 45 charges related to his abuse of young boys, and Freeh was retained by the university's board of trustees to find out exactly what happened and why. Freeh's report is scathing. The front page of this morning's Philadelphia Inquirer proclaimed in the largest headline typeface I've ever seen: DAMNING JUDGMENT Under the headline were the photos of the four Pennsylvania State University officials who the report says enabled, through their inaction, Jerry …

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Red Flags of Love Fraud featured in Courier Post newspaper

July 12, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

The Camden Courier-Post, located in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just published an article entitled, How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles. Both the online and print versions feature really big photos of my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud. The article also includes tips from the Israeli self-defense system. So, if you miss the signs you're dating a sociopath early on, perhaps it's good to know how to react to physical violence. Read: How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles on CourierPostOnline.com. …

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Warning others: a moral obligation or crossing the line?

July 12, 2012 // by Linda Hartoonian Almas// 115 Comments

This is an age old problem that seems to lack an easy answer. Do we warn others if we recognize that they are involved with individuals with psychopathic features? Is doing so a moral obligation or is it crossing the line? Back in the day, it was easier. Sure, we saw our friends dating people we didn't like or who made us uncomfortable, but we probably just thought of these individuals as "jerks." We surmised that the relationships wouldn't last and left it at that. Even if they did endure, expressing negative opinions on such matters tended to be taboo. As a result, typically, we said nothing. Now, however, society is beginning to acknowledge and discuss psychopathy more readi …

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Lovefraud Lessons: Videos to help you escape sociopaths

July 10, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 39 Comments

Today Lovefraud introduces a new feature: Lovefraud Lessons, a series of videos to teach you how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. Lovefraud Blog videos Lessons #1, #2 and #3 are up now, and new videos will be posted every week. The primary venue, of course, is YouTube, on the Lovefraud Lessons channel. My goal is to reach as many people as possible, around the world, and teach them about sociopaths. If you know someone who should watch the videos, forward a link! …

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The sociopathic betrayal as an incident in your life

July 9, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 293 Comments

Many Lovefraud readers experience the phenomenon of "losing yourself" in the sociopathic relationship. Before meeting the sociopath, you may have been, for the most part, happy, confident, successful and financially stable. You had a network of people who cared about you. Yes, there was some kind of vulnerability—perhaps you were a bit lonely—and the sociopath used the vulnerability to infiltrate your life. But, for the most part, you were okay. Then, either suddenly or slowly, your life disintegrated, and the problems you face are so immense, and so interconnected, and so overwhelming, that you don't know where to begin unraveling them. You don't have the energy to start. Rather than the …

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Vicious bullying leads to suicide in Japan

July 8, 2012 // by Donna Andersen// 26 Comments

This may be the most flagrant and egregious case of school bullying ever—and teachers laughed. Read: Kids and laughing teachers bullied suicide teen, on ABCNews.go.com. More bullying stories: Downtown Miami charter school sexual abuse and bullying led boy to attempt suicide twice: Lawsuit, on HuffingtonPost.com. Teacher accused of raping 12-year-old boy, on AOL.com. Links provided by Lovefraud readers. …

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Healing from a psychopathic experience is a continuing process

July 6, 2012 // by Joyce Alexander// 134 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Years ago I used to think that healing from an emotionally devastating experience, like tangling with a psychopath, was like recovering from a physical illness or injury. If you cut yourself, you put a band-aid on it and a few days later, the cut was "healed" and you didn't need to work on it any more. Or if you got the flu, once you were over it, it was all done; you didn't have to worry about it again. Or if you got the measles once, you could not get it ever again, because you were immune. Now I realize that healing from an encounter with a psychopath is not like a simple cut that heals, never requiring any more care or even notice. It is also not …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I feel stupid that I was blind

July 5, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 35 Comments

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Roger." I am writing this from Tokyo, Japan and would like to tell you about my experience with a person that "conned" me. Last year I experienced having a very short relationship with a lady that fits the description of being a sociopath: has no heart, no conscience and no remorse. In addition, now I know that she thought nothing of lying, cheating and stealing my money! I met this lady, who is a full-time lecturer at a university here in Tokyo (as am I) at a dinner party in June last year. It was arranged by a person whom I know (and trusted) and his wife, and they were trying play "Cupid." He, too, is a …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”