By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) It's recently been pretty trying around our little “hole in the woods.” A dog we loved dearly “disappeared” out of the yard, and we've been able to find neither “hide nor hair” of him, dead or alive. Not knowing what happened to him is sort of disturbing, but we are dealing with the thought that he got close to the road and someone picked him up, or that the plentiful packs of coyotes that circle our yard got him. He was brave enough (and dumb enough) to attack them if they came into his territory. Whatever happened to him, he is gone, and at this point not likely to return. His silly little ways are greatly missed, even by the other animals in the house. …
Are clinical “continuums” silly?
The narcissistic continuum? The psychopathic continuum? The sociopath explained as being someone located at the apex of the narcissistic continuum? Are clinical continuums silly? Maybe they are. How “nice” are you? Well, maybe you're somewhere on a continuum of “niceness.” At the apex, you are a super-nice individual; in the middle, sometimes very nice, sometimes less so; at the nadir, you are just an incredibly “un-nice” (or “mean”) person. Hmmm. Wow. Somehow this doesn't seem like a newsflash. How sloppy are you? Well, couldn't Robert Hare have developed clinically a “sloppiness” (versus a psychopathic) measure that places all of us somewhere on a “sloppiness” continuum. Wit …
12 steps of recovery from love fraud
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader called “Adelade.” Her previous posts are "When life ain't fair" and “This is the time for me to learn who I am.” Having grown up in a dysfunctional alcoholic environment, I spent just about 35 years involved in one “program” or another, and I was able to strongly identify with my “inner child” after one particularly grueling session with my counseling therapist. I could clearly see how my emotional development had been abruptly arrested during my childhood, and that I had developed into an adult whose every decision and action had been based upon the need for acceptance, validation, appreciation, and approval. Fear of “dys …
A Book Is Born
This week it's a change of subject and a shorter post, because this week I am absolutely delighted to announce that my book “I'm Still Standing” will be published by Mainstream/Random House on 5th July! These are incredibly exciting times, and I am bursting with pride and anticipation that my story is being told. It's a bit nerve-wracking as well, I must say, as I feel somewhat vulnerable putting my ”˜whole self' out there to the world. It's been a fascinating process getting to this stage, and I'm surprised by the number of times I've already been asked the question “How long did it take you to write?” Well, the simple response to that is over four decades. Yes, it's taken a lifetime for …
BOOK REVIEW: The Seducer
The Seducer, by Claudia Moscovici, is a novel about a psychopath. But it's not a Hollywood-style psychopath who stalks unsuspecting strangers to commit ritual murder. This story is much closer to reality—the reality that many of us were horrified to discover. The author, Moscovici, knows of what she writes, because she lived through her own nightmare with a psychopath. Because of her experience, she created the Psychopathy Awareness blog, to help people learn about these human predators. Her thorough understanding of this disordered personality is apparent in the book. The Seducer tells a compelling story of how the psychopaths who live among us pursue their agendas, and how their u …
Yet another military fake
Brian Khan of Harrisburg claimed to be a Marine who served in Afghanistan. He had everyone fooled, including a documentary filmmaker and his own kids. Read Harrisburg man who faked being a Marine even fooled his family, brother says, on PennLive.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Domestic violence and the high-risk personality disorders
Certain personality types are at high risk of perpetrating domestic violence. I want to emphasize physical domestic violence here. As in my last article, the borderline, narcissistic and sociopathic personalities lead the risk pack here. Let's look first at the borderline personality. The borderline personality is a powder-keg of rage prone to detonate at any experience of a perceived wound, insult, threat of abandonment or (as a less appreciated match to their rage), threat to their malignant pride. Sound pretty narcissistic? Welcome to the synergy between these two personality types. The borderline personality, much like many narcissists, is littered with “rage mines” that can “tr …
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Taking back our power
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Each one of us has more power than we generally perceive we do. Some people, in fact, do not recognize that they have any power over either what happens to them, or to how they react to what happens to them. Yet, we are totally powerful people; we have total power over what goes on inside us. Recognizing that I am a powerful person with ultimate control over my emotions and actions is a heady feeling, and a scary feeling too. It is heady because it gives us a feeling that we can control ourselves, but it is scary because we also realize that there is no one else who can save us if we fail to exercise that power fully or competently. When we were …
Malingering and psychopathy: a likely connection
By: Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed There may be a correlation between psychopathy and malingering. Some studies support that increased PCL-R (psychopathy checklist) scores correspond with an increased potential for malingering, while others are less conclusive. Regardless, if psychopathic individuals, or those with such features, seek to gain or avoid something through manipulations, they are good at bringing their intentions to fruition. What is malingering? Malingering is defined as intentionally making up or exaggerating medical or mental symptoms in an attempt to avoid one or a variety of responsibilities. It is an intentional misrepresentation of facts in an effort to app …
Singing about sociopaths
One of Lovefraud's readers is Joshua Noel Tanner, a young man who is a singer-songwriter. He has personal experience with sociopaths, and has written a song called Old Father Incubus based on his experiences. I found the song to be creative, haunting and accurate. Caution: It includes narration that some readers may find to be triggering. You can buy the song, and listen to the rest of Joshua's album, on his band website. Joshua Noel Tanner band Or, you can listen to it on YouTube. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/h4hU0U4v1_Y] …