How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Prison gives sociopaths an opportunity to plot and scheme

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Many of us have been involved with sociopaths who committed crimes, ranging from fraud to drug distribution to murder. Many times we report their activities to law enforcement, and the authorities do nothing. (That's what I experienced.) Or, the case is prosecuted and the criminal gets off. We are left with nothing but our frustration. If the offense is serious enough, however, the sociopaths may be prosecuted and sent to prison. We rejoice. But throwing the bums in jail may be a mixed blessing. Yes, they're off the street, and we can sort of rest easy—temporarily. But while the offenders are locked up, they have guaranteed food, shelter and medical care. Some have access to libraries and …

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Love Fraud in the sick and twisted legal system, and the new law that may protect you

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By Dr. Karin Huffer, Marriage and Family Therapist Jan and I sat in our first of what was to be many sessions dealing with her victimization from love fraud, followed by a twisted legal path in her pursuit of justice. She sobbed, holding crumpled papers in her hands revealing stabbing deceit. Her husband had blown the money she provided to pay bills and now her credit was damaged, bills were not paid, and the money was gone. She now suffers in isolation. Her friends are weary of the story, and she is tired of “I told you so” and “I thought something was wrong with him.” Shame digs deep into her heart and soul. How could she have been such a fool and now be so hurt and helpless? So famil …

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Notre Dame’s fake dead girlfriend, and real dead girl

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A Calimornia man suspected of being behind the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend hoax apparently may have pulled the "Catfishing" scam on multiple people. Report: Ronaiah Tuiasosopo confessed Te'o hoax to friend, on USAToday.com. In the meantime, back in 2010, Lizzy Seeberg, then a 19-year-old college freshman, accused a Notre Dame football player of sexually assaulting her. She filed a report with campus police. They did nothing. A few days later, Lizzy Seeberg committed suicide. Notre Dame still did nothing. Brennan: Notre Dame forgets the woman who really died, on USAToday.com. …

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The Red Flags of a Scammer

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Tonight on the news I heard where a local Arkansas non-profit had been scammed for over $100,000 by an employee. It is not uncommon in today's news to hear such things. I recently came into contact with someone involved with a non-profit group that I will call “ABC.org” because I do not believe the management of this group was in any way involved with what I think is the dishonesty of one of its employees. Here's how I became involved with this group's Texas representative. In the effort to get support for my protest of my son William Patrick Alexander's parole release, I decided to contact every “murder victim's support” group in Texas or nationa …

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Notre Dame football star and dead girlfriend hoax

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Television news was ablaze this morning with the story that Manti Te'O, star linebacker for the Notre Dame football team, had been duped by an online relationship with a woman who did not exist. Some commentators are saying that Te'O was in on the hoax. I do not know whether Te'O was a participant in the hoax, or whether he was a deceived victim. I do know that both scenarios are possible. Some online predators toy with people's emotions, apparently for the fun of it. Several Lovefraud readers have been snagged by such predators, believed they were in a relationship, and had their hearts broken when their online "partners" died—only to find out that the whole thing was a ruse. This ce …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Solutions to our pain

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Editor's note: The following article is by the Lovefraud reader NewLife43. RE: The Love Fraud article Back in Control of the Panic Buttons by “Adelade,” posted January 13, 2013. This article rang so true for me. In fact, this one triggered the most physical reaction that I've had in a long time. Not just crying, I was literally feeling panic and upset in my gut, my chest, my shoulders. I was such a mess I felt myself losing my grip on reality! So much of what she wrote about the money situations and the birthday/holiday things in her life rang like the loud bongs of church bells inside my head. The noise was deafening! It brought back all those feelings of "being pushed and rushed in …

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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Mary Ann Glynn

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First in a series of Q&A articles with members of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. Mary Ann Glynn is a licensed clinical social worker based in Bernardsville, New Jersey. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. In my professional experience, sociopaths and disordered personalities are usually brought into therapy by a significant other, or by the court system for domestic violence or other charges. Since they are incapable of insight or empathy, they may engage initially in therapy to get validation or support, blame their partner, and/or show what they are willing to do for the r …

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BOOK REVIEW: Kevin Dutton’s “Wisdom of Psychopaths” is a disservice to society

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Kevin Dutton, Ph.D., is a fabulous writer. Unfortunately, in his new book, The Wisdom of Psychopaths—What saints, spies, and serial killers can teach us about success, he uses his prodigious skill with words to promote a fundamentally flawed thesis. What is the thesis? That psychopathy, "in small doses," is good for us. Here's what Dutton writes in the preface of the book: Psychopathy can also be good for us, at least in moderation. Like anxiety, depression, and quite a few other psychological disorders, it can at times be adaptive. Psychopaths, as we shall discover, have a variety of attributes—personal magnetism and a genius for disguise being just the starter pack—which, once you know how …

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Back in control of the panic buttons

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Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." Without going into a long, drawn-out recollection of my experiences with sociopaths, I wanted to talk about my “Panic Buttons.” The panic buttons are the same as “triggers,” but I tend to panic, so I see them as “panic buttons.” There is a host of priceless discussion on this site about triggering. I'm one of those types that not only triggers, but I typically fall down a vortex of panic that starts out on the edge of the whirlwind, and I spiral downwards, and inwards, until I'm so disoriented that I don't know how to get out. The “reason” that I tend to panic is because of my past experiences with soci …

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No matter how much you know, sometimes you just fall apart anyway

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I've recognized that my son is a psychopath since 2006, and have cut contact with him. Unfortunately, he has not forgotten me, and sent one of his friends to kill me, and probably intended to, one by one, kill the rest of the family, so he could have everything we collectively own. Every so often Patrick comes up for parole. I have been working with an attorney who “gets it” about psychopaths, and with others, to protest his parole. I have had wonderful support here from the Lovefraud community, many of whom have sent letters to my attorney in support of my parole protest. Many family members and friends have written some wonderful letters as well. Som …

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