February 2014 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he abandons

February 27, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 12 Comments

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader from Italy whom we'll call "Alessia." It all started a year and a half ago when I went through a huge crisis with my life that led me to make a decision to simply leave everything and go out of my country (Italy) on a long luxury vacation of four months. Knowing my destination from a past visit, and based on past decision to make this destination my second home, part of my plan was to buy a house on the beach in this four-month period. Arriving to my destination I didn't waste a second. I made a contact to real estate agency and asked to view some houses. Searching for real estate They sent me a 70+ year old real estate …

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Co-Parenting With a Sociopath: Helping My Children Navigate Through the Lies

February 26, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 8 Comments

by Quinn Pierce A Confused and Anxious Child My younger son recently returned home from his father's house looking visibly distressed and anxious. As we began asking what was wrong, the ever increasing list of possibilities began running through my mind. I could tell these visits were taking a toll on my son, but he is not yet at the point where he can stand up for himself to his father. My older son, however, mastered that skill earlier this year, and it has been a source of contention for my ex-husband ever since. And so, when my son started to explain what transpired the night before, it was no surprise to the rest of us as we listened. Apparently, someone asked a seemingly in …

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An interview with a Psychopath

February 25, 2014 // by Tracy Andersen// 19 Comments

Editor's Note: WARNING! The beginning of the video may be difficult to watch, but the end explains a psychopath's view on getting what he wants. This is a clip from a video created and narrated by Dr. Anna Salter entitled Truth, Lies and Sex Offenders that looks at the deceptive nature of sex offenders. In this video, Salter interviews a psychopath whose description of his manipulating and lying behavior puts him in the category of a power and control rapist. "I made this film in the hope that the next victim won't report, six or seven times as Gerold's victim did, and still not be believed," says Salter. "We have no hope of detecting and stopping this kind of sadistic behavior if we d …

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Contrary to claims, the PBS Sherlock Holmes is not a ‘high functioning sociopath’

February 24, 2014 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

Along with the hit show Downton Abbey, PBS has recently run the series Sherlock. In this remake of the classic detective story, the gifted private investigator is working today, solving the most difficult and puzzling crimes. In a recent episode, Sherlock's sidekick, Dr. John Watson, a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, is getting married. He asks Sherlock Holmes to be his best man. The big day arrives, and Sherlock must use his extraordinary powers of deduction to prevent a murder right at the wedding reception. Here is more information about the show, including an episode preview: Sherlock: Season 3, Episode 2 The Sign of Three High-functioning sociopath? Early in the episode, …

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Research finds link between internet trolls and personality disorders

February 22, 2014 // by Tracy Andersen// Leave a Comment

Erin Buckels of the University of Manitoba and two colleagues conducted research to find out whether people who engage in internet trolling are characterized by personality traits that fall in the so-called Dark Tetrad: Machiavellianism willingness to manipulate and deceive others Narcissism egotism and self-obsession Psychopathy the lack of remorse and empathy Sadism pleasure in the suffering of others The researchers conducted multiple studies, using a variety of methods and found that, although there were correlations between trolls and each of the Dark Tetrad, the relationship between sadism and trolling was the strongest. Indeed, sadists appear to troll because it gives them …

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A sociopath asks, ‘Why should we change?’

February 21, 2014 // by Donna Andersen// 82 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received this email in response to a previous article written by a self-proclaimed sociopath. I've read the article titled A sociopath claims, ”˜We are the uniquely gifted,' and most of replies to it. First of all I'd like to make clear that the author of that letter is narcisisstic and quite delusional as he thinks himself some kind of superhuman. But apart from that, most of the things he said are true. Wouldn't you use the so called 'gift' of manipulation if it ensured you got what you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable? After all, it is you who let us manipulate you. From replies you can clearly see that people are afraid and that's th …

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Is “No Contact” the Antidote to Mother Nature?

February 20, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 6 Comments

Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had our "ah-hah" moment and could simply turn off the faucet on our feelings? Unfortunately, the chemistry in our brains won't let us do so. And, instead, we rehash all the upsetting moments thinking about what we “coulda,” “woulda, “ “shoulda,” done. I know I wasted years thinking about how I could change his opinions and g …

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Divorcing a Sociopath: Redefining Possessions

February 19, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 14 Comments

by Quinn Pierce What's Yours Is Mine... When teaching preschoolers, it can be very entertaining to watch the children interact according to the inherent set of rules set forth by this age group. This list of rules may be long, but the rules themselves are very simple: If it's mine, it's mine If it's yours, it's mine If I like it, it's mine If I think it's mine, it's mine If I can take it from you, it's mine If it's broken, it's your fault”¦and so on. Everything Is His Possession Interestingly, this is the same set of rules that my ex-husband applied to our divorce. It became very clear that he considered every object in his life a possession, including people, and he was enti …

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All sociopaths lie

February 17, 2014 // by Donna Andersen// 68 Comments

Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, led a double life. He worked at the Federal Aviation Administration Technical Center, which required a security clearance. He had a wife, the result of an arranged marriage in his native India. But for the past three weeks, Patel has been on trial, charged with sexually assaulting, or attempting to sexually assault, seven women in Atlantic City during the summer of 2012. Some of the women were working as prostitutes. During the trial, Patel admitted that he was addicted to prostitutes, but he denied assaulting the women. Here's some of the news coverage: Accused rapist tells jury he's paid 200 prostitutes for sex, not rape, on …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: What I learned after being targeted by a female psychopath

February 16, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 28 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was sent in by a reader whom we'll call Aaron. This is part personal narrative and part informed amateur psychology suggestion. I am writing this because of my own traumatic experience and the need I believe for men to know what they may be dealing with. As most discussion and research involves male psychopaths there has only been recent dialogue on the female version. The most well-known writings on psychopathy have involved male prison populations, most notably by leading expert Dr. Robert Hare, and the notoriety of serial killers (Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and others) and have not touched on those in the general population and specifically female …

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Donna Andersen on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “Hi Samson75 – My paper was peer-reviewed and published in the International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology. There’s…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “HI Samson, from what I read of Donna’s article, she had more than 2,000 Lovferaud readers as a valid sample.…”
samson75 on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “love fraud subscribers are not really a valid sample as they represent people who either have had trouble dealing with…”
Donna Andersen on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “Thank you for your thoughtful comment.”
samson75 on The relationship between sociopathy/psychopathy and bipolar disorder: “The majority of studies show that bipolar and psychopathy can be comorbid, though it is rare. What people likely see…”