How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Overcoming the insanity of co-parenting with an exploiter

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Book Review: Divorcing a Narcissist One Mom's Battle, by Tina Swithin "The only thing more difficult than being married to a narcissist is divorcing a narcissist." This is one of the first sentences that Tina Swithin writes in her book, Divorcing a Narcissist One Mom's Battle. It's a sentiment I've heard time and time again from Lovefraud readers who have faced the same battle. When Tina met Seth, she didn't know he was a narcissist. In fact, like most of us, she didn't know what a narcissist was. But she was 25 years old and felt like she was ready to find a real relationship. Before Seth, Tina had been in relationships in which the man required "fixing." She realized that she didn't want …

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Jacqueline Kraft Bruno: 6 Ways to Heal the Feminine Spirit after Abuse

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By Jacqueline Kraft Bruno You may have identified you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, or a sociopath or a sociopathic-narcissist. You may have read and re-read the signs and symptoms. Maybe you have compared your stories with those of others who have walked the same road. Perhaps you have felt shock, anger and grief, at the realizations of who you were really with. Maybe you're wondering why. Why did I choose this person, or why did I let this person choose me? Maybe you're ready to start moving past it but find yourself reliving the past or the feelings of the past. Now what? For me, there wasn't a one stop solution for healing from the complex-trauma left behind when the …

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Collecting Alimony From A Sociopath–The Devil’s In The Details

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Divorcing my sociopathic husband was horrific. Hopefully, what I've learned can spare you some pain and aggravation, but by the very nature of interacting with any sociopath, there will still be pain and aggravation. Few Documents Can Stand Up to Intense, Constant, Malicious Scrutiny—But Do Your Best My book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com) chronicles my corrosive marriage and my toxic divorce.  The book, however, does not delve into the specifics of my divorce agreement that provided the foundation for excessive post-divorce legal expense and litigation. Other lawyers who reviewed my divorce agreement felt m …

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30 signs that you should dump your partner before Christmas

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The holidays are quickly approaching. It's the season when we decorate our homes, spend time with family and friends, and buy thoughtful gifts for the ones we love. Everyone wants someone to hug over the holidays. So even if things have been strained or rocky with our romantic partners, we may still want the holidays will be pleasant, even romantic. We may go out of our way to make them special, hoping our partner will reciprocate, or at least acknowledge our efforts. Sometimes we hope but fear that our partners will disappoint us. If you're apprehensive about how enjoyable the holidays with your partner will be, read on. Christmas with my ex I spent three holiday seasons with my …

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How to spot terrorists and sociopaths

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ZTksPl2jnfk"]Last Wednesday, Dec. 2, in San Bernardino, California, 14 people were killed and 21 wounded when two terrorists, Tashfeen Malik and Syed Rizwan Farook, shot up a holiday party. Yes, I said they were terrorists, although it took American officials several days to come to the conclusion that two Muslims with roots in the Middle East, wearing tactical clothing and killing innocent people with assault rifles, were, in fact, terrorists. Even after the FBI stated it was treating the bloodbath as an "act of terrorism," U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch "urged the public not to jump to conclusions about the motive for the attack or the couple's ties …

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Sociopaths–How They Lie and Why We Fall For It: Part 2

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Sociopaths have many tools in their deceptive toolkit. Last week, in Part 1, I explored three techniques "Paul," my husband of about 20 years who I now believe is a sociopath, used the day after our honeymoon.  (This is taken from my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned , available via Amazon.com).  The three techniques were:  1) framing the conversation to blind me to what was in clear view, 2) creating cognitive dissonance that I would likely resolve in his favor, 3) deceiving without uttering a single word that was untrue.  A barrage of other deceptive techniques, likely common to other liars and sociopaths, followed. "Our Hon …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I talked about my real feelings, and she replied ‘Mission accomplished’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Miran." It is very shocking to me to come to know that these people do exist in Life. I always lived in a world with good people around me, and never faced any emotional traumas in my life (I am 34 BTW). I met this girl, she is 22, cute, intelligent, amazing smile, not over pretty but something charming in her I could not understand. We started chatting and texting for a period of 4 months (on and off) and she always made me feel confused, even though we met more than once (not as dates) and we exchanged kisses more than once (she initiated). The whole scenario kept me confused, and I always felt reluctant to …

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How can a run-in with a sociopath be a spiritual journey?

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This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My first book is entitled, Love Fraud how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.  I imagine that for many of you, your reaction to this title is, "Huh?" God is good, right? The Universe is supposed to support us, right? So how can there possibly be anything spiritual about having your life trampled by a sociopath? Believe me, as I was in the midst of the struggle, I asked those questions. Except in my pleadings with my Higher Power, I wasn't so polite. As you can see from my wedding video, I was well and truly duped into marrying James Montgomery. He presented …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath got my brain twisted right away

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "freebird." Names have been changed. My story started July 24th. I had just joined plentyoffish.com, very ambivalently, as I was looking to hopefully meet someone worthy of my time. I received a message from "Karl." He was soooo hot, five years younger than me, just moved here from New York. I've always had a thing for the northerners. I found myself excited to get his messages, and the only reason I'd get on it at one point was just to talk to him. We switched numbers and talked a little before we met. He told me that he moved here to start a company with the goals of it merging with his prior company, and that …

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Sociopaths–How They Lie and Why We Fall For It: Part 1

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Sociopaths dazzle and distract with brilliant linguistic gymnastics to obscure their lies.  In my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com), I examine several conversations to reveal specific techniques "Paul" (my husband of about 20 years who I now believe is a sociopath), used to obscure the truth. These techniques are likely common to other liars and sociopaths as well. "Our Honeymoon Isn't Over Until I Say It's Over!”  The night we'd returned from our honeymoon, I needed to make a business-related call.  Paul was furious with me and snapped, "Our honeymoon isn't over until I say it's over!”  It was so out o …

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