How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Husband, Liar, SOCIOPATH–How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned

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  By O.N. Ward For several months, I've posted an entry here every Thursday. Some entries have been edited excerpts from my book "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) while others have been inspired by things I've read both on the Lovefraud website and elsewhere. From this point forward, I'll be posting chapters from my book in order, one at a time. Forward In Disguise The book is a memoir about having my life entangled for about 20 years with someone I now believe is a sociopath. The experience was soul destroying and life altering. As my life and spirit …

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Two teleseminars: ‘Rollercoaster Relationship Recovery’ and ‘Dating After a Difficult Relationship’

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By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW Toxic relationships cause damage to partners' self-esteem and self-confidence, to partners' connections with their support systems, and to their confidence in their own judgment and the goodness of other people. As a coach and therapist specializing in supporting partners and exes of psychopaths, narcissists, and people with Borderline Personality Disorder, I have come to believe that a valuable healing resource for survivors comes in the form of sympathetic connections with others sometimes as one-on-one therapeutic relationships, sometimes as communities of people who have had similar experiences, and sometimes as new relationships with supportive partners. These …

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British girls, aged 13 and 14, murder a helpless woman

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Two girls from the United Kingdom were recently sentenced to life in prison for beating a woman for more than nine hours, stopping only to pose for pictures, and then leaving her to die. The girls were 13 and 14 years old when they committed the crime in December 2014. The story was forwarded to Lovefraud by a reader. She wrote: "In my opinion, the most shocking aspect of the reporting and analysis of this horrifying story is the fact that the girls/murderers have never been described/diagnosed as psychopathic, despite the fact that their joint attack on this defense-less women and their demeanor in court showed a complete lack of conscience or remorse.  Most disturbing is the fact that …

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Child abuse is America’s biggest public health crisis, and if you had a sociopathic parent, it could explain what happened to you

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Yesterday I was standing in line, horrified at how a man in front of me was treating his two little girls. The girls looked to be about two and four years old. One of them was in a stroller. He yelled at the older girl I don't know why. When she started crying, he yelled at her again, threatening to hit her if she didn't stop crying. No matter what the kids did dropped a blanket on the floor, touched the stanchion rope the guy yelled. If this father was treating his kids this way in public what in the world was he doing at home? Make no mistake the guy was engaging in child abuse, and the kids will likely suffer from it for the rest of their lives. I'm not exaggerating. Research shows …

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After the sociopath, date differently

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  Many women, after realizing they were romantically involved with a sociopath, say they'll never get involved in a relationship again. I do agree that you should refrain from dating for a while, maybe a long while, until you are reasonably healed from your experience. But "never" is a really long time. If you never engage your heart again, the sociopath will win permanently. And that would be a crying shame. But how do you try again? You fell for the lies once. Can you trust yourself to spot a predator? To help women who want to move forward, my friend, Teagin Maddox, is producing a free series of interviews with recovery and relationship experts, including me. It's called: Spot …

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Five Ways To Know He’s Not Here To Stay

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By Nava Renek I should have suspected something was wrong last year during March Madness when we'd gone to a neighborhood bar to watch the Final Four. At half-time, a lively woman with short gray hair in a pixie cut wandered over and struck up a conversation with us. She seemed a little tipsy but was friendly enough, and as we continued talking, we agreed to meet her next door at another bar where she claimed a good band was playing. She said she was planning her 60th birthday, and after a few more shots of tequila, I had the feeling she was trying to pick us up. When she finally leaned into me and asked if we were monogamous, I answered “yes.” My partner said: “no.” We didn't take her up on …

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Victims of Sociopaths and Victim Blamers

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Searching for inspiration for this post, I stumbled across some pretty unattractive, “victim blaming” directed to someone who had been involved in a relationship with a person who is likely a sociopath. Victim Blaming  I find victim blaming unattractive for humanitarian and moral reasons, but I also find a deep irony in victim blaming—that the person accusing others of naivety and a lack of insight about human behavior, is in fact, themselves, displaying profound naivety and a lack of insight about human behavior. It's as if they are assuming that all people have the same experiences and opportunities, hence if someone is deceived by a sociopath, it can only be due to that person's inherent …

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Prosecutor says teacher accused of sexual contact with his student married her so she won’t testify

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Alabama math teacher Matthew Shane Wester, 38, was indicted for having sexual contact with a student, Amy Nicole Cox. So he divorced his wife, and two months later, married his alleged victim. Blount County District Attorney Pamela Case calls the marriage a "sham." She says Wester married the girl so she couldn't be forced to testify against him. 'The marriage is a sham:' Teacher, 38, married his eighteen-year-old student just 67 days after divorcing his first wife to avoid having to testify in trial, says DA, on DailyMail.com. …

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Frightening story of a stalker who wouldn’t quit

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A man in the U.K. stalked a woman and her husband for years. The couple decided to move away, and instead of abating, the stalking got worse. Eventually the stalker showed up at their door with a gun. Read the entire outrageous story: The stalker and the woman who refused to give in, on BBC.com.   …

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If a sociopath cries at movies, does it mean he has feelings?

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Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Alana." Thank you for this wonderful site. Unless you have been through it, no one can understand the insanity of a Narcissist/psychopath. There are three things that I have noticed about my Narcissist. He can cry at movies, at cute you tube videos about kittens, but if I am upset, he stares at me blankly. I understand that he does not have any empathy toward me, but what is the deal with the crying at movies, etc? You know, for a long time I thought that was a sign that he really did have feelings that would eventually show themselves. That he had the capacity for empathy. But I was so wrong. How is this …

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