Archive for April, 2016

Psychopaths and altruists

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Scott Johnson

Psychopaths, who feel nothing for people, and altruists, who feel overwhelmingly for people, are two ends of a continuum on how people relate to each other, says Alison Gopnik, writing in the Wall Street Journal.

The amygdala, a particular part of the brain, reflects this continuum. It’s smaller than normal in psychopaths and larger than normal in altruists.

Gopnik’s article may be a revelation to many Wall Street Journal readers, but probably not for Lovefraud readers. What was shocking, however, was the New Yorker story of the psychopath that Gopnik referred to.

He was Scott Johnson, who was definitely at the high end of the psychopathy scale. In 2008, he was a 38-year-old man angry at … Read more

Posted in: Laws and courts, Media sociopaths

She was almost like a drug that I was addicted to

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Editors Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Sawyer”

1. Started talking in October, she met me through my sister’s Facebook. She saw a pic of me that my sister posted with my niece. She winked in the comments and added me on Facebook on October 2nd.

2. Month of October, started talking a little on Facebook, we did not talk a lot. Setup a date for her and I to go eat at Zukies asked if she liked Japanese food she said yes. She did not show up, said that she got into a fight with her mom and could not come. I talked to her told her I could come … Read more

Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Sociopaths Count On Getting The Benefit Of The Doubt

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By O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 3: Sociopath Math

I can almost hear the collective cacophony. “Onna! That can’t be the whole story. There has to be something more to it. There are always two sides.”

In an attempt to be fair and to give everyone involved the benefit of the doubt, we tend to discount and dismiss malicious, destructive behavior. Sociopaths count on this. … Read more

Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, Millions of sociopaths, O.N. Ward, Sociopaths as predators

The psychopath wormed his way into my life

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Editors Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of”Thinking Girl”. The names in this story have been changed.

The sociopath was a man 18 years my junior.

He targeted me while I lectured at the university where he did a degree. He was not my student. He would follow me around, stalk me practically until after a year he wore me down with his attentions. He was always helpful, but wanted my help as a mentor.

I was going through a separation from my husband. The psychopath wormed his way into my life.

He was charming and had an elaborate story about being the son of a billionaire from Texas. … Read more

Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud, Uncategorized

Was Paul McCartney’s ex-wife, Heather Mills, a sociopath?

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Heather Mills and Paul McCartney (Bucci/Getty)

A new biography of Paul McCartney of the Beatles paints his ex-wife, Heather Mills, as a money-grubbing liar who took millions of pounds, and several properties, in the divorce.

She claimed she was sexually abused and left home at 13, which was a lie.

She claimed to be a former high-fashion model, when she really posed for downmarket lingerie catalogs.

She even said she was in the running for the Nobel Peace Prize, which was total fabrication.

Even the rich and famous can fall for the romance scam.

Why DID Paul McCartney marry such a lying money grabber? Launching an unmissable series from a top biographer, a jaw-dropping insight into the greed … Read more

Posted in: Media sociopaths, Sociopaths and money

To recover from the sociopath, allow yourself to feel the pain

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Lovefraud just published a Spath Tale in which a reader, “simpleme56,” describes her terrible experience of multiple betrayals. Here’s how she begins her story:

I came from an abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, and worked hard for over thirty years to heal, to educate myself to be able to understand the dynamics of my abuser and move forward in my life.

Believing she finally found an incredible man, she left the abusive marriage, but quickly learned, to her horror, that the new man was another abuser. If you haven’t read her story yet, I invite you to do so:

Back and forth, from the abusive husband to the sociopathic boyfriend

It seems so disheartening. Simpleme56 worked hard … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Recovery from a sociopath

Back and forth, from the abusive husband to the sociopathic boyfriend

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Editor’s Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name “simpleme56.”

I came from an abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, and worked hard for over thirty years to heal, to educate myself to be able to understand the dynamics of my abuser and move forward in my life. I’m not 100% healed. But I came to terms with my life and began to move forward with education and professional jobs.

And at 48 I met who I thought was the most incredible man I had ever met. I thought I was smart and was very careful waiting a year to see if the other shoe would drop and it didn’t.

I made … Read more

Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud, Uncategorized

Man slits his estranged wife’s throat in Hawaii supermarket

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Steven Schmidt mug shot

Stephen Schmidt, 45, is accused of murdering his estranged wife, Kehau Farias Schmidt, 24, in a supermarket in Maui, Hawaii. He also allegedly stabbed two other men who tried to intervene.

A witness said Stephen Schmidt appeared to be stalking the young woman. He was arrested and his bail set at $3 million.

Man charged in fatal stabbing of wife at Maui grocery store, on HawaiiNewsNow.com.… Read more

Posted in: Laws and courts

Sociopaths and forced teaming – ‘we’re in this together’

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By O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the link at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 2: Please Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain

This probably sounds like the beginning of a love story, a second chance for two people moving on after unsuccessful first marriages. That is how I viewed it at the time, but I was wrong. I would not figure it out for twenty years, but the man to … Read more

Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, Millions of sociopaths, O.N. Ward, Sociopaths as predators

The sociopath threw her sobbing into the front yard, but now she’s recovered and performing on stage

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Avril.” Names are changed.

It’s not possible for me to tell my entire story in a short blog, it’d need a whole book, but let me give you a bite-sized round up.

This year marks 20 years since the blight entered our lives. I was a 32-year-old divorced mother of two small children, I was on holiday with my mother, my terminally ill father and my little sons. He was a brown-eyed handsome man who was running the bar at the resort. He was utterly charming and his eyes twinkled when he smiled. I had no chance.

When I met him, though I was vulnerable … Read more

Posted in: Sociopaths as predators, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud