How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Q&A with attorney Megan Lyons, an expert in court battles with sociopaths

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Megan Lyons, Esq., who is based in Sarasota, Florida, is the newest member of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? I have dealt with pathological sociopaths for most of my life in my personal experience, romantically and in the professional arena. As a result of these life changing experiences and relationships, I committed years to studying sociopathy and the recovery from such insidious and sadistic abuse. How do you go about helping clients who have tangled with a sociopath?  Because of my personal experience with sociopaths, I am able to provide genuine …

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10 reasons why sociopaths’ lies seem so believable

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When we finally figure out that just about everything a sociopath told us is a lie, we are shocked. How can anyone lie so fluently? And why did we fall for it? Here are 10 reasons why the lies sociopaths tell seem so believable: Sociopaths tell you how honest they are Early on, sociopaths may tell you how much they value honesty, that truthfulness is the foundation of all relationships. Their objective is to convince you of their trustworthiness, so that when you encounter their lies, you don't see them. Sociopaths lie while they look directly into your eyes Some experts say that if people look up and to their right while speaking, it's a sign that they are lying. Other …

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Sociopaths: Breaking hearts for fun and pleasure

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Lovefraud recently heard from a woman in England; we'll call her Suzie. Suzie met a man on LargeFriends.com who said his name was Mike. Mike lived in Oregon, which was 5,000 miles away. Yet they quickly developed a rapport, and within weeks Mike was sending Suzie cards, e-cards, e-mails, drawings and stories written just for her. About a month after they first made contact, Mike declared his love for Suzie—even though they had never met. They exchanged their phone numbers and addresses. They talked on the phone for hours and bought webcams so they could see each other. Mike told Suzie he abhorred infidelity, which was the reason why he wasn't married at age 45—he intended to marry only …

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My sociopathic ex-husband led my son into the lion’s den

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Eleanor." Names have been changed. The sociopath is my ex-husband. We were married for 10 years, two children, girl and boy. He changed THE DAY we were married. He has alcohol problem, cheated on me, lies. When I asked him to see marriage counselor, he told me to go by myself. I went for counseling by myself for approximately 4 months and was told, "I can either counsel you to live with him or counsel you to live without him." This is way before I figured out he is a sociopath, I decided this was not my idea of love. So I told ex that I was going for divorce. He was enraged. Would not give me money for …

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Why our brains don’t see the truth about sociopaths

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 32: So Close And Yet So Far Having validation that my perception of Paul was as real as any perception could be and not distorted by my bias and any personal baggage was inordinately helpful. Paul had always played the “I have no idea what you are talking about” or the “You must be jealous” cards with me when I broached the subject of his and Anne-Marie's behavior. I was always too …

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Retirees: Beware of Internet love scams and computer repair scams

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  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a retired woman who hopes to warn others about the dangers she encountered on the Internet. In the past, my only contact with psychopaths was in the psychiatric penitentiary where I worked as the librarian, but lately I have been meeting a number of them on the Internet. Most of them approached me through Skype, although several contacted me via other sources. If some of your readers do not really realize it yet, if approached by a general in the US Army, or any officer in the Army, or captain of a ship, or a doctor in the Middle East for UN or whatever, who is lonely and wants to befriend you, then loves you — DON'T FALL …

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Mind control: A real and dangerous problem

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A woman is trapped in a situation that is just like a cult, although the cult has a leader, the woman's husband, and only one follower, her. It's frightening. The husband totally abuses his wife, made her sign a suicide note, and attempted to poison her. The story sounds totally unbelievable, but cases like this do happen. If you know someone in this situation, the best thing you can do is maintain communication with the person. You don't necessarily want to denounce the cult leader, because that could backfire. For more information, I recommend the work of Steve Hassan, including his website, Freedom of Mind.   …

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Sociopaths Can Turn On You In A Heartbeat

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 31: Not Your Everyday Walk In The Park Soon after the cookie incident, I was in a park near Paul's office when I noticed two people who worked for Paul eating a bag lunch while sitting on the park swings. Neither of them recognized me. The only time I had met them was at a holiday party, and I had been dressed up with makeup, contacts, and my hair down. With blue jeans and a …

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I had to wake up to reality – psychopaths are real

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Willa." My Mom and sister are mean and they don't feel guilt. They made the pain seem normal. I finally hit bottom and had to wake up to a reality I never dreamed was true, "psychopaths are real." I was in a relationship for 4 years of torture. I thought he was my dream man. I thought we where going to marry. When we met, he was 35 and lived with his mom and dad. They said he was a loving son, good boy never in trouble. I never saw him drink, drugs, smoke. He liked everything I liked. It was like my perfect twin soul mate. He did what I wanted to do. He went along with everything I wanted. Outwardly I …

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“Woman chained like a dog” case: How can we protect ourselves from people who are pure evil?

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Todd Christopher Kohlhepp, 45, of Moore, South Carolina was denied bail yesterday after being charged with kidnapping and murder. Last week, news broke that a woman had been found alive in a metal storage container on a rural property in Woodruff, South Carolina. According to the Spartanburg sheriff, she'd been in the container for two months, chained by her neck "like a dog." Kala Brown, 30, along with her boyfriend, Charles Carver, 32, had been missing since late August. Brown and Carver went to the 95-acre property, owned by Kohlhepp, to do work for him, and when they arrived, Brown said, Kohlhepp shot Carver. His body was just found. Brown told authorities that four more people …

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