A classic sign of psychopathy is cruelty towards animals. I’ve heard horror stories of psychopaths callously killing kittens, dogs and other animals. My psychopathic ex-husband, however, liked animals. He walked my dog every morning and brought home exotic pets. So he did not fit that stereotype. This observation is a small indication that psychopaths, antisocials and narcissists are not all the same. In fact, Dr. Theodore Millon, who was one of the great theorists of personality and personality disorders, identified 10 subtypes of psychopathy. His work does much to explain why some psychopaths plot deliberate, complex schemes and others act on impulse with no regard for consequences. It e …
Psychopathy gene runs deep in my family
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who realizes that the psychopathy gene runs deep in her family of origin. We’ll call her Laura22. I am the product of an unwanted teenage pregnancy. My parents were high school sweethearts. My father was captain of the football team and my mother was head cheerleader. They got married after finding out about the pregnancy, she was 16 and he was 19. The first 2 years of my life the 3 of us lived next to my father's parents in a trailer. When I was 3 my father got a job as an electrician with a large construction company and we moved to far away. My mother found us a place to live. We rented part of an elder man's very large …
Why we comply with the sociopath’s demands when we know we shouldn’t
The cable TV network NewsNation recently interviewed me for a story about why some women help inmates bust out of jail. This is obviously wrong and illegal, but multiple people have done it (See Top 10 people who helped their lovers escape from prison.) Experts generally report that many prisoners are sociopaths—this is probably especially true of those who plot escapes. So the question is, why do people who know better comply with the sociopath's demands, including outrageous demands like escaping from prison? In the most recent jailbreak, Samuel Hartman, convicted of raping a nine-year-old child, escaped from an Arkansas prison work detail, allegedly with the help of his mother and wife. N …
Why we comply with the sociopath’s demands when we know we shouldn’tRead More
Deny, attack, play the victim: the typical abuser response to confrontation
If you ever attempt to talk to sociopaths about their bad behavior, you’ll probably encounter the following: They’ll deny that they did anything wrong, attack you for bringing it up, and then claim that it’s all your fault and you should be apologizing to them. You’ll be shocked, but you shouldn’t be. Research shows that this is the typical abuser response to confrontation. One researcher studied women who confronted people who had sexually abused them as children. What happened? 44% of the victims heard complete denials from their abusers 22% were accused of misunderstanding the abuser’s conduct 44% were told they were crazy 22% heard a partial admission of guilt, only to ha …
Deny, attack, play the victim: the typical abuser response to confrontationRead More
Psychopaths at work – everything you need to know in one breezy article
No matter what you do for a living, there’s a good chance that you’ll come across psychopaths at work. Why? It’s quite simple — we live among millions of psychopaths, and they’re everywhere. These disordered individuals are hiding in plain sight in all demographic groups, communities and walks of life. So yes, you’ll encounter them on the job — perhaps as co-workers, customers, or vendors. Or, in a particularly difficult situation, the psychopath could be your boss. So how do you spot psychopaths at work? And if you think someone might have the traits, what do you do? I recently came across this terrific explanation and summary at Observer.com: This is how to deal with psychopaths and toxi …
Psychopaths at work – everything you need to know in one breezy articleRead More
High-energy sociopaths — 5 reasons why they just keep pushing
If you’ve had a sociopath in your life — as a romantic partner, family member, work colleague or acquaintance — you may have observed that the person always seems to be in overdrive. What is it with these high-energy sociopaths? They never let up. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who had the misfortune of being romantically involved with someone she described as having the traits of a malignant narcissist. Here is her question: How do sociopaths/narcissists/psychopaths have so much energy? I would feel completely exhausted after getting engaged in any sort of conversation. He, on the other, he felt fine despite the fact that he was my only source of emotional and ver …
High-energy sociopaths — 5 reasons why they just keep pushingRead More
‘Under the ether’ – why you fell for the scam
When I finally realized that my husband was a complete con artist, and I had been thoroughly duped and betrayed, the person I was most angry with was myself. I’m intelligent, educated, responsible and self-sufficient. Why did I waste $227,000 of my hard-earned money on his so-called business plans? Most of them, it turned out, involved trysts with other women. Why did I believe him? Why did I fall for the scam? I am certainly not alone in asking these questions. In 2021, American consumers lost a record $547 million in romance scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). This was a jump of nearly 80% over 2020. Losses to romance scammers in the last five years totaled $1.3 b …
Obituary for a sociopath: Evil does eventually die
https://youtu.be/lFz3Ye351YE It's refreshing, and for some people healing, to see an honest obituary for a sociopath. Lawrence H Pfaff Sr. died recently, and the notice in the Florida Times Union reflected how his son truly felt about him: Lawrence H Pfaff Sr. was born in Belmont, NY, on April 16, 1941. He passed away on June 27, 2022, living a long life, much longer than he deserved. He is survived by his three children, no four. Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more. His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited. From a young age, he was a ladies' man and an abusive alcoholic, …
Perspecticide and percepticide: effects of psychological terror
The primary goal of anyone trapped in an abusive situation is survival. When you feel like you aren’t in charge of your life, and you see no way out, how do you survive? This can happen to people who are being coercively controlled in an intimate relationship, are stuck in a cult, or are living in a region of declared or undeclared war. Sometimes the situation is so threatening that the mind can’t deal with it. Psychological solutions include perspecticide and percepticide — the inability to see what is really happening. I first encountered the term “perspecticide” in a Business Insider article from 2017 entitled, Manipulative people brainwash their partners using something called ‘perspect …
Perspecticide and percepticide: effects of psychological terrorRead More
Guidelines for dealing with female sociopaths
Millions of sociopaths live among us, and a significant proportion of them are women. Unfortunately, many Lovefraud readers have learned about female sociopaths the hard way. Over the past few years, I’ve exchanged emails with a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Steve22.” Steve22 has been involved with a woman for about 20 years. Slowly, over the last 10 years, he figured out what was wrong with her: She has a serious personality disorder. She exploits and manipulates others — particularly him. Luckily, Steve22 never married the woman, and now he is planning his exit strategy. He will soon retire, and he’ll leave not only his job, but also the female sociopath. They do share a house, and sh …