How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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7 Surprising Reasons Why Loving a Cheater Is Actually a Gift

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This article, by Donna Andersen, was originally published on YourTango.com. Your partner is a heartless, unrepentant cheater. Here's why it could be good for you. My ex-husband cheated as a way of life. He carried on affairs with at least six women (that I know of) during our relationship—which was amazing, considering we were only together for two and a half years. He had a child with one of those women. And then, 10 days after I left him—not after we divorced, after I left him—he married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Sorting through the file boxes full of papers he left behind—the guy was a packrat—I discovered evidence that during the seven or so …

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I am legally not allowed to protect my child from his sociopathic father

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Editor's note: Lovefraud recevied the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Clarissa." I met the sociopath when I was a 16-year-old Crown Ward on "Independent Living." He was older than me and in the Army. I was in high school. I became pregnant at 17. Children's Aid attempted to abandon me and have me instead rely on social services. The sociopath (father) wanted me to abort the child or keep it   not put it up for adoption. He would not have a child of his in the world where he could not control it. I had been considering adoption or having the child on my own and didn't want him involved. His mother, possibly also sociopathic, met me in secret urging me to make a family with her s …

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‘Red Flags of Love Fraud’ now in Spanish: ‘Alertas Rojas de Estafa Amorosa’

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Editor's note: If you have Spanish-speaking friends, family or acquaintances, and you want to help protect them from sociopaths, here is the answer. "Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath," is now available in Spanish! Forward this article to them. Alertas rojas de estafa amorosa 10 señales de que estás saliendo con un sociópata De Donna Andersen, autora de Lovefraud.com Tienes una relacin amorosa que comenzó como un torbellino de atención y afecto, pero ahora te atormenta el temor de que algo no va bien. O has tenido una relación que era verbal, emocional, financiera o incluso físicamente abusiva. Esa persona ya se ha ido, pero sigues sin comprender cómo te eng …

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10 Signs You’re Addicted to Loving a Cheater

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Editor's note: This article by Donna Andersen was originally published on YourTango.com. All of the following still applies if your partner is a woman. You know he's seeing another woman. Or perhaps you ARE the other woman. Why can't you let him go? You discover your man is cheating. You know he's bad for you. Your friends tell you to dump him, but the truth is, you still want him. If the pull is unbearably strong, maybe it's not love that you feel—but addiction. Do you do any of the following? (Be honest!) 1. You confront him about the calls in his phone from other women. He comes up excuses, you know they're lame—but you accept them anyway. 2. He says that it's your fault tha …

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Overcoming the insanity of co-parenting with an exploiter

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Book Review: Divorcing a Narcissist One Mom's Battle, by Tina Swithin "The only thing more difficult than being married to a narcissist is divorcing a narcissist." This is one of the first sentences that Tina Swithin writes in her book, Divorcing a Narcissist One Mom's Battle. It's a sentiment I've heard time and time again from Lovefraud readers who have faced the same battle. When Tina met Seth, she didn't know he was a narcissist. In fact, like most of us, she didn't know what a narcissist was. But she was 25 years old and felt like she was ready to find a real relationship. Before Seth, Tina had been in relationships in which the man required "fixing." She realized that she didn't want …

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30 signs that you should dump your partner before Christmas

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The holidays are quickly approaching. It's the season when we decorate our homes, spend time with family and friends, and buy thoughtful gifts for the ones we love. Everyone wants someone to hug over the holidays. So even if things have been strained or rocky with our romantic partners, we may still want the holidays will be pleasant, even romantic. We may go out of our way to make them special, hoping our partner will reciprocate, or at least acknowledge our efforts. Sometimes we hope but fear that our partners will disappoint us. If you're apprehensive about how enjoyable the holidays with your partner will be, read on. Christmas with my ex I spent three holiday seasons with my …

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How to spot terrorists and sociopaths

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ZTksPl2jnfk"]Last Wednesday, Dec. 2, in San Bernardino, California, 14 people were killed and 21 wounded when two terrorists, Tashfeen Malik and Syed Rizwan Farook, shot up a holiday party. Yes, I said they were terrorists, although it took American officials several days to come to the conclusion that two Muslims with roots in the Middle East, wearing tactical clothing and killing innocent people with assault rifles, were, in fact, terrorists. Even after the FBI stated it was treating the bloodbath as an "act of terrorism," U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch "urged the public not to jump to conclusions about the motive for the attack or the couple's ties …

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How can a run-in with a sociopath be a spiritual journey?

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This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My first book is entitled, Love Fraud how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.  I imagine that for many of you, your reaction to this title is, "Huh?" God is good, right? The Universe is supposed to support us, right? So how can there possibly be anything spiritual about having your life trampled by a sociopath? Believe me, as I was in the midst of the struggle, I asked those questions. Except in my pleadings with my Higher Power, I wasn't so polite. As you can see from my wedding video, I was well and truly duped into marrying James Montgomery. He presented …

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‘Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson,’ a two-part documentary on domestic violence in Australia, airs Nov. 24 and 25

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Isabella Cullen's husband, Ben, hit her in the face as he held their child in his arms. Wendy fled her ex-partner with her children. They had only the clothes they were wearing. "Rachel's" injuries are documented by a doctor who runs a forensic domestic violence service. These are some of the stories included in "Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson," a documentary about the "epidemic" of domestic violence in Australia. It airs Tuesday, Nov. 24, and Wednesday, Nov. 25, on ABC in Australia. As the women tell their stories, they describe the same behaviors we discuss here on Lovefraud every day. The stories are chilling. Woman whose husband punched her until she was bleeding in the face as he held …

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Profiler offers $25,000 reward for killer of four prostitutes, and describes how the murderer thinks

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Nine years ago today, on Nov. 20, 2006, the bodies of four women were found in a drainage ditch outside of Atlantic City, New Jersey. Nobody was ever arrested in the case. Now, a criminal profiler from New Jersey, John Kelly of S.T.A.L.K. Inc, is offering a $25,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer. The profile Kelly and his team developed is chilling. It reads, in part: "He has an extreme foot fetish and has a collection of women's shoes and the shoes of his victims ”¦ He is nonsocial and likes to keep to himself. he is narcissistic (everything revolves around him), and he is also very concerned with making himself look good in all aspects." Donna An …

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