Jane Pinney was married to a sociopath and adopted two children. Her husband attempted to poison her, and then accused her (of what, I'm not sure, but it was serious). The experience inspired Pinney to write a book called Letters to God. This book does not relay the chronology of events. Instead, it tells the story of Pinney's state of mind, in real time, as she tries to pull herself out of the abyss created by her disordered ex-husband. She starts the book by writing, I realized that in all my life, especially this past year, I have written thousands of letters to hundreds of people. Everyone under the sun, who I thought could help me in my quest to protect those I love and bring to …
Guilt, shame and committing crime
A recent study in the journal Psychological Science suggests that the degree to which inmates express guilt or shame may indicate how likely they are to re-offend. The researchers, June Tangney, Jeffrey Stuewig and Andres Martinez of George Mason University, associated guilt with experiences of tension, remorse and regret. They defined shame as painful feelings directed towards the self. But the researchers also said that when some people experience shame, they become defensive, deny responsibility and blame others. The study showed that inmates who felt shame, but were also defensive and blamed others, were more likely to go back to crime than those who felt guilt. Here's more …
Contrary to claims, the PBS Sherlock Holmes is not a ‘high functioning sociopath’
Along with the hit show Downton Abbey, PBS has recently run the series Sherlock. In this remake of the classic detective story, the gifted private investigator is working today, solving the most difficult and puzzling crimes. In a recent episode, Sherlock's sidekick, Dr. John Watson, a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, is getting married. He asks Sherlock Holmes to be his best man. The big day arrives, and Sherlock must use his extraordinary powers of deduction to prevent a murder right at the wedding reception. Here is more information about the show, including an episode preview: Sherlock: Season 3, Episode 2 The Sign of Three High-functioning sociopath? Early in the episode, …
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A sociopath asks, ‘Why should we change?’
Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received this email in response to a previous article written by a self-proclaimed sociopath. I've read the article titled A sociopath claims, ”˜We are the uniquely gifted,' and most of replies to it. First of all I'd like to make clear that the author of that letter is narcisisstic and quite delusional as he thinks himself some kind of superhuman. But apart from that, most of the things he said are true. Wouldn't you use the so called 'gift' of manipulation if it ensured you got what you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable? After all, it is you who let us manipulate you. From replies you can clearly see that people are afraid and that's th …
All sociopaths lie
Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, led a double life. He worked at the Federal Aviation Administration Technical Center, which required a security clearance. He had a wife, the result of an arranged marriage in his native India. But for the past three weeks, Patel has been on trial, charged with sexually assaulting, or attempting to sexually assault, seven women in Atlantic City during the summer of 2012. Some of the women were working as prostitutes. During the trial, Patel admitted that he was addicted to prostitutes, but he denied assaulting the women. Here's some of the news coverage: Accused rapist tells jury he's paid 200 prostitutes for sex, not rape, on …
Read ‘A Narcissist’s Love Letter’
It's Valentine's Day, the day when many people celebrate love, including sociopaths (which, here on Lovefraud, include antisocials, narcissists. and borderlines). These exploiters do not experience love as we do. But they are often very good at faking it. They profess their love, make promises of future happiness and create grand gestures to demonstrate their love which we may later realize was a demonstration for an audience, not for us. So when they say, "I love you," what do they mean? This post on ThoughtCatalog.com, by John Howell, answers the question. A Narcissist's Love Letter Thank you to Sarah Strudwick for sharing this link. …
The Atlantic writes sparsely about psychopaths and rehabilitation
The Atlantic Magazine was founded in 1857 by luminaries such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The publication was known for literary and cultural commentary. Today the magazine and its website, TheAtlantic.com, are primarily aimed at "thought leaders." So when I saw that TheAtlantic.com published a piece entitled, Can Psychopaths Be Rehabilitated?, I was pleased to see this topic be addressed by a well-respected publication. I anticipate it would present a thorough and thoughtful discussion of the issue. I was disappointed. What the author, Carla Norton, wrote was accurate, but she barely scratched the surface of this topic. She spends half of the short article …
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BOOK REVIEW: Carnal Abuse by Deceit
Many, many Lovefraud readers, I am sure, will be able to relate to Joyce M. Short's new book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape. I wish this were not the case, but it is. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. Much of the book is her personal story, and this is what will feel so familiar to many readers. Joyce writes about her outwardly successful, well-off family of origin and what was really going on behind closed doors. Here's a hint: Her father wasn't necessarily the upstanding citizen that he presented himself to be. She writes about young, handsome and …
Why sociopaths keep showing up
A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following question: I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this? This reader posts as "Sam." Last year I published her story as a "Letter to Lovefraud." The explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of Sam's story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her: She witnessed domestic violence from a very young age. She left home before she turned 15. She suffered from depression. Her …
Young woman whose mother kidnapped her as a child speaks out
Back in 1994, Dorothy Barnett lost custody of her still-nursing 9 1/2-month-old daughter to her ex-husband, Benjamin Harris Todd. According to news reports, when Barnett became pregnant, Todd originally wanted her to terminate it. Then, as they split up, Todd painted her as mentally deficient, and convinced the court in Charleston, South Carolina, to award him custody. Fearing for her daughter's safety, Barnett took her and disappeared for almost 20 years. In November, she was located in Australia and arrested for parental kidnapping. The child, now called Samantha Geldenhuys, 20, never knew of her history. For the first time, she tells her story on Australian TV. Woman kidnapped …
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