How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I am not, and never have been mad – just stressed and traumatized because of him

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Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Laverne." I feel that my life has been basically ruined (and is still being ruined) by the father of my children who is a truly vicious sociopath. He stalks the background of my life like the Grim Reaper feeding off the misery he causes. For anyone who has not had this type of experience it is very hard to explain, as sociopaths, such as my ex partner, appear so 'normal' to others, whilst making you, the victim, seem like the 'mad' one. As we have children together I feel like I am trapped and the only way out is if he were to die. My whole existence is one of nervous terror - waiting for the next …

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Sarah Strudwick Presents: ‘Dark Souls’ – The Aftermath Talk

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Editor's note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. She has also created a wonderful animation that describes the antics of a sociopath, called Exposing the Mask of Insanity. Sarah Strudwick Presents: 'Dark Souls' — The Aftermath Talk LONDON Saturday 31st January 2015 12.30-2.30 A good way of describing the relationship with a sociopath is to liken it to a Tsunami. Sometimes you are lucky enough to come out of it unscathed but for many you are left with an aftermath  which can take days, months or even years to clean up. Five years ago Sarah Strudwick decided to write Dark Souls fresh out of her  relationship with a s …

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The sociopath left me to go back to his wife 5 times over the past 14 years

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Editor's Note:  This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Tilly Marie." I've been involved with a sociopath for over 14 years. We met at work and fell in love. At least I did. We were both married to other people at the time, and there has been a merry dance led between myself and his wife ever since -- he leaves her, sets up home with me, kicks me out, there's a dramatic showdown, then he ignores me for weeks or months. This has happened five times in 14 years -- that last time being a few weeks ago. I could never fully understand the reasons why he did this, to me or to her. He's painted me as crazy to her and her as crazy to me. Wash. Rinse. …

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I still can’t believe he convinced me to stay

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Editor's Note: This Spath Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Peggy-Elizabeth." I met him in 1997 and eloped in 1998. Even though that little voice inside told me not to, I still married him. I found that I took my vows more seriously than he EVER did. He's cheated on me since day one. He's lied, cheated, stolen money, forged checks, pawned all of MY belongings, used my credit cards, gave my clothes to girlfriends and only he knows what else. Obviously, I didn't know all this then but I had my suspicions, yet when I began distancing myself again, the story of him being a victim of child molestation emerged. This caused a major rift in his family, and now being …

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‘Sociopath’ – A Poem

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Editor's Note: This poem was written by a Lovefraud reader. Sociopath By J. Boehm Aren't we taught there is good in every person? But some are so evil you couldn't imagine Living with us in greater numbers than you can fathom With no conscience to hinder their action Their charm and wit gets us every time Along with abundant compliments sublime They will make you feel sorry for them too With sad stories they never even went through Every word they say is a lie They are experts at feigning a cry You may have reached out to a human shell Believing all the lies they tell If they hook you because of your trusting nature You are not to blame for your kind gesture They are …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was all a fraud (Part 3 – Escape, Freedom and Love)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. Read Part 1 — The Imbalance. Part 2 — Absolute Power. This is Part 3.   We get married and my son goes to trade school Now, it was decided when we left for our honeymoon July of 2010 that the $600 a month X had been collecting since the previous April (and keeping) in rent from my property would become only $300 beginning that August -- allowing my son to then keep $75 weekly for his needs. It was also at this time that my son, following through with his part in our plans for him, began Trade school. He graduated that following May and becam …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was a fraud (Part 2 – Absolute power)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. Read Part 1 — The Imbalance. This is Part 2 — Absolute Power. Kindhearted people too often are preyed upon by Narcissists  I have known many Narcissists in my lifetime. I had not yet been schooled on the psychology of narcissism though, but looking back now, obviously my education had begun, I just had not realized yet what it was that I was seeing. I chuckle still as I recall X exclaim that he could relate well with all my exes, evil men, drug addicts, pedophiles, violent men and thieves, who like him, once they realized they could not be who they …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Hindsight is 20/20; his love was a fraud (Part 1 – The imbalance)

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Lil' Bit." This is a three-part letter. This is Part 1 — The Imbalance. I have never been ashamed of surviving what others are capable of, in fact once I fight back the bitterness and anger I fill with pride that it wasn't in my heart to even fathom their true intent. Inasmuch as it hurts to breathe the stagnant air of the world's disease, too many, looking out for themselves at any cost, I would rather endure the hell I have, losing all that others covet in their attempts to emulate what they can only pretend to be. I prefer it be that I don't have it in my heart to see such things e …

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Not all sociopaths are charming and polished

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Leslie Ann.” The names in this story have been changed. I met Matt. I was tired of dating and definitely tired of dating jerks. Matt was stable, not as good looking as the men I had dated before, in fact he seemed a little awkward. He was very kind and polite. I was ready to get married and settle down. He said he had been divorced for 8 years and that his wife has lived in another bedroom for their 18 year marriage and was cold to him but that they had a peaceful marriage. He was starved for love and was so wanting to find his soul mate. He had dreamed of finding woman who looked like me. I'm pet …

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Journaling keeps you grounded so you don’t fall down the rabbit hole into Wonderland – where you are ‘wondering’ if it is real or not

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "GoldenGirl.” I remember my first red flag. We were walking to his car on a first date after about three months of telephone conversation after we first met. I was so shocked by what “I” blurted out, that I ignored my own advice. As we were close to his car, I turned to him and said, for no specific reason, “If you ever lie to me I will leave you.” I immediately apologized and said, “I don't know where that came from! I have never said anything like that to someone before in my life.” It is five years later and I dearly wish that I had followed my own advice. I was 65 at the time, had not …

Journaling keeps you grounded so you don’t fall down the rabbit hole into Wonderland – where you are ‘wondering’ if it is real or notRead More