Lovefraud Blog

He was trying to kill me, and almost did: Part 3 of 3.

April 17, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Corrine." Read Part 1 and Part 2 When my ex returned to my hometown, his behavior was the worst ever, as I discussed previously. And while I lived around my family, he had distanced us from them. It was only after my oldest son had a nightmare that I was shot (he was 12 yrs old) and my daughter (just 3 yrs old) was afraid from nightmares and wanted to stay with me to sleep, (both episodes occurring within 24 hours) I sought an ex parte against him. I remember telling my children that they'd come to realize it was for the best. Again, it was my 8 yr old son who emphatically stated, "we already know it's …

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He was trying to kill me, and almost did: Part 2 of 3.

April 16, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Corrine." Read Part 1. We were working together, but would come home to an environment that continued to whittle away at me. He would leave on the weekends or whenever something happened to a community member. He ignored me physically and emotionally, even if he brought me with him on weekends away. We would stay in his parents' home. He would go out and leave me there, alone. (His parents would take my son into their bedroom and close the door during this time.) I wasted away spiritually and physically. Eventually, my father came over to ask what was happening. He (anyone really) could easily see me …

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He was trying to kill me, and almost did: Part 1 of 3

April 15, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 6 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Corrine." I'd like to preface my story by describing my childhood. I led a charmed existence. I was smart and idealistic. I chose the field of medicine, despite my passion for writing, because I wanted to see humanity on its most fundamental level. My parents are hard working, and have built an empire from the ground up. As a young woman, I never would have imagined I'd become a victim to domestic violence. Nor did I dream I'd ever divorce. And it didn't happen overnight. There were layers upon layers of abuse that came in many forms, starting as attacks to my self-esteem. When I finally looked up …

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Research links stress and a bad relationship to high blood pressure

April 14, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Research conducted by the University of Michigan links stress, negative relationship quality and high blood pressure in older married couples. Findings: Husbands had higher blood pressure when their wives reported greater stress. Husbands who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their wives reported lower stress. Wives who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their husbands reported greater stress. The researchers speculated that these findings were due to the fact that husbands relied on their wives for support, whereas wives had a broader support network. According to the paper, "When both partners reported higher levels of negative relationship qu …

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How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?

April 13, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 50 Comments

Most of you who come to Lovefraud are here because you suspect, or have concluded, that your partner is a sociopath. You are shocked, traumatized, betrayed, disappointed, angry. You may know, on an intellectual level, that you need to end the relationship, but you may find it hard to take the steps to do it. Or, you have already ended the relationship and are working to maintain No Contact with the individual, even as he or she pleads, cries or threatens, trying to draw you back into the web. Whatever your circumstances, you feel terrible. Your emotions range from grief to sadness to disappointment to fear to anger to hatred. Internally, you're a churning hot mess, and you want an answer …

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Fraud prevention tips and checklists

April 12, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Marie from Elderimpact.org is appalled by all the fraudulent activity in society, and is on a mission to fight it. "I've been moved to action after a family member was taken advantage of by a scammer in Las Vegas, who banked on her love and dedication to her family and convinced her to wire him thousands of dollars before vanishing without a trace," Marie says to Lovefraud. "I can't help but think that if we had taken steps to alert her to such scams — how to recognize them, how to be effectively cautious with her information, etc. — this could have been prevented." Here's Marie's list of websites with important information for preventing fraud. Take a look and share the links with eve …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Am I a victim of a psychopath?

April 10, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 70 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman from India whom we'll call "Nisa." I had a relationship with a man in the last year. He was in his separation at that time. I gradually fall for him. He told me about his wife and said that she cheated him in a very bad way by involving with another guy and she is not normal, has dual personality disorder. I felt the pain of this person in my heart and gradually became attached to him. As the day passes I started loving him. He said he loves me a lot. 'I fell as a boyfriend, I fell as a husband for you,' this was his language. Till one and a half months things were going good, but after that he became very possessive. He …

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Why I wrote ‘The One That Got Away’

April 8, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 8 Comments

By Brigitte Knowles It was 2011, a good year. I made $235,000.00 in my business that year and was at the top of my game. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend in Delray Beach, Florida. My life was only about work and I did not realize that I was out of balance. I had not gone out to a club for years and at 55, I was not a frequent dater, celibate for 5 years. I was ripe for the picking. I did not know that there were Financial Predators in this world. I was targeted by an Italian man who professed true love and wanted to do real estate business with me. He asked for down payments to buy distressed housing in West Palm Beach. We visited several with two real estate agents, mine and his. …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I confronted him with what I learned, and was told I was a psychopath

April 5, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 15 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "CatieJane." I just finished reading a book about narcissists, written by a woman that in the book mentioned this site. I have now for several days, considered whether I should write here - and the reason I have doubts. Is that I still have doubts about whether it really is my ex or me that is "crazy" ”¦ I do not live in an English speaking country, I come from Denmark. So if I dont write proper English, I apologize in advance. My story ”¦ For 8 years I have been with my ex. 8 years that has been crazy. When I met him 8 years ago, he was this wonderful, loving, caring man. (Had never seen a man be so …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: With the sociopath, nothing made sense

April 3, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 28 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader who posts as "Remembertoforget." We met on Facebook, because we had mutual friends/acquaintances. I would see him comment on girls' posts. Funny because I deleted him thinking, I don't really know him. Why have him on here. He sooner or later re-friended me. ”¨I almost dodged a bullet. Perhaps my subconscience was one step ahead. I was depressed when I met him. Two friends had just passed away and I left my long-term boyfriend and was staying at my mom's. He would post stuff that attracted me, and one day I randomly messaged him. I never do that. SAD STORY: He had been upset because his children's mother had left hi …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”