How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Boston Marathon bombing survivor writes in-your-face letter to Tsarnaev

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Rebekah Gregory was standing at the Boston Marathon finish line on April 15, 2013 when one of two pressure-cooker bombs exploded. Three people died. Rebekah was severely injured, and eventually had part of her leg amputated. Rebekah testified at the first day of the trial for accused bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. The defendant's attorney admitted that Tsarnaev did it, but plans to argue that he was influenced by his brother, who later died in a shoot out. After testifying, Rebekah posted a letter on her Facebook page. She said, in part: TODAY ”¦ I looked at you right in the face ”¦ and realized I wasn't afraid anymore. And today I realized that sitting across from you was somehow the crazy kind o …

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Abusers are hiding behind S&M

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernadette." In early 2012, I met a self-described strong alpha male on a dating site. His background was very impressive a vice president at a large IT firm, author, beautiful home, appeared educated, wonderful sense of humor. He would draw you in, he was what I thought I was looking for, what I thought I needed. Our early phone conversations would last for hours and the text messaging was never ending. He was a protector, he would always be a gentleman, keep me safe, what girl would not want that. I fell for him, it seemed like love. What I thought was the best day of my life, became my hell. My …

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CNN reporter calls ISIS a ‘sociopathic death cult’

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Yesterday WNYC public radio host Brian Lehrer Show interviewed CNN's international correspondent Christiane Amanpour. They talked about the phenomenon of people from Europe and North America traveling to the Middle East to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) as jihadis. Amanpour described "Jihadi John," the British man who beheaded several Western journalists, recently identified as Mohammed Emwazi, a Kuwaiti-born Londoner, as a "psychopath." She also called the ISIS movement a "sociopathic death cult." Listen to the interview. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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He made it his mission to prove I’m worthless

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Octavia." I believe now that I was married to a sociopath. I was married 16 years and lived with him for 4 years. I became pregnant, had the baby and didn't marry until the baby was 9 months old. I had a sick feeling but went ahead with the marriage. The "put-downs" were subtle in the beginning. I was made to feel like I was a "lesser" person ”¦ the mocking, contempt, control were always there. When I challenged him, he immediately denied his actions ”¦ he was only kidding. I never had any decision making authority ”¦ it was always "pretend" equality/partnership. It took me years to realize his actions …

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How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following advice from a reader. By R. Brooks If you are like myself and have dealt (or are dealing) with a sociopath in court, you are fully aware of how difficult and exhausting it can be. These dealings are increasingly horrible when you are dealing with said person in a child custody hearing. I am here to tell you — YOU CAN BEAT THEM. However, to win takes commitment, consistency and most of all, patience. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you are dealing with this kind of individual, so if that is what you are expecting, it will never happen. I like the old saying, “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.” W …

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I tried for years to protect our children from their father, and the legal system did little to help

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Rhoda." My ex is an attorney and used his position to financially ruin me by targeting our children. I spent over $250,000 on legal fees, while he was legally allowed to represent himself, and even question me on the witness stand as both my ex and his own attorney. The legal system allowed him to continue to drag me to court for 7 years. I was awarded sole custody twice and he waited for the judge to retire, filed again, and this time was awarded joint custody and I had not done anything different or wrong. Our children have suffered the most. Our now 21-year-old daughter wants nothing to do with …

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EFT tapping can cure the emotional pain of your involvement with the sociopath

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[youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/pAclBdj20ZU] Today begins the 7th Annual Tapping World Summit. It's a free online event, and if you are still suffering, in any way, from your encounter with the sociopath, I strongly recommend that you check it out. Tapping, also called Emotional Freedom Technique, is a form of energy psychology. I believe this is the new frontier of psychology, although it is rooted in 5,000 years of Chinese acupressure practice. The therapy looks funny using your fingers, you tap precise points on your head, hands and torso while verbally making a statement about a stressful situation or a disturbing memory. After going through the tapping sequence a few times, the …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Successful No Contact against the sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." My problem is the same as many other whose lives have been sucked into that of a sociopath. I met mine about this time last year. My long-term relationship has broken down and I was feeling unhappy, lonely and vulnerable. He seemed like everything I could ever have wanted charming, funny, affectionate then loving and very sexy. He would send me loads of texts telling me how much he wanted me and then how much he loved me and that we were perfect together and amazing in bed and out. I left my home and got a flat so that I could be with him crazy I know but it seemed so right. My former …

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Why do some people take pleasure in cruelty?

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Delroy Paulhus, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Canada studies the dark side of human beings to define the different flavors of everyday evil. Paulhus has created a series of tests to identify people who have a "dark personality." He works to answer the question: Why do some people take pleasure in cruelty? Not just psychopaths and murderers — but school bullies, internet trolls and even apparently upstanding members of society such as politicians and policemen. Paulhus tends to focus on everyday evil rather than criminal or psychiatric cases. Others have called narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy the "Dark Triad," which is a triple whammy of na …

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I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gale." I was a widow for 5 years. After being married for 43 years, my husband died of cancer. I did not like being alone and therefore I was vulnerable, to say the least. I enjoyed being a wife & mother, and sharing, loving & caring for my family. I met my psycho on the internet, thru a dating web site. Had I trusted my intuition, I would have run. There were many red flags. I did not ignore, but was charmingly convinced I was not being fair, but judgmental. I considered myself to be the 3rd wife, but after several years of marriage, one of his daughters convinced me I was more like number …

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