How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Dealing with betrayal bonds

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Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Surviving betrayal and trauma By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I recently attended a workshop by Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of The Betrayal Bond. I was shocked by the denial of the psychological community regarding the trauma experienced by survivors of emotional and sexual trauma. I took my worn and used copy of The Betrayal Bond to Dr. Carnes for his signature. He signed …

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Appeasement–an impossible goal with psychopaths

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) The term appeasement is commonly understood to refer to a diplomatic policy aimed at avoiding war by making concessions to another power. Historian Paul Kennedy defines it as "the policy of settling international quarrels by admitting and satisfying grievances through rational negotiation and compromise, thereby avoiding the resort to an armed conflict which would be expensive, bloody, and possibly dangerous”¦ The word "appeasement" has been used as a synonym for weakness and even cowardice since the 1930s, and it is still used in that sense to denounce policies and behaviors that conflict with firm, often armed, action in international relations. From W …

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The Corporate Sociopath

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Today I've decided to tackle a different subject. Why? Because once again, just this week, I've been horrified by the sociopathic behaviour of a corporation towards one of my dearest friends. This friend of mine, I'll call him Jack, is a hugely talented, dedicated professional who has worked all his life in the people industry. He is a Managing Director, and has the most incredible people-skills. Teams who work with him — even those who may have been somewhat disparate before his arrival — will galvanize together and with him to deliver outstanding results. He is, in my opinion, a superstar who genuinely cares for people and who gives his all to his employers. He's always been that way. Oh — …

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BOOK REVIEW: The Psychopath Test (redux)

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Back in May and June, the media blitz for The Psychopath Test, by Jon Ronson, was in full swing. I finally got around to reading the book. Ronson is a British journalist who apparently specializes in writing about nut cases. He wrote The Men Who Stare at Goats, which was made into a movie starring George Clooney and Jeff Bridges. He has a BBC radio show that, according to the New York Times book review, is considered comedy. But he's famous, and people like him. I guess I wish that he'd used his clout and notoriety to do some good with this book. Its full title is The Psychopath Test—A journey through the madness industry. The title is accurate. The book is essentially a history of how …

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Comparing stockbrokers and psychopaths

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Dr. Robert Hare, the guru of psychopathy, has said that if he didn't study psychopaths in prison, he'd look for them at the stock exchange. Read about new research from Switzerland actually compares stockbrokers and psychopaths. Stockbrokers more competitive, willing to take risks than psychopaths: Study, on HuffingtonPost.com. …

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The sociopath takes what he wants

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The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what he wants, unconcerned with the impact of his behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines his essence more than this concise, factual description. He is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent. Sure, we've discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn't necessarily feel he has the “right” to what he's pursuing, or planning to take. Rather, he doesn't feel he needs the right. He just needs the want. Simply wanting what he wants, with or without the right to it, meets his …

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Healthy Friendships, Healthy Boundaries

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This is today's status for one of my friends on Facebook: “Let go of those who bring you down and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, and want the best for you” It's particularly apt for me at the moment, as the subject of what constitutes a healthy relationship has once again become something that is close to my heart. Last week, once again, I found myself re-evaluating the value of my friendships following a series of eye-opening realizations. Not just with one person, with a handful of people covering contrasting situations and differing levels of severity. Funny, don't you think, how sometimes the universe seems to conspire to make absolutely sure we get the poi …

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Rape by deception

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Lovefraud recently received an email from a woman in Israel. She says that she was involved with a man for almost two years, and had sexual relations with him. He promised that they would marry and have children. The guy seemed to have a wife, but he claimed it was a fake marriage to get a passport. Well, he was, in fact, married and leading a double life—a con man. The woman is trying to get him prosecuted for “rape by deception.” Yes, Israeli law includes the concept that consensual sex based on a false premise is rape. Here's the actual law: RAPE 345. (a) If a person had intercourse with a woman — (1) without her freely given consent; (2) with the woman's consent, which was ob …

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