Among the many worries parents like me have is "What will happen to my child if I die?" For that reason, I take no risks with my personal safety. I don't ride motorcycles, always wear my seat belt in the car, and do everything I can to stay safe. What I consider to be my worst nightmare happened to Trista Crews, mother of Miranda Wilkerson. Trista was married to registered sex offender Donald Coleman though Coleman's offence was impregnating Crews when she was 14. In the style of Mary Kay Letourneau he married the girl when he got out of prison and fathered two more children. The news hasn't said much about those two who are also now orphans because Trista died a month after her …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Her son is psychopathic, and she fears for her granddaughters
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader whom we'll call “Grandma.” She would appreciate any advice to help her deal with her son and granddaughters. My son is categorically a psychopathic personality. In my mind, I can remember the tendencies starting about his high school years. I wonder why nobody else recognized this. Now he is the 29 year old father of 2 small girls. The youngest child, 3-1/2 years old, is telling stories of her father hurting her vagina. She is in counseling and the counselor is the one who reported this to law enforcement and to DSS. (The counselor believes it to be true.) However, because of my husband and my involvement in the lives …
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“I won’t let you fall” Five Words And The Hand Of Friendship
First of all I would like to say a big hello to all of you here on Lovefraud. This site has been a huge help to me over the past two years. The two years since I discovered that my marriage to a man I had freely referred to as my soul mate had in actual fact been a decade of manipulation and deception at the hands of a man I now believe to be a sociopath. Reading experiences and stories from other people here on this site, I came to recognize that my situation was far from unique. I was both appalled and also relieved to find that I was not alone. That there are thousands of people (mainly women, like me) who have been duped and betrayed in the cruelest of ways. I have been working on …
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Introducing a new Lovefraud author, Mel Carnegie
“There are thousands if not millions of people out there who have been targeted by sociopaths and I intend to do all I can to help them!” That's what Mel (short for Melanie) Carnegie wrote when she first contacted me not long ago. She, like many of us, had unknowingly married a sociopath back in 1998. It's a classic sociopathic seduction story they met, he swept her off her feet, they exchanged vows six days later. “I had never felt so loved, so safe, so special,” she wrote. “Of course, I now know it was all a sham.” Mel and her husband started a business coaching company in the United Kingdom that's where she's from and attracted many blue chip clients. They prospered, with a beautiful …
Why we fall for romance scams
Salon.com just posted an article about online romance scams, Facebook status: In a scam relationship, by Tracy Clark-Flory. The scams run like this: Perp finds a target online. They communicate via email, text and sometimes phone. Perp proclaims undying love. Maybe perp sends flowers and stuffed teddy bears. Perp suddenly has a dire emergency and needs money. Target sends money, and keeps sending money until there's none left. Apparently, romance scams—known as “love fraud,” according to the article—are a growth industry. The story quoted a man named Rob who lost $14,000 to a woman he never met. He is now a volunteer for RomanceScams.org, which has counseled 50,000 people who …
What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopath
Editor's note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn't always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath. Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath. The New Living Bible translation: 12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He will not let me go
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Gloria.” She's from Australia, and “pokies” are slot machine parlors. She would like some advice. I am a lady that had both hips replaced, my back fused in 2 places, and my neck also fused in 2 places. I met my love fraud when going through a court case, on my hip. My son has a mental illness. Met him at the pokies. I thought I met a wonderful man, he helped me out with my son, totally looked after me through a hip op. Told me he would look after me even if I was in a wheel chair, and even be my carer. I met his family and his parents, got engaged, was on cloud 9. If I won my court case we would get mar …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why we try to understand the psychopath
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Who is the fool? By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide A normal empathic individual will do their utmost to understand a psychopath, especially if they have no idea the person is a psychopath or has a personality disorder in the first place. Throughout the ages most people have had a fascination with evil, so when we suddenly find ourselves coming across someone who ticks all the boxes when it comes to …
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Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burn
Much of the United States erupted in outrage at the news that Casey Anthony was acquitted of murder. Bloggers and citizens asked: What was wrong with the jury? Couldn't these 12 people see through her lies? Even if they had been sequestered for the trial, the media had been reporting her loose relationship with truth for years. Read Casey Anthony's top 10 alleged lies on Investigation Discovery. Lies, however, do not prove that Anthony committed murder. Even Wendy Murphy, the feminist lawyer who vociferously supports battered mothers and abused children, predicted that Casey Anthony would walk. Why? The prosecution did not have proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she committed the …
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Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist
A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It's an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com. Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason's ideas before—I don't agree with them. You can read it here: Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond …