How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Brain researcher puts his finger on the nature of psychopathy

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The journal Nature has an article on neurological research being done in the Netherlands on psychopaths' empathy or lack thereof. The researcher, Christian Keysers, is primarily interested in the neurology of empathy and so wants to compare regular folks with two groups characterised by problems with empathy: autistics and psychopaths. Do psychopaths cut off the emotional component of empathy when mirroring the other person's emotions begins, or fail to mirror the emotions of others completely? When identifying with the victim or the perpetrator, which areas of the brain are activated in those who are normally vs abnormally empathic? The article can be downloaded here. What interests me …

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The gift of fear: After the sociopath is gone.

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When I first got my life back after the sociopath was arrested, I was terrified of becoming angry. Anger to me was my father raging. Anger was the sociopath standing before me with fist raised, eyes blazing, teeth bared. Anger never stopped. Anger was forever. And so, I feared my anger. I had to learn that anger does end -- when I let it out -- safely and with feeling. One hot sunny day a couple of months after his arrest, a girlfriend, who had also come out of an abusive relationship, and I took 4 dozen eggs to the top of a cliff and threw them with all our might onto the rocks below. Before we hurled them we sat and drew pictures and words onto each egg -- pictures and words I had always …

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“Nothing says I love you like a Glock”

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I was going about the morning as usual, working on my next book, with CNN on in the background, when I heard what has to be the sociopathic quote of the year, "Nothing says I love you like a Glock." I have not shared much about my own experience with a sociopath, but one of the things I am most ashamed of is that I did not react more strongly to my former husband's preoccupation with guns. He did not personally own any gun, but he talked about them a great deal, and he was very persistent about the idea that I should learn how to shoot. He also wanted me to own a hand gun. I did take the NRA gun safety course and I learned how to shoot. I have to say, target practice was fun and I was good …

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Meet the new Lovefraud author: Stephen Appel, Ph.D.

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Psychopaths are not necessarily great liars. That's the premise of a series of articles Dr. Stephen Appel, the newest Lovefraud Blog author, has recently posted on his website, The Top Two Inches. "The Top Two Inches," in case you're wondering (as I was), refers to the head, but means the mind, brain and thinking. Dr. Steve's website is devoted to contemplating "the mysterious workings of the mind." In Myth: Psychopaths are great liars, Dr. Steve agrees that psychopaths are pathological liars. "They are pathological, they are chronic tellers of untruths, and this dishonesty is tied up with their pathology," he writes. But according to Dr. Steve, research shows the speech of a …

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A common verbal ploy of the psychopath

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This is my first post on the LoveFraud blog. It's a great pleasure to be part of this most worthwhile effort to teach people to recognise and avoid sociopaths. (Or psychopaths, as I prefer.) Over at my blog - the top two inches - I have been thinking and writing about something that psychopaths invariably do to deflect things away from themselves and onto others. Perhaps you've encountered it: the psychopath does something wrong, but the moment attention is drawn to this he (usually it's he) magically causes you to feel bad. Here are a few examples: 1. The wifebeater says: "Why are you making me do this!?" Consequently she may think: "It's true, I shouldn't do X [usually something …

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Should I warn the sociopath’s next victim?

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As many of us have painfully learned, before sociopaths dump one victim, they usually have already targeted another. In the following letter, a Lovefraud reader asked what she should do about the new victim: I am finally away from the sociopath, although he still continues to contact me from time to time demanding money. He has a new target—as always, a financially secure woman, vulnerable and he has "given her a shoulder to cry on." Her father just died, her mother has cancer and she stands to inherit some valuable land and she is already "hooked" thinking that he is "so caring" and "has been there for her and she for him." He has told her I left him took all his money, etc.—the same story …

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Truth and lies: After the sociopath is gone.

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Someone asked me the other day if there was anything anyone could have done that would have made a difference in what eventually happened when I was with the sociopath who is no longer in my life. Interesting question. Had I been forced into a program that made me aware of what was happening within me while I was with him, would you have gone down so far, they asked? Don't know. I do remember the craziness in my head while I was trying to justify his actions to myself, and pulling away from my friends as they tried to pull me into reality. We've talked a lot about how they felt so helpless watching me disappear before their eyes in my attempt to become invisible. They wanted …

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Inside the mind of a killer: What caused Hawkins to snap?

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Yesterday a 19 y/o man named Robert Hawkins entered the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska with an AK-47 assault rifle and killed eight people before killing himself. News commentators have been discussing what happened and several are discussing the question of whether he was depressed and taking antidepressants. I think people feel better blaming antidepressant medication for these incidents because it is too frightening to accept that there are so many sociopaths (with the potential for violence) living among us. Hawkins apparently had no arrest record prior to this event and was not known to be violent. At the time of the shooting he was living with the mother of a high school friend, …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: That was horrible, but the worst was yet to come

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Editor's note: How can one woman cope with cheating, abandonment, cruelty and worse? A Lovefraud reader has sent the following letter, and would appreciate your insight and advice. I was the perfect victim for the man who has fathered two of my children, having just gotten out of a relationship with a previous sociopath (power and control was that guy's motivation and he was cruel, vicious person behind closed doors). I was insecure, looking for a person with integrity and morals, and I still believed in the general goodness of mankind. The first sociopath hadn't smashed my general outlook on life, though, and I was rising to the challenges I faced. The second one has, though. He was the …

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Media profiles psychopaths without identifying them

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One con artist called himself Luc Sonnet. He claimed to be a fine artist who studied with Picasso and sold his paintings to wealthy international clients for as much as $250,000. The other con artist, Robert Freegard, claimed to be a British spy. He tracked international terrorists. Both of these con artists were profiled in the media on Sunday, December 2. The Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper began its story about Luc Sonnet, whose real name was Richard Grossman, on the front page. The story continued inside for three more full pages. Dateline, the investigative reporting television show produced by NBC News, told the story of Robert Freegard, a Brit who abducted an American woman …

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