How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victim

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …

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Another twist on love scams: Notices from the “Bureau of Customs”

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Lots of men and women in the Philippines look for foreign romantic partners — and end up getting scammed. Here's how it works: Scammer claims to be from Australia, the United Kingdom or the United States and pursues an online relationship with the target. Scammer claims to send a package of expensive gifts to the target, like laptops, smartphones or designer bags. A few days later, target receives an email, supposedly from the Bureau of Customs, informing him or her of taxes and duties that need to be paid. It comes complete with official-looking documents. Target sends money to the designated bank account, which, of course, belongs to the scammer. Money is gone. BoC caut …

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After involvement with a sociopath–one breath at a time may be all that’s possible

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 53C:  The Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit Our divorce was mediated at record pace, not even nine months after Paul left. To get the emotional abuse to stop and to get on with my life, I made …

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Recovery from the sociopath — learning to count what truly matters

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“Was it the sex?” a new member asked me at our weekly meeting of Parents of Sexually Abused Children. “Is that why you stayed with your user for 14 years?” Three faces swung to me, including the lead social worker of our small assembly, a tall, serious senior woman who encouraged us to ask and answer questions. Aidan didn’t smile a whole lot, but over time, I came to respect her genuine sincerity and tremendous breadth of knowledge. “You mean, knowingly trade family wellbeing for my sexual pleasure?” I asked, disheartened at a question that I found hurtful. “No, the truth is that my husband showed no interest in me. He called me 'Mum' despite my frequent requests that he use my name. I …

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Western Australian police quit saving people from romance scams

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Project Sunbird, a joint operation between the Western Australian police and Consumer Protection departments, had been identifying 53 new romance scam victims a month by analyzing financial data. They were sending money to con artists in Nigeria, Sierra Leone, Ghana, togo and Benin. According to PerthNow.com.au, 75% of the victims stopped sending money after receiving a warning letter from Consumer Protection. Of those that persisted, 40% stopped after receiving a second letter. But the new Western Australia police commissioner, Chris Dawson, killed the project because of "resource priorities." WA Police handball romance scam investigations, on PerthNow.com.au. …

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Harvey Weinstein’s psychopathic behavior

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Like much of America, I've been watching the Harvey Weinstein scandal unfold, appalled but not surprised. More than 40 women have now accused the famous and powerful movie producer, whose films have won 81 Oscars, of sexual harassment and even rape. The Weinstein Company, which he co-founded, fired him. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences threw him out. The Los Angeles police have opened an investigation. Still, Hollywood has always been about starlets who want to make it big and powerful men who took advantage of them — that's why everyone knows about the "casting couch." So I wondered — was Weinstein just a prolific user of the couch, or was he disordered? The answer came in …

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Sociopaths thrive on exerting control and inflicting emotional pain

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 53:  The Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit With my mind solving puzzles that I should have pieced together years earlier, I fixated on two final pieces that had never made sense. If Paul had set me …

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After the Sociopath, Find the Gift in Your Pain

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Editor's note: This article refers to spiritual concepts. For more information, read Lovefraud's statement on spiritual recovery. By Waleuska Lazo  So here I was grieving, crying and feeling sorry for myself. I had stayed in a situation that was not healthy for my life. Yet I stayed because avoiding that pain was a stronger emotion than facing it. The truth is I was too scared to feel pain. I was too scared to feel the absence of not having ‘that someone’ next to me. What I did not realize was that I was already facing the pain that came as a daily dose of poison. At first, you are unaware of it. It comes camouflaged with little lies and lack of affection. The doses increased with indi …

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9 Questions to help you discern if your caring, helpful partner is faking it

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She makes you drinks and home-cooked meals. He cuts your lawn and fixes your car. Your new romantic interest just can't seem to do enough for you. You never felt so cared for. It must be love! Maybe it is. Or maybe it's a sociopath who is trying to soften you up for later exploitation. I've often written on Lovefraud that sociopaths do not have the ability to be caregivers. Many readers find this confusing — the sociopath they know was always doing things for them. So let me explain. First, some background. Three components of romantic love The core of sociopathic personality disorders is an inability to love. What, exactly does this mean? Scientists have determined that r …

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What criminal profiler John Kelly says Stephen Paddock’s motive was in the Las Vegas shooting

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By John Kelly, Profiler STALK INC. Psychological Autopsy The first thing to do when looking at a complicated mental problem is to examine and eliminate any physical problems. Before getting into the psychological and pharmacological dynamics of a persons murderous behavior, one needs to eliminate any physical precursors to such behavior.  Paddock's autopsy should determine any brain abnormalities such as tumors or cancer. We have seen this play a role in a similar mass murder, Charles Whitman, the Texas Tower Sniper, who shot 16 people from a high vantage point in 1966. Read: Charles Whitman, on Wikipedia.org Paddock's autopsy did not reveal any brain abnormalities. After eliminating …

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