When I talk to people who have had their hearts broken into a million pieces by a sociopath, a question that I'm frequently asked is, "How long does it take to recover?" I wish there were an easy answer to the question, but there isn't. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections — to our very lives. What I can say is that recovery is certainly possible, but it will probably take longer than a typical breakup. Not breakup — betrayal Why is recovery from a sociopath so difficult? Because this is NOT a typical breakup — it is a profound betrayal. When normal people enter into a romantic relationship, it's becau …
Grateful for the truth on Thanksgiving
I remember the last Thanksgiving holiday with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. We were fighting. He kept telling me money would come in from his business venture, and it wasn't happening. As we drove to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner, I was still steaming. The thought popped into my head, "All I want is my money back, and then I'll get a divorce." I surprised myself. It was the first time I thought about divorce. I never did get my money back. In fact, with all that was taken from me, I had to declare bankruptcy. Still, on this Thanksgiving Day 19 years later, I have much to be grateful for. I am grateful to know the truth. My ex-husband is a sociopath, …
Overcoming the residual fear from sociopathic abuse — two steps forward, one step back
By Eleanor Cowan One bitterly cold winter’s morning at the Vendome metro in Montreal, I hopped a bus that would take me to a lecture on "Attentiveness and Developing Awareness" — and got a complete lesson well before I arrived at the class. The driver of the vehicle, an unsmiling muscled-bound individual, closely examined my transfer for the minute expiry hour stamped upon it. With a curt nod, I was permitted to take my seat. About two minutes later, the driver revved up the ignition for departure, but not before an elderly lady rapped on the glass door, asking for entry. The driver looked down at her, examined his watch for the ten seconds it would have taken to open the door and adm …
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5 stages of endurance to help you recover from the sociopath
Sociopaths do terrible things to us. I hear so many painful stories from Lovefraud readers — perhaps you have a similar experience: You may have had your heart shattered into a million pieces You may have lost your home, your job and all your money You may have suffered physical assault, illness, and emotional or psychological breakdown You who have lost your children, because the sociopaths got custody, poisoned the kids' minds, or both You may who have lost years of your life, time that can never be replaced Sometimes when I hear these stories, my heart just breaks. Because sometimes, as much as I would like to offer solutions, the sociopaths have enacted such total d …
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Lovefraud webinar preview – The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner
Are you starting to think that you should get out of your relationship — but you have no idea how to begin extricating yourself? If so, this course, presented by Dr. Amber Ault, takes you, step-by-step, through the process of gathering support for your escape to making your move — and dealing with the chaos that may follow. About this course You're not happy with your intimate relationship — you're feeling misunderstood, exploited, manipulated and devalued. But it's complicated — finances, kids, social pressures, not to mention your own confusion. How do you sort out what to do? The Five Step Exit course offers you a structured model to help you decide whether to hang in or get out. …
After getting rid of one sociopath, another sociopath shows up
I've heard from multiple Lovefraud readers over the years who were annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives. The readers asked: What is going on? Why can't they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet? The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation. Millions of sociopaths These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we're living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into t …
After getting rid of one sociopath, another sociopath shows upRead More
Sociopaths enjoy the game of destroying others–enabled by the courts, they find ways to keep the game alive
Every week, a chapter of my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 55: Paul’s Way Between his father’s ongoing behavior, the loss of Ella when Daniel needed her most, his sister leaving to live with Paul and Linda, and my work to get our house staged and so …
My uncle is a sociopath — how do I protect our family?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call, "Trisha17." My uncle (mother’s side) is a sociopath. I’ve known since my first memory of him as a child, I just saw it in his mannerisms, heard it in his voice, saw it in his lack of genuine care for others. I just instinctually knew. I have always found him to be totally fake. My father is a highly intelligent and relatively benign grandiose narcissist. I have narcissistic traits but am definitely an empath. I have clued in to sociopaths and have been taken aback that no one else sees it. I remember when my grandma was having a serious surgery he went to get a haircut while she was under the kni …
My uncle is a sociopath — how do I protect our family?Read More
Devin Kelley, Texas church shooter, exhibited a pattern of psychopathic behavior, but no one saw the whole picture
The stories coming out of the massacre in the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, are horrific and heartbreaking. The shooter, Devin Patrick Kelley, 26, walked into the church dressed in combat gear and killed congregants in the pews. One survivor reported that Kelley became enraged that children were scared, and shot them multiple times. Kelley executed 26 people that day, including nine children. Eight members of one extended family were killed. Twenty more churchgoers were injured. Authorities release IDs of Texas church victims, on ABCnews.go.com Afterwards, of course, everyone is asking, “How did this happen?” “Were there any warning signs?” The answer is YES! There …
Mandy Friedman, MS LPC NCC: The True Sources of Trauma
Editor's note: Lovefraud is pleased to introduce a new therapist in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide, Mandy Friedman, MS, LPC, NCC. Mandy is located in Cincinnati, Ohio, and specializes in helping survivors of toxic and exploitative personalities. By Mandy Friedman, MS, LPC, NCC My interest in learning about exploitative personalities began as I was trying to make sense of experiences I was having in my personal life. Then, as a mental health counselor, I began connecting dots in therapy sessions as clients worked to overcome painful experiences from their past. A large percentage of clients come to therapy to address anxiety, depression, unhealthy behaviors, difficulty with …
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