How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Despite the ocean between us, he controlled my every move

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Larissa." I met him while I was traveling through India. We crossed paths twice within an hour and chatted at the seaside cafe where I had ordered a meal. He was very attractive, striking even - but I was not at all consciously interested in a romance with this guy. I had encountered quite a lot of lechery as a woman traveling alone, although he seemed different. Gentle. Interesting. He seemed very savvy and initially, even slightly aloof to the point of seeming guarded around me. Polar opposite to what I had been experiencing! He asked what my plans were and from that point, to cut a very long story short, he hijacked …

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He lied up until the last minute of our relationship

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  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." Met online. He was a perfect gentleman. We had several dates until he started talking about mind, body and spirit (which meant sex to him) and I mentioned I do not have sex just to be having sex. That night he says let's be boyfriend and girlfriend. So we did become BF and GF. I assumed (stupid me) that he would take his dating profile down since now in a committed relationship. I took mine down and never looked again, until one day my GF called me and told me that she was just matched (online dating site) with him. AND that he was currently online searching. Of, course I called him …

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The Truth Is Always in Plain Sight

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By Waleuska Lazo I thought I had found my Prince Charming. I thought I had found the one to share the rest of my life with. Four years later I have nothing to show, but a bleeding heart and a broken fairy tale. Looking back, I can see, the red flags were in plain sight. Yet, I chose to ignore them. I hope that my story can help you open your eyes, and see the warnings so you do not make the mistakes I made. I do not want my story to come across as bitter. I am not. I have made peace with the fact that I am responsible for my situation. My only goal is to share my truth. I realize my outreach can make me look naive and desperate. And you know what? I’m OK with that. My hope is that sharing …

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My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thing

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a man who posts under the name of "outvth3fog." I thought my past 12 years with my 10 year old son's mother was bad. Well, anyone's worst nightmare became reality in March of 2016. Rewind to summer 2015, to when I had that gut feeling that I was being wronged by her. I didn't understand things then the way I do now, but she would accuse me of having affairs without having anything to make her think that. It made me suspicious of her, especially when she would demand my phone after getting out of work, which I willing gave it to her. Here we were again the same process, that I thought was over. After so many lies and cheating I fell in love …

My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thingRead More

She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissist

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Georgia." My story is three years in a same-gender relationship that began with off-the-charts chemistry. At 6 months the love bombing stopped and things slowly changed. In my personal experience there is a 'lesbian disadvantage' in the narc world because both these relationships often contain 4 of the most common traits; (a) lesbian bed-death at 3-6 months (same as the end of the love bombing), (b) self centered in nature, (c) moves the relationship to intimacy very quickly. (d) promiscuous behaviour & cheating. There were red flags that I saw and ignored which puzzled me because I had no …

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No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sex

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Two Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped. Read the letters here: I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all …

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How do I recover from a manipulative friendship?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Lois." I have no one to turn to, as I have never spoken to anyone regarding my friendship with the narcissist apart from the narc, which suited him perfectly. This friendship was in person but I live in a different city so it was mostly on the phone and a few face to face meetings during the year. However, I was also dropped and put in the box as needed, and picked up as soon as he would leave his families' or friends' home and work. And I had to be there when he was ready to make contact. However, the same did not apply to him. Many times when I needed to lean on him he was not contactable. I have gone …

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Before I felt angry, now I feel sad – I need advice

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Editor's notes: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "Kaki Pants." I just came out of a relationship, a year long relationship, which I think the guy might be a psychopath after telling the whole story to my male friends, female friends never would have thought he could be a psycho btw. Men and women think very differently. So I met this guy a year ago, last April through an online dating app. We met for several times, dinners, lunches, coffees, I took it slow, cuz I didn't want to get myself attached too soon before knowing who this guy really is. Obviously, I didn't take it slow enough in the end. We got together; everything seems well. He runs a startup …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Read Part 1. His home loan Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative. To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Hi Donna, I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress. My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in …

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)Read More