How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sociopath would always make me think I did something wrong

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Felicia." I was separated from husband and joined a personal training center. The trainer through months of me training with him convinced me to help him open a restaurant. I worked long hours for no pay. He would tell me, I'll make you a partner, just prove to me you can run the restaurant. This went on for a year. I divorced and after the divorce he started to tell me I was the best thing that happened to the restaureant, that I would start to make a lot of money. He then started to ask me to go places with him that pertained to the business. Then he would tell me I was beautiful and we eventually started …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Pushed, and then abandoned, by a controlling older brother

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who lives in Greece and Cyprus. We'll call her "Evangelina." My brother is 14 years older. He took charge of my life's choices (where to live as a child, what to study as young person applying for university), and I blindly followed, as I fully trusted him. He was my brother after all ”¦ He then turned nasty every single time I did not fulfill his expectations. He even lied and said often that a choice that was made by him, was only mine. Like studying archaeological conservation when I knew I am weak in sciences. But he insisted it's for my interest not to study what I want and I'm inclined toward (I'm good with arts so I wa …

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He controlled my moves and thoughts with diabolical and methodical precision

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ingrid." I met my Sociopath over 10 years ago and just like in all the books and blogs I have read as of late fell hard and fast for what I thought was honesty as he would look me right in the eyes and tell me everything any women wants to hear ”¦ you know how beautiful I was, how he wishes he would have met me in his twenties, how we are so much alike, blah, blah, blah. Unbeknown to me he was gathering all the information he would need later to control my every move and thought and that he did with DIABOLICAL AND METHODICAL precision and I being the honest and open hearted person I am I believed him. My Sociopath used and …

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All of his abuse was secret

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Marla Marie.” Following 9/11, I moved back home and within just three years married my ex-husband. I think the trauma of 9/11 inspired me to hurry up and get a life, and in doing so I overlooked some red flags. I was also naive in love matters. My ex-husband is the hallmark charming, handsome nomad. Although even prior to marriage not all of his stories "checked out" it immediately escalated once we were married. He was using drugs, had a criminal record and two prior marriages. He also had a child he never knew/saw. We were married and divorced within 2 years. All of his abuse was secret. He would berate me …

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I was supposed to give and give, but was not allowed to ask for anything

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I have spent the last 7.5 years in a relationship with a sociopath. I gave more than I had to give mentally, emotionally and financially. He barely worked in that time. He lied, cheated and did his best to convince me I was crazy. He would steal and swear on his children he would never do that to me. The last two years of the relationship I would often tell him he was a sociopath, but it wasn't until the last six months that I truly started researching the disorder and everything I read on the topic was him to a T! It was as if someone sat back documenting his behaviors, then put them all together to create this disorder. The charm, false sense of entitlement, pathological lying, parasitic …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost my marriage, my children, my job and my home

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who calls herself “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” My story began in high school where we started dating. We were both at the end of our junior year and began dating as summer was beginning. It started off fantastic; I mean that's why I stayed to get back those first few weeks of our relationship. Then the jealously started, the manipulations, the isolation: it was too much for me to take and begin my college years. So I told him we were done; of course this was after he "tried to commit suicide" in front of me by taking a handful of aspirin; he pinned me down in my car in the dorm parking lot and I screamed to the point that someone ca …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The ride on the sociocrazytrain was painful, but I don’t regret it

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call Roseann. I just wanted to thank you for developing the Lovefraud site, sharing your experience and writing your books. I have read both. The books and your site have helped me tremendously, not only initially when I needed to understand what was happening, during the no contact time and even now, when he's long gone. It helps me to remember who I was back then and to see whom I am now and I'm pleased with my progress and the choices I made. Cutting contact All in all, I spent the better part of 10 years dealing with my on and off relationship/friendship with my spath and THE best thing I did was cut …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Breaking free of the controlling, sociopathic girlfriend

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who posts as “seekeroflight.” I feel this overwhelming urge to reach out to your website, and I am not quite sure exactly why. I'm working my way through reading pretty much your whole website, or at least the articles which strike my eye as I go through it. It is one of very few things in my life right now that helps me to feel a little less alone. I told my life partner (of almost 7 1/2 years) that I was done with the relationship in January of this year. I gave her pretty much no warning just sat down one evening and told her I thought we should break up. She claims she saw it coming, but I think that's a lie. Judging by ho …

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26 abusive behaviors from a female narcissistic sociopath

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who calls himself “Fly” posted the following comment on August 7, 2015. It is a great description of dysfunctional behavior in a woman, so it is reproduced here in order to help others. Fly received responses responses to his email from the woman, which are reproduced below. He read the emails but did not respond I am a 60 year old male who was living with a 50 year old female for three years. I had known her for two years before. I wrote a letter to my Ex-girlfriend a few days after I left. I had said to myself enough is enough after one of her quick insulting outbursts. I packed my belongings, threw them in the car and just walked out of the house never to …

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Sociopathic husband isolates her in the wilderness and lives with two wives at once

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call “Esther.” Names have been changed. Thirteen years ago I met Frank on Match.com. After just a few dates he said we were soul mates. He moved in quickly and insisted that I move away from my identical twin and he rented an apartment for us to share. I never saw my twin again. He purposely kept me from her, my family and moved me to a secluded home up in a one road only access to a national forest. I lived with no running water. No Internet. No long distance phone. No cable. To heat my home I had to chop wood or save money to buy trees that were wet and had to wait for them to dry out before I could burn them. I …

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