Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman who we'll call “Trista.” She tells her story of being dismissed with a shrug. I met the man who has been my husband for 30 years in a language school. He was serious, but could be funny, a bit shy, but also had a way with words. He had beautiful eyes and lots of girls were in love with him. I was no exception, but it was me he chose to go out with. The relationship soon took off and we were a pair. Those first days were good; I had no idea I was dealing with a sociopath. When I took him to meet my mother, however, when things were very serious between us, she said that she thought he needed some “help.” I dismissed it. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The most important one-liner you will ever hear
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Genevieve79.” She explains the Crazymaking One-Liner. I've reached the age of 30 having been on the receiving end of a number of personality disordered individuals, mostly female but the odd male too. I spent (wasted?!) my twenties ducking and diving these people, even changing career direction several times, because I didn't know how else to deal with them. As I approach my 31st birthday I think I have finally begun to crack it! These people are actually very predictable if we know how to spot them early on. An experience with yet another one on a professional forum this wee …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How I got away from the sociopath
Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a reader who we'll call “Lia.” She shares her experience of how she got away from the sociopath. For years I felt like my life was thrown in a blender and chopped up in little pieces and those pieces included my heart, my career, my health, my sanity, my friends and my family. My first encounter with the sociopath was at NYU medical center's ER, while my 3-year-old son was being looked at for a bump in the head. This young intern doctor took a lot of interest in me and in my son's well being. After recently having ended my marriage, it felt good that a guy would become so enraptured by me. At the time I was legally separated from my …
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Terrorized by two sociopathic female neighbors
I've had two female sociopaths, narcissists, or psychopaths — whichever they are, coming after me for almost 18 months. They are simply other tenants in my apartment building and I am their "chosen one." We were never friends, in fact other than the abuse, they don't know me and vice versa. It's been absolute mental torture to endure. They have slandered me, have had me ostracized here, lied about me, made countless police calls about me, tell others that I hurt dogs, rumor that I once "tried to strangle" a dog, that I stalk, follow, entrap, corner, harass, grab, and even was alleged to have "caused" one of them to have a fall from which she needed emergency back s …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Female sociopath shares her experience of growing up with one and using what she learned
Editor's note: Lovefraud has been contacted by a 27-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and depression. Reading some of your questions about female sociopaths, this woman offered to share her experience so that you may gain insight and protect yourselves. She will not be posting comments. This woman says her mother is narcissistic and there is a history of psychopathy on her father's side, although she doesn't know her father's family because her parents divorced when she was young. Personally, I do feel sorry for this young woman—which would probably annoy her. The cards were stacked against her from the day she was born. She is in therapy and on …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The dangers of friendship with a female predator
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as “Kerisee04.” How does a person know if they have engaged in a friendship with a female predator? So often it is the romantic relationships that are discussed, and usually about male sociopaths. First of all, it's important to note that if you are a male, to the female sociopath, you either a sexual target or a source of financial gain. In my experience with the female sociopath, in her mind, there is no man beyond her reach. She has sexual fantasies about all men she encounters and runs scenarios in her head to accomplish her goal. In my naive state of mind, I had no idea this particular female sociopath was …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lied to myself as I became close to him again
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Ravenless Tower.” She realizes, as she wrote, that "I lied to myself." I'm going to be as concise as I can here - but like most of you the story is long. I wanted to tell it so there is a frame of reference to my posts for anyone who cares. I also wanted to get it down in writing, and out of my head. My intent is not to complain or to place blame, so much as to identify the issues that have helped to shape my choices and brought my ultimately to this board for support. The point of being here, for me, is not to hate, not to blame, but to accept responsibility and own the things in my life that need to be ad …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Looking into the eyes of a con man
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as “Eclipse.” She wrote about her experience with a sociopathic con man. I met the P at the end of 2004. We both worked out at a local gym close to my home. I had been going through a divorce for about a year. I confided to him about my 19-year marriage, of abuse. We became friends for about six months. We then became involved and were falling for each other. He told me he was in a bad relationship, and that he was married, eight months into our relationship. He told me he was trapped and was trying to get a divorce. He told me how his wife was controlling and mentally abusive to him; he was denied any a …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Tangled in his twisted web
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader named “Krzyluv” who found herself in a sociopath's twisted web. I would like to start by saying that a concerned friend referred me to this website, and I must say that I never in a million years would think that there was anyone out there who was like me, or would ever believe what has happened to me and my children. The stories and blogs I have read have inspired so much strength and courage inside of this empty shell of a woman that I have become! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having such an inspiring website as this. It makes me think that if all these women can be that brave and do it, so can I. My story sta …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I wanted him to be the guy of my dreams, but he’s nothing but a fraud
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a reader who we'll call Loralei, who wrote about meeting the “guy of her dreams.” At the end of her e-mail, I'll comment on it. When I was young, I was emotionally and physically abused by my mother. She didn't give me any black eyes, but I did get slapped, my hair pulled, and it was clear that the world revolved around my mother. I lived in fear, and when I wasn't the target of her anger, I was ignored. Fast forward 40 years. I am a successful businesswoman, I live in a nice Chicago suburb, I have friends, I like to help people, and I was tired of not having a love life. For some goofy reason, I posted an ad on Cra …
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