How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Child of an undiagnosed sociopath

//  by //  46 Comments

Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, we'll call him Allen, tells his story of being the child of an undiagnosed sociopath. I know the story starts way before my time with my dad, so I can only tell you what I saw growing up and what I now see in hindsight. I think the biggest thing that I see in him is that he takes no personal responsibility for anything. Somewhere in his late 20's he “found God” — whatever that really means to him — and it was right around the time that my mom finally left him because of physical abuse that he denies to this day. He says that he never laid a hand on her and then when I remind him that I was there that day and saw everything he still denies it. He claims …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Child of an undiagnosed sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: It did not feel right, but I dismissed my discomfort

//  by //  280 Comments

  Editor's note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Greenfern." It is a classic story of sociopathic seduction. When I first met the S, I was very young, 22, and in a pretty bad spot. I come from a broken, abusive family and I have been pretty much on my own since 16. I was managing by putting myself through college, working full time, step by step. A year before I met the S, I was hit by a car and the recovery from that sent me into a depression and hardship. I had no family support or insurance, so I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and tried not falling behind. I felt alone and struggling, but managed. I feel like I was a strong young …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: It did not feel right, but I dismissed my discomfortRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Pulled in by the child in the sociopath

//  by //  208 Comments

By PressEject It seems so odd. I wasn't exactly in love with this person! But I was entirely caught up in his breath, his every sentence, his needs and desires. He charmed me into thinking it was so much more that we shared. I sensed early on he was not exactly mature in conducting a one-on-one relationship. But I assumed I could help guide him and show him how to trust and become closer. He came across as unique, at times humble and often very sweet to be with. I heard his "story" and understood how difficult it had been for him trying to feel close to others and I was honored he felt he could be close to me. The story, a true "pity ploy," pulled me in. But I didn't think twice. …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Pulled in by the child in the sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Listen to the gift of fear

//  by //  23 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who learned the hard way that she should pay attention to the Gift of Fear.  There was something odd about his intense gaze. Even though I felt funny about the way he stared at me the first time we met, I ignored my discomfort. I met my former boyfriend after I had been attending services at a Unitarian Universalist Church for several weeks. We engaged in small talk for a few minutes then swapped numbers. Even though I felt somewhat uncomfortable, I ignored my gut feeling and gave him my number anyway. I was very needy and desperate for friendship. We went out to lunch after the services. Even …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Listen to the gift of fearRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath

//  by //  46 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader about his ex-wife, a sociopath. I believe my soon to be ex-wife is a sociopath (Sp). I was the recent victim of an evil plot to move my family to Washington from Texas, but two and a half months before the big move, with my house sold, I caught her, the Sp, in Washington with another guy looking for property, through a series of intercepted emails. This was one of two trips the Sp had taken, lying about the trip, saying she was going on a job interview. After I confronted her about the infidelity, I filed for divorce and took it upon myself to avoid any further confrontation with the Sp. I vacated the house and set up a …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Psychopathic boss —pure malignant evil

//  by //  2 Comments

Editor’s note: The following letter was sent by a reader to Lovefraud about his psychopathic boss. It is published with the permission of the author. I was foolish enough to work as a commission salesperson for a psychopath business owner. One difficult lesson I learned was that once a psychopathic boss has your pay — watch out! Especially for commission sales. Since they just might — just want — to keep your money for themselves. Or milk out the deal. Then show you who's boss. This particular psychopath hooked me by holding onto my pay. Claiming cash-flow problems. Then he said I had to keep working for him. Or else he would keep my back-pay for himself. Then finally... he paid me a …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Psychopathic boss —pure malignant evilRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths can fool anyone

//  by //  64 Comments

Editor's note: Sociopaths can fool anyone — even former fraud investigators. Here's what a Lovefraud reader says about his experience. I am a banking attorney, now in the private sector, but formerly conducting criminal bank fraud investigations when I worked for the government. A friend of mine who is a psychiatrist says I am one of the few people he's ever met who can size up a person accurately within 10 seconds. However, I am here to tell you from an experience I've been going through the last week or so that no matter how intuitive or streetsmart a person is, sociopaths can fool anyone. They are a breed unto themselves. I am a gay man and was introduced to my sociopath back in F …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths can fool anyoneRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopath

//  by //  30 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader sent the following entry from her journal. "About 2 1/2 months since the sociopath revealed himself for what he was, I'm now assessing how I made myself so vulnerable in the first place," she wrote. "Shockingly I realize I likely still am... still am as vulnerable... until I do my next needed self-work: truly healing my relationship with myself. Deeply." The following piece represents a step in her healing. I was thinking about whether I'd ever be able to reclaim my memories, once sweet, once preciously loving, of the past two years — ever since the sociopath revealed himself for the liar and deceiver that he is via his cruel d …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopathRead More

A classic Lovefraud story: I married a sociopath

//  by //  1 Comment

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Charlotte23.” She was married to a man for 19 years. She was devastated to learn that she married a sociopath. Of course, I had no idea at the time. I married Tom in 2003. I had been married previously, for 15 years, and got divorced after finding out that my then-husband was cheating on me with someone he met at work. Where did he work? The World Trade Center. He was killed on 9/11/2001. Tom came along right about that same time. I had just bought a lovely home in a beautiful neighborhood for myself and my two children. We dated for a year before getting engaged; it was another year after that before we g …

A classic Lovefraud story: I married a sociopathRead More

A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic ex

//  by //  Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Allison23. She reveals how her ex-husband got her thrown into the psych ward — twice. The sociopath in my life “saved” me from my abusive mother and got me out of the trailer park. I eventually earned 4 degrees, one of which was an MD. Looking back, the relationship was always controlling, but he made me believe that he was doing what he did because he needed to “mold” me into the perfect woman because my parents “didn’t do a good job”. As soon as I started making more money than him, his violence escalated and I finally got the courage to leave him in the middle of the night. Little did I know this would be …

A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic exRead More