Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter about a cheating sociopathic fiancé from a reader whom we'll call, "Mandy20." I met my ex-fiancé in 2017 at work. He was attractive and charming. I found out he was engaged and although a co-worker thought he was flirting (he asked me if I had ever been to the Melting Pot) I didn’t pursue anything at that time. I ran into him at work after Christmas and when I asked about his holiday he said his fiancé gave him his ring back. We then connected on Facebook and started “talking” via Messenger (first red flag!) I told him I had recently broken up with someone too and suggested we go to the Melting Pot to commiserate. He then said he th …
Sociopath ignores his child, the ‘dirty little secret’
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Abigail20," describes how she met a man, had a child with him, and now the sociopath ignores his child. I met the sociopath at a birthday party in 2004, after exchanging numbers and a few dates I realised I only liked him as a friend, he tried to get tactile very early on but I rejected his advances, truth is my feelings lay elsewhere and regrettably I let the sociopath know this yet still he persisted, he still wanted to be around me, he knew exactly what he was doing and what his motives were. During the initial stages we were hanging out together as friends, so I thought, I learned that he was living as a tenant with a former …
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Comparing relationships with sociopaths and borderlines
UPDATED FOR 2020 — Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader Victimcindy about relationships with sociopaths and borderlines. Donna Andersen responds after the letter. My first relationship, after my 18-year marriage to a sociopath, was with a borderline personality disordered (BPD) man. Do you find this common, as the disordered traits are opposite in some areas? We think we are getting something new and healthy. Comparing relationships with sociopaths and borderlines Spath vs BPD: sex My spath-ex withheld sex as power. The borderline was highly sexual. My spath-ex was charming, but lacked empathy and was emotionally unavailable. He also abused substances, w …
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Not listening to intuition costs her 10 years
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader, whom we'll call Barb20, about the price of not listening to intuition. I was in a relationship with a sociopath for 10 years on and off. Two of those married to him. I am currently separated from him and living in another state. I originally met him online and we started dating. I remember the first few dates I had a little person inside telling me I was too good for him but quickly squashed that because it seemed so conceited. He came from a low income family, didn’t graduate high school and drove a truck for a living. I come from a middle class family, I’m a college graduate and had a good career. Knowing what I k …
Trying to protect a child from parental alienation
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Suzanne20," about her quest to protect a child from parental alienation. The story of my 4-year long battle for my granddaughter and my son. My then 19 year old son Robert (not his true name) had ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) in 2000 as a result of sporting accident. He came out of it well, as he was highly intelligent before the injury. Robert was always a top student, quite creative and artistic who loved science, and he was a much liked young person known for his kindness and adventurous spirit. He has been drug and alcohol free; he never smoked. He never had any involvement with police. Three years …
Her vacation love became a con
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about a vacation love that became a con from a reader whom we'll call Elsa20. Names are changed. I met Aslan when I was staying at a hotel in Istanbul. He worked at the front desk. We established a friendship. I left to travel around Turkey and came back to Istanbul and it was the beginning of a long distance relationship. He moved to another city in Turkey to work as a hotel manager. I visited him 3 times. He said he loved me; he wanted to marry me. On one of my visits he asked me for $5,000 to pay his military exemption. After back and forth I wired him the money using Western Union. He promised he would pay me back in May …
Question: Are there harmless sociopaths?
Editor's note: Last week Lovefraud published an article written by a reader who posts as "Natalia20" called, "The sociopathic singer and his many women." Today, I'll address another of her questions, "Are there harmless sociopaths?" Of course, sociopaths usually have some agenda ... exploiting, want a control, etc. But are there people who have no empathy and conscience but live their lives “normally” without having any victims – just not having emotions? I give you an example: My friend Kat. She earns a lot of money but she is super stingy, and always a freeloader but I don´t think she would use someone in order to gain (but she doesn´t feel embarrassed about asking for guest lists and …
The sociopathic singer and his many women
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about a sociopathic singer from the reader, "Natalia20." I went to a gig and he was the singer of the band. He was so handsome, sexy, it was very busy night but he noticed me in the crowd and tracked me through a mutual friend. I felt happy like a teenager - I never met a man with a bigger charm or charisma. Often I read that sociopaths have dead eyes but his eyes were the opposite! I never saw more VIVID eyes. They were sooo eager to live life fully, so excited and naughty, with lots of sparkles. He told me how he saw me from the stage and knew "there she is” ... We were dating nearly a year. He was always very spiritual, very c …
Signs of a sociopath: love bombing and refusing to pay
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Christie20. After dating a narcissist for 7 years, I remained single after we broke up for three years. I decided it was time for me to date again. A doctor in northern California found me on my Instagram account. I am the type of person that gets a generous amount of messages from men, however I usually won't respond. For some reason, I read and responded to this man. Something about him had me intrigued. We decided to meet when he came to Orange County for a medical conference. He immediately started love bombing me. He spoke about how he was the greatest, smartest doctor in the E.R. He would …
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A story of classic sociopathic betrayal: ‘The most vile person I ever met’
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story of sociopathic betrayal from a reader who posts as "Mary2." I met him a year ago. He was charming, kind, and seemed so perfect. He told me he was separated and that his wife was living in another state. We did everything together. Then, one day, she returns. I asked why? He said to get more things. She was actually going back and forth between her mother’s residence and here. I continued to believe him. He met my girls, my mom, my sister, my co-workers. All thought he was wonderful. He told me his wife was crazy. When she kept returning he said she just had Dr appointments because she had cancer. I asked to see the separation p …
A story of classic sociopathic betrayal: ‘The most vile person I ever met’Read More