How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!

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By Joyce Short Author: Carnal Abuse by Deceit Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Catfish romance scams can happen when people don't meet, as well as when they do. There's no limit to how the relationship progresses. Sexual bonding is caused by chemistry in your brain. Some people lack this brain chemistry, but for those who have a healthy dose of it, they'll become addicted to their lover, just like if they injected or snorted an addictive drug. To read the rest of this insightful look at catfishing, read Joyce Short's post: Catfish romance scams why they should be outlawed!       …

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Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists

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Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode. Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, "Paul," is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway. Repetition Increases The …

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Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20

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On April 20, 1999, two students from Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, went to school intending to kill as many people as possible. In a 49-minute massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher, shooting many of them at point-blank range. They injured 21 additional people. Three more victims were injured trying to escape the bloodbath. Columbine High School massacre, on Wikipedia.org. Worried parents heard about the shooting as it was underway, and feared for the safety of their children. One of them was Sue Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold. But Sue's worry turned to horror when she realized that her son was one of the murderers. Sue Klebold has …

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If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care

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Chapter 7 If I Explain It Right, He'll Care In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two "right" sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we're even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not. But regardless of our natural tendencies, the bottom line is this: our ability to work through daily …

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Warning: Sociopath Ahead!

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A friend of mine feared her daughter was involved with a sociopath who was pressuring her to have children with him. Knowing I'd had my life derailed by my own husband (now ex-husband), who I now believe is a sociopath, my friend asked me to tell her daughter some of my story. As one never knows if a seed of information will later blossom into insight, I wrote her daughter a letter.  The entry below is based on that letter. Wonderful Qualities Become Profound Vulnerabilities I believe my ex-husband and the father of my children has a personality disorder—narcissistic personality disorder—some refer to such individuals as sociopaths or psychopaths. Such people are more common that most of us e …

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Who exactly is a potential victim of psychopaths or sociopaths?

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Chapter 5 Who is a potential victim? Everyone is a potential victim of a psychopath. There are two basic reasons why, and my goal in this chapter is to make them clear for you. Why? Because too many people think they can't be fooled or that they're too strong to be a victim, and those beliefs put us in danger of being swept away and devastated by a psychopath. Here are my two points, up front. First, psychopaths handle deception differently, and it catches us off guard. Almost anyone can be fooled, even professionals. Second, the most masterful unincarcerated psychopaths can give a very warm impression and/or they talk incessantly about their values. We are not brought up to anticipate …

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For Sociopaths, It’s All About Them–Even When You’re Sick

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Before I met “Paul,” (the man I married, who I realized about twenty years too late must be a sociopath) I had a friend who may not have known about sociopaths, but she knew to call off her engagement to “Mr. Right” because of a cold and a sandwich. Make Your Own Damn Sandwich! Carol was smart, motivated, kind, outgoing, upbeat, and gorgeous. She was clearly a “catch,” and she had come very close to marrying handsome, rich, well-connected “Mr. Right.” One day, Carol was not feeling well and was lying on the couch amidst sniffles, cough drops, and tissues. Her fiancé chose that moment to ask her to make him a sandwich. “If someone's going to expect me to make him a sandwich when I'm the one w …

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How Sociopaths Fool You Into Thinking They’re You’re Friend

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Chapter 4 Richard Parker Is Not Your Friend Psychopathic expert Kent Kiehl has contributed enormously to the field. He says that every adult psychopath he has ever worked with was different as a child, and not in a good way. When he looks through their prison files, he finds all kinds of stories about how much trouble they caused, how they never connected with friends, how they didn't join teams, and how they were ultimately the black sheep of their families. Sounds like what you would expect, right? A psychopath is not and never was your friend. Here's my issue. Kiehl works with prisoners. Prisoners have been caught. And so when you believe him—which is likely, since he's an e …

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Labels and Lists Might Not Help

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  Hello, Lovefraud Readers. A quick reintroduction: I'm Helen Beverly, an author and psychotherapist who writes under the name H.G. Beverly. I was married to a psychopath for over a decade and am still dealing with the challenges of raising our children “together” in a society that struggles to deal with psychopathy. I've written some posts about those challenges that you can find archived here on Lovefraud. Also, I published my memoir, The Other Side of Charm, in 2014 and am now releasing my next book one chapter at a time. You can find it here and on my blog at hgbeverly.com. It's called My Ex is a Psychopath, But I Am Strong and Free. This book details my healing journey despite fail …

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