How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Family Court Theater Presents: The Psychopath as “The Man Who Never Was”

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Since the last round of my “Custody War” with Luc (my ex psychopath), I have thought a lot about the flaws in our legal system.  I run the events of the trials (“battles”) over and over in my head. I still can't understand how such a disordered man like my ex can be allowed to have unsupervised access to a child.  I know it is not healthy to think about it so much, but I can't help it when the thoughts creep into my head.  I keep trying to put my finger on why this process left me so incredibly disturbed. Even after hearing disturbing testimony from several of Luc's previous victims (who graciously agreed to testify against Luc during my Custody War), I couldn't shake this feeling that I w …

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Lance Armstrong’s former employee tells tale of vengeance

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Last week, Lance Armstrong gave up his fight against doping charges. For two years, Mike Anderson was Armstrong's personal assistant, during the height of his racing career. Anderson's story, published by Outside magazine, makes you wonder. Read My life with Lance Armstrong, on OutsideOnline.com. Interestingly, Sally Jenkins, a columnist for the Washington Post who co-wrote Lance Armstrong's book (It's Not About the Bike), rode to Armstrong's defense. She wrote, "Lance Armstrong is a good man. There's nothing that I can learn about him short of murder that would alter my opinion on that." Jenkins is also the sportswriter who originally believed Joe Paterno when he said he didn't know …

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Priest says, then regrets saying, children are often seducers

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Rev. Benedict Groeschel of New York says, in an interview, that priests accused of child sex abuse are often seduced by their accusers. He then apologized, and his order, the Franciscan Friars, says the priest is "mentally frail." Read NY priest apologizes for saying child is often seducer in sex abuse cases, on NBCNews.com. And then there's this: Trial to open in notorious archdiocesan abuse case, on Philly.com. …

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A chilling short film portraying sociopathic domestic violence

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I did not experience violence at the hands of my sociopathic husband, and for that I am eternally grateful. But 36 percent of the people who completed the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey said they were physically abused, and 34 percent said their lives were threatened. A short film by Sharon Wright, called Tell Me That You Love Me, provides a chillingly accurate depiction of violence in an intimate relationship. It's chilling and accurate because she experienced it. Sharon explains why she made the film in a separate YouTube video. I cannot add anything to her words, except to thank her for making the film. It captures, in a little over five minutes, the horror of domestic violence, …

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Sentencing and Psychopathy

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There is increasing evidence that psychopathy results from an interaction between genes and environment. In fact the genes responsible and their interactions with early life experiences have already begun to be elucidated. (See Bad Nature Bad Nurture). Eventually individuals we call sociopaths will be shown to have extremes of physiology that contribute to the disorder. Note that I say extremes of physiology; there will always be people who have various physiological findings in common with individuals with psychopathy who do not manifest the disorder. I spend many hours a week talking with people who have been victimized by psychopathic individuals. This past week, a severely affected …

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Can narcissists become leaders?

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An article in Harvard Business Review says that narcissists make poor leaders. I'd agree with that. Then the article claims that through mentorship, companies can transform high-achievers with narcissistic traits into quality leaders. What do you think? Is it possible? Read: Narcissism: The difference between high achievers and leaders, on blogs.HBR.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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When the emotionally abused “behave badly”

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Has the emotionally abusive individual in your life ever "encouraged" you to behave badly?  Were you "pushed" into an emotional response that placed you in a less than favorable light?  Did this response seem to bring satisfaction to your abuser?  Did he or she gain sympathy or affirmation from others because of your upset?  Were you "baited," into confrontations that ultimately left you very visibly shaken, angry, scared, or feeling out of control?  Afterward, were you left confused and wondering what just happened?  Worse, yet, were you then accused of being "crazy" or "abusive" by your abuser?  Did the events ever cause you to question yourself? If you are or were involved with a psycho …

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Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?

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Last week I heard from a woman who realized that her work supervisor was probably disordered. The Lovefraud reader was hired by a school system to work one-on-one with a special needs child, but what she was directed to do made no sense. When she asked the school district's "professionals" about the "therapy," since, in her experience, it was inappropriate for the child's needs, they seemed uncomfortable and never really answered her. The supervisor, in the meantime, became belligerent. The Lovefraud reader saw that the supervisor was controlling, the professionals were intimidated, and the child was not receiving the right care. The Lovefraud reader was so upset that she took medical …

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About Stolen Lives

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Over the years, hearing many victim stories, I often felt the pain and loss of “stolen lives.” Note that having one's life stolen is not the same process as giving one's life away. There are some who spend 30 or more years in a relationship with a sociopath/psychopath and it is important people understand that there is always coercion involved in the process of making and maintaining these relationships. Consider that the coercive behavior that begins and maintains relationships occurs on a continuum from persuasion, to lying/manipulation to taking someone physically by force. The point is that there was never informed, freely given consent. If the victim had known the truth of what they w …

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