All conscientious people, when there's a problem in a relationship, take a look inside eventually to see where their fault or responsibility lies. In a good couple relationship, you might have a fight over something, but then at some point, you talk about it and get a different understanding of where your partner was coming from, which can change your perspective. You might realize you reacted because it pushed some sort of button in you, perhaps some experience from your past, or you misinterpreted something. In this interchange, both people in a mutually caring relationship should eventually take responsibility for their part of the conflict. Through resolving the conflict you should end …
Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own children
The Boy Scouts of America "perversion files" from 1959 to the late 1980s were made public last year. One of the violators was Brandon Gray, who lived in Morristown, New Jersey, in 1963. The documentation of Gray's action was validation for two of his children, who were also abused, and struggled to live normal lives afterwards. Brandon Gray scout abuse: Siblings discover dad's molestation, remember own torment, on HuffingtonPost.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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Fear-based thinking no longer runs my life
Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.” According to my counseling therapist, I became involved with sociopaths as a result of their motivations and their abilities to note my strengths and vulnerabilities. My vulnerabilities were formed during my childhood and manifested as a crippling condition termed, “shame core.” This core was based upon my experiences in a dysfunctional family environment of alcoholism. For whatever reasons, I believed that I was responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone, and I mean everyone. This false sense of responsibility prepared me for a lifetime of fear-based decisions and choices that included marryi …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?
Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “IMarriedIt.” Names are changed. Thirteen years ago, I was an attractive, confident single woman. I owned a small house with 2 cats & a dog. I wasn't looking to date when I met a charsmatic man at work, Simon, or rather, he made a beeline for me. I told him I wasn't interested in dating. He then chose the words he knew would reassure me, that we could spend time together as just friends, but it wouldn't be dating. We did things together & had dinner as pals (so I thought). He amped up the charm and was likeable & witty, though I thought there was something a little strange about him. One night he rang my doo …
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“Did He Ever Love Me?” A Qualitative Study of Life With a Psychopathic Husband
Just Like His Father? (available through this site) was released in October, 2006. At that time I fantasized that the audience for the book would be single parents or grandparents raising the children of personality disordered individuals. I thought that most of the disordered parents would have abandoned the family and want nothing to do with the kids. While we still do not know what percentage of personality disordered parents abandon their kids, I have come to believe that that those who do not are a much bigger social problem. Within 6 months of the release of the book, people who were trying to co-parent with severely disordered former partners began to write me. At first I did not …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopath
Lovefraud received the following email from a man who says he is a sociopath. It is published for educational purposes, to provide insight into how he thinks. Comments will not be allowed on this post. I'm a sociopath. I've known for a very long time that I'm a sociopath and that's that. I'm writing to you because I want your opinion. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly intelligent male with an IQ of 167. Everyone around me calls me a genius or prodigy; I just think I'm me. I am what I am and it's the only world I know. I am exceptionally good at deduction and reading people. The best example I give for myself would be Sherlock Holmes for the BBC TV series Sherlock. I can …
Another custody battle, another murder
Christine Belford was shot dead in a Delaware courthouse by her former father-in-law, Thomas Matusiewicz. David Matusiewicz, Belford's ex-husband and father of their three children, had previously had his parental rights terminated after kidnapping the children and taking them to Nicaragua. Documents hint at wider conspiracy in Delaware courthouse shooting, on Philly.com. …
Prevent Theft of Your Child’s Identity
By Elaine Walker, Certified Fraud Examiner We're constantly bombarded with advertisements for products to keep us safe from identity theft. Let's separate the facts from scare tactics. According to the Institute for Fraud Prevention, 60% of identity theft is perpetrated by someone the victim knows: a family member, friend, or someone who has access to the victim's home. LoveFraud readers know that the sociopath in their lives would have no problem starting a new financial life using a child's identity. But just how much should you pay for protecting your child's identity (and your own)? According to a Consumer Reports article published in February, 2012 (and revisited in January, …
Father arrested in death of Prince McLeod Rams
Back in October, the Lovefraud community was shocked to learn that the toddler son of our own contributor, Cappuccino Queen, went to his father's home for a court-ordered visitation and did not return. Today the child's father, Joaquin Rams, was arrested for his murder. Joaquin Rams arrested for allegedly killing Prince McLeod Rams, on WJLA.com. Dr. Liane Leedom will be posting about this case soon. …
Mother of a mentally ill son describes what she faces every day
Perhaps, in the aftermath of the terrible tragedy in Connecticut, people will finally start talking seriously about how to cope with the mentally disturbed. Liza Long, mother of 13-year-old boy who sometimes rages out of control, tells her story. 'I am Adam Lanza's mother': A mom's perspective on the mental illness conversation in America, on HuffingtonPost.com. Dr. Liane Leedom recommended this story for Lovefraud readers. …
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