Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "GoldenGirl.” I remember my first red flag. We were walking to his car on a first date after about three months of telephone conversation after we first met. I was so shocked by what “I” blurted out, that I ignored my own advice. As we were close to his car, I turned to him and said, for no specific reason, “If you ever lie to me I will leave you.” I immediately apologized and said, “I don't know where that came from! I have never said anything like that to someone before in my life.” It is five years later and I dearly wish that I had followed my own advice. I was 65 at the time, had not …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Alone. Exhausted. Lonely. Stressed. Stuck.
Editor's note: This letter was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Billyjean.” All names in this letter have been changed. Donna Andersen will comment on this story tomorrow. When I met "Joseph," I had been through my fair share of heartbreak. I was a single mum with a five-year-old little girl, who had little contact with her dad, a Swedish national, and, as I was from overseas, I had no family here. No grandma and grandpa for her, no aunties or uncles. I had to be everything. I did my best to give her a happy home. Dating as a single parent is tricky. You have to consider carefully when is the right time to introduce a prospective new partner to your little …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Alone. Exhausted. Lonely. Stressed. Stuck.Read More
It is so painful to know that the whole relationship was not real
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Terry Ann.” Other names in this post have also been changed. He is as romantic and alluring as his designer label name sounds. I met “PQ” on Millionaire Match.com. His profile states he was born in Milan, Italy, I wasn't seeking a millionaire. I wanted a man with a respectable job, status, and stability. We had a whirlwind romance in a two-week period of time before he suddenly had to move from Bradenton, Florida to Couer D'Alene, Idaho. I clearly remember his first phone call to me. His accent was sexy, romantic, and sweet. Within moments, he boldly asked me personal questions, but he was so …
It is so painful to know that the whole relationship was not realRead More
‘The Stir’ posts about warning signs of a secret life
Donna Andersen was recently interviewed for an article on "The Stir," part of Cafemom.com. They include: Your gut is telling you something's wrong He disappears or travels a lot He has unreasonable boundaries He lies and keeps secrets The author, Kiri Blakeley, did a great job.You'll want to read the story: 10 scary signs your man is living a secret life, on TheStir.Cafemom.com. …
‘The Stir’ posts about warning signs of a secret lifeRead More
Every week the sociopath hooks up with shemale escorts
This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Carlisia.” The sociopath left me and our son homeless. We were involved six years ago when I became pregnant. He was very upset about the pregnancy and treated me badly, even offered me money to have an abortion. He disappeared from our lives when our son was six months old and found another victim. Three years passed and because something went wrong with my child support I had to contact him again so he can fix it. We started communicating by email and exchanging pictures and he wanted to take me out to dinner to "catch up." I accepted and the love-bombing started all over again. More intense than the first …
Every week the sociopath hooks up with shemale escortsRead More
She is taking everything I own and trying to destroy me
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Victor." I met my wife seven years ago. She was still married but told me her husband was abusive and she was working on a separation with him. He left the home and she bought him out (very little equity in the home). About six months after he left I moved in with her. We became engaged after three years and had a very passionate relationship. I was so proud and happy and we were so close. We married in 2011. Everything was great and we really got along well. I did notice that she would never say sorry for anything she did and it was always me that paid for things. We sold the house after I …
She is taking everything I own and trying to destroy meRead More
I still feel like a fool for being blinded by love
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Gerald." At age 62, I married a gal I'd been in love with all my life. I'd known her in high school and when I re-connected with her I felt that my two divorces were just dues I had to pay to get "the real thing." I told her that marrying her was like winning the lottery for me. She soon began to manifest some troubling behaviors fabricating supposed cheating incidents that never happened and misunderstanding small incidents. She became hyper-critical of everything I said or did. The first real clue I had to the nature of the problem was when I mentioned a book I'd read, "The Sociopath Next Door." …
I was love bombed into a relationship with a sociopath
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Ms Love Bombed.” My involvement with a sociopath lasted five years. I didn't know anything about sociopaths until my therapist told me to look up the definition. That is when I realized I was involved with one. My spath love bombed me the minute we officially met. I had known him only from going to my husband's softball games. The first few years, it was only sex with him. He was living with another woman (which I didn't know for the longest time and he lied to me, saying they were just roommates). I always said I was his whore. He called me names and verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused me. …
I was love bombed into a relationship with a sociopathRead More
Abusers and their 5-step strategy to get women to drop charges
A new study reveals the five-step strategy men who are charged with felony domestic violence use to get their female victims to recant their stories. Researcher Amy Bonomi, associate professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University, and her team, listened to recorded phone calls between incarcerated men and their female victims. The analysis of these conversations may fundamentally change how victim advocates and prosecutors work with domestic violence victims to prosecute abusers, according to the researchers. Jailhouse phone calls reveal why domestic violence victims recant, from Science Daily. "Meet me at the hill where we used to park": interpersonal …
Abusers and their 5-step strategy to get women to drop chargesRead More
Mark Manson reveals why ‘Love is Not Enough’
Mark Manson is an author and entrepreneur who posts on his website hundreds of articles about psychology and modern culture. ”˜Love is Not Enough' is a straightforward look at love through Mark Manson's eyes. Manson compares John Lennon's notion that “all you need is love” with Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor's idea that “love is not enough.” Manson sides with Reznor and warns that there are three harsh truths about love: love does not equal compatibility, love does not solve your relationship problems, and love is not always worth sacrificing yourself. Manson summarizes that love is a wonderful experience. It's one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something …