Recovery from a sociopath

10 lessons from the mistakes we made with sociopaths

Many years ago, I attended a workshop presented by Patricia Sun, a pioneer of the self-awareness movement. One of the things she talked about was shifting our views about making mistakes.

We tend to fear making mistakes, and when we do make mistakes, we berate ourselves. But in reality, mistakes are a part of life. There are no instruction manuals for most of the choices we make. Life, therefore, is a series of decisions made mostly by trial and error. We never progress in a straight line towards out goals. We have false starts and detours, but with time and persistence, we get to where we want to go.

Patricia Sun talked about viewing mistakes as opportunities … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 12: BPOSITIVE

Gone are the times when apples and blackberries were simply fruits and hard drive was a difficult journey. Times are changing friends…There is something about bananas though that has always caught my attention. They always seem to smile at me. Does this ever happen to you? If not, I will tell you a secret – every time you buy a banana or just before savouring one, pause for a moment and hold it sideways. Without any exaggeration, it flashes cartoon eyes, smiles wide and winks at you. If you want to check it for yourself, … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 11: BGRATEFUL

Friends when is the last time you felt gratitude for having two eyes to see and two ears to hear? I know there are so many things we don’t take a notice of, but think about people who dream to have what you have, dream to be where you are and dream to have food on their table and fresh running water every day. How grateful would they feel to be in your place? Think of people in the war zones watching their homes burn in flames, wishing for peace, shelter and company. How grateful … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 10: WAKE UP

How do you wake up when you feel traumatised? Your answer is likely to be one of these two – you either cannot fall asleep in the first place, still thinking what the hell happened, or you snooze and keep snoozing, because there doesn’t seem to be any compelling reason to wake up… Some people don’t sleep because of insomnia, some others can’t sleep because of an internet connection but you probably can’t wake up because you are addicted to escaping the reality.

All those thoughts, feelings and emotions still keep boiling inside you … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 9: HOLD ON

If you are like me, you have probably figured out pretty quick that it hurts to let go, but at times it hurts even more to hold on. This practice is not really an understanding of holding on to people or things that matter for us, but rather an interpretation of holding on to the precious sparkling diamond inside us.

Throughout this practice together we will find the charcoal that has been inhibiting deep inside us and polish it to make it a precious stone that will receive everyone’s admiration. Drawing parallels with the natural … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 8: ACCEPT

Do you accept that you have parents and siblings or do you mind? Well, we don’t seem to have any choice, do we? There are facts or situations in life that we have no choice, but accept. It is not possible for us to be here on this planet without having parents, even though we cannot predict where the Human Genome Project will take us in the near future…What would happen though if you were to claim you do not have parents, thinking you must be some sort of a transplant by some aliens or … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 7: FORGIVE

I promise to love and forgive, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… so the line goes. Was this a sickness many of us ask ourselves, sometimes with deep emotional wounds of guilt and shame, curious if we have broken those sacred marriage vows?

Friends, if you are Innocent and I blame you for a crime that you have committed, you will take me to court and ask for Justice. If however, you are Guilty and I blame you for that crime, you will beg for Mercy. Innocent souls … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 6: REFLECT

If there is one skill that all of us mastered since birth, it has to be Sales skills! Straight away we started screaming out loud and announcing to the world that we are Hungry. If you are like me, you probably didn’t give up screaming until you got served those magic liquid drops, and I personally had no intention of giving up on mother’s milk, until I found myself screaming the same scream at the ripe age of 2, but nobody seemed to hear. Eventually my vocal cords got exhausted and I was presented with … Read more

How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at

Lovefraud recently received the following email:

I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead “normal” lives (whatever that means).

I’m a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack

Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 5: BATHERMOSTAT

If you are like me, you probably don’t even question why the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. It seems like we expect it to happen and we don’t even get curious to question it. It simply is a natural process that happens to be consistent every single day. How about a clock? Have you wondered why do those hands constantly circle to the right? I have never really wondered what they are chasing on and on, but they are consistent too. I know sometimes you and I wish we could stop … Read more

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