Recovery from a sociopath

How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at

Lovefraud recently received the following email:

I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead “normal” lives (whatever that means).

I’m a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 5: BATHERMOSTAT

If you are like me, you probably don’t even question why the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. It seems like we expect it to happen and we don’t even get curious to question it. It simply is a natural process that happens to be consistent every single day. How about a clock? Have you wondered why do those hands constantly circle to the right? I have never really wondered what they are chasing on and on, but they are consistent too. I know sometimes you and I wish we could stop … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 4: FEEL

Let me ask you a simple question, how are you feeling today? Let me guess your simple answer… it’s probably a four-letter F word.

Think about that answer again, FINE! We all say it, we have all memorised it really well, but is it really that simple? Are you really as honest with yourself as I have been with myself giving that answer no matter who asks the question? Besides, do I really have that genuine desire to know how you are feeling right now, honestly? Sometimes we have no choice but to stick to … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 3: THINK

Do you think doctors should be allowed to tell patients “I’m afraid you have a terminal illness”? Why can’t they just be honest and tell them “I am afraid my ability to treat your illness has terminated”? Well then what happens if there is an illness that neither the doctors nor the patients are aware of, a potentially terminal illness that only affects victims of psychopathic abuse? Let’s just call them brain worms that nobody understands yet, brain parasites that are the residues of those relationships.

You wonder how to treat them? Well, my research … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 2: BREAGRIEVE

Marley and I made a delicious breakfast this morning and enjoyed it on our sunny balcony. We then had the arduous task of digesting the food. We sat there for hours directing all our energy and efforts to help that food pass through our system, we tried hard mixing it with digestive juices, causing large molecules of food to break down into smaller ones to help it nourish our body. Is this actually what we do in reality?

Well, our body happens to be such an intelligent system, we are fortunate to have many of … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 1: AWAKENING

Have you ever tried changing the weather? It’s a sunny morning here in California, but no matter how much I wish it could snow on this beautiful January day, there is probably no chance it will ever happen. Regardless, I am dreaming about it, praying for it, creating a plan, working hard, staying awake at night and wishing for that change. Finally, I cry out for help, asking people around me, reading books and magazines, wishing so hard for it to snow! Please, I want to see those snowflakes beautifully dancing and diving past my … Read more

Introducing a FREE 30-day mind/body recovery program, created by a Lovefraud reader

Ruzanna Dinger and Marley

Ruzanna Dinger recently escaped a traumatic situation — one that many, many Lovefraud readers can identify with. While in the midst of it, she experienced worrisome physical symptoms — blackouts, heart palpitations, panic attacks. To get through her troublesome journey, she is using calming mind/body techniques and exercises. Ruzanna now wants to share her healing journey with Lovefraud readers.

Ruzanna is creating a 30-day Self-Love and Healing Video Series. When I saw her videos, I thought that they would be truly helpful for many Lovefraud readers. Ruzanna uses simple yoga and … Read more

If you must fight a sociopath, you cannot be nice

Sociopaths do not believe that the rules apply to them. They do not fight fair.

Therefore, if you choose to fight a sociopath, or if you have no choice but to fight a sociopath, your own fighting style will need to become aggressive as well.

If you’re a nice person, if you typically want to do what’s fair for everyone involved — well, that doesn’t work with a sociopath. A sociopath’s objective is not to be fair. It’s to win, and possibly annihilate you in the process.

To survive the battle, you’ll need to act in a way that is probably contrary to your nature. It will be uncomfortable, but necessary.

First decision — do you fight?

Here’s … Read more

In the New Year, the secret to true recovery from the sociopath

It’s the New Year, the perfect time to reflect on what we truly want in life. If you are or have been involved with a sociopath, your most ardent wish is probably for recovery.

Here’s the secret that will enable you to achieve your desire for recovery: All true healing is internal.

Now, you may feel like I’m stating the obvious, because you feel like crap, and you want to feel better. Or worse, you are numb, and you can’t feel anything.

You may believe that fixing some external problem caused by the sociopath will enable you to feel better. If you can just finalize the divorce, get custody of the kids, move away, get your money back, … Read more

Love is always a leap of faith

Lovefraud received the following email:

Hi Donna,

I’m a huge fan of LoveFraud and can’t thank you enough for making it happen. I know from your story that you’ve found a wonderful man.  So have I, and we’ve been dating about a year. He’s an upbeat, nurturing person with a great sense of humor and good boundaries!

Still, I’m finding it difficult to let go and love him. I’m really surprised how long it’s taking me to let go of my fear. (I’ve been out of my marriage 4 years and did a lot of healing before I met new guy.)

Could you address this in one of your articles? I see a lot of info on how

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