Recovery from a sociopath

After being targeted by a sociopath, self-blame is natural, but misguided

My motivation for writing Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned”  and Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood was multifaceted, including to help myself and others understand and heal. Understanding and healing is an ongoing process, and I am always learning.

Self-blame and victim-blaming are common. Many involved with sociopaths experience self-blaming and are also the target of “victim-blaming.” It’s bad enough when someone we thought cared deeply for us gives us little sympathy and says things like, “How could you have been so naive?” “How did you cause this?” “How could a smart person be so stupid?” “I would have never let that … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 21: TUNE IN

Welcome to SLV101, the top radio station of the year! Interested in tuning in? Watch the session to learn how to catch the frequency for your Self LoVe One-Oh-One station. Once you are tuned in, you will probably be tempted to stay tuned, simply because it feels Oh so good!

Do you remember a time when you would wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say “good morning beautiful”? I know it sounds strange, but it feels Good, why do you care how well it sounds? Start giving yourself compliments because it is an … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 20: SHIFT

Répondez, s’il vous plait. “Please reply”, goes the French phrase. I personally love receiving invitations and sending RSVPs, however, when somebody invites me to drama, there is no way I will RSVP! I am now inviting you to share this perspective and think before you sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none. If you choose to call it “returning a favour” because the word “revenge” sounds so mean, I am afraid the outcome will be no different.

You have probably heard them say, before you go on a journey of revenge, … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 19: GIVE

Let’s take a fresh new look at the word Message together. It seems to be made of two words – mess and age. I am sure you all know what mess is all about, we felt it through all of our five senses – we saw it, we heard it, we touched it, some of us smelled and tasted it. Using our sixth sense now, the voice of intuition, which is or our extrasensory perception, we are able to turn that mess into a mess-age.

We age physiologically when we grow old, but we age … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 18: ACT


Acting when you are traumatised sounds like an arduous task, but it takes a special person like you to act on your life, so that it doesn’t act on you instead (again!). During this self-love and healing practice acting is about starting to take charge of your life in every way. Following the principles learned from the past 17 days of practice, once you put yourself first and start your day with yourself first, you will very much look forward to your morning 25-minute power routine suggested in this practice.

Many of you have … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 17: UNDERSTAND

When was the last time you dressed up and took yourself out on a date? Why not? You keep going out on dates trying to get to know other people, how about you get to know yourself too? I know it sounds crazy to go on a date by yourself, but trust me, I had to do it myself and it works! I don’t of course ask myself, hey where are you from, what achievements or failures did you have in life, I don’t even bother asking what the hell happened any more, because no … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 16: VISUALISE

When we visualise, we normally form a mental image of something. If you have ever paid attention to the kind of mental pictures while browsing the lovefraud pages, since you first came across to this site, you have probably been petrified. You probably considered yourself a well-educated, well-rounded person, with great empathy, affection, attention and care for all, but you probably felt like a zebra chased by a lion, a fish caught by a bear or a rabbit tortured by a fox. It’s impossible for anyone to understand a predator and a prey relationship unless … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 15: DREAM

Have you ever wondered where your childhood toys are? The toys you used to play with, imagine with and dream with, what happened to them? That little racing car, the noisy steam train, that beautiful doll… Your mind is probably travelling 30, 40, 50 years back wondering about your lost toys. Well, I have lost my childhood toys too, I just don’t know where they are. But let’s think for a second, what else has gone missing with those toys… Imagination. Why don’t we dream and imagine the same way we used to when playing … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 14: WORK OUT

If you were to tell people you are going for a run a few decades ago, they would wonder who is chasing you. Times have changed… Now working out is considered part of our healthy lifestyle. It seems like the industrial and modern hi-tech revolutions have transformed our lifestyle choices. We could spend the entire day operating fancy devices and machines without much physical activity.

In the past sessions we have learned the advantage of waking up early at 5am to start your day with You first, to allocate enough time for yourself to observe … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 13: GET OUT

How would you feel or rather what would you do if I were to sneak behind you right now and dump a bucket full of ice cold water over your head? I don’t know about you, but I am guessing I would get a black eye! Why wouldn’t you like a fresh cold water showering all over you, cleansing and invigorating your entire body, what’s wrong with that? I am guessing your answer is, that it is simply discomforting, it is a very awkward thing to do and it just makes you feel cold, your … Read more

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