Laws and courts

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following advice from a reader. By R. Brooks If you are like myself and have dealt (or are dealing) with a sociopath in court, you are fully aware of how difficult and exhausting it can be. These dealings are increasingly horrible when you are dealing with said person in a child custody hearing. I am here to tell you — YOU CAN BEAT THEM. However, to win takes commitment, consistency and most of all, patience. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you are dealing with this kind of individual, so if that is what you are expecting, it will never happen. I like the old saying, “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.” W …

How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopathRead More

He trained our children with Skittles. Sometimes he used little wads of paper. Any time we were in public places together, like watching a game or something, my ex would take a napkin or a popcorn bag and tear it up and throw little pieces of it at them if they were sitting with me. Or he'd buy a bag of Skittles and throw them, one at a time, giggling and smiling as he bounced them off the backs of their heads until they got up from their place beside me and moved over to sit with him. Then he would let them relax. It sounds miniscule. But that's where parental alienation lives—in every miniscule detail. It's not just in court—it's also in the granular. In the point where a child fin …

Sociopaths and Parental AlienationRead More

Think street cops are better trained to deal with sociopathy than the rest of us? Think again. Here are three ways that cops—at least the small town variety I'm most familiar with—can get pulled into aiding a sociopath: 1. Cops are just as likely as anybody else in the world to be charmed by a sociopath on the spot. In my case, I called for help when my ex threatened to leave my house with our children and not bring them back. At the time, he had also been actively stalking me and threatening my life. The local prosecutor had just sent an "official" letter to him, warning him to stay more than 100 feet away from me (or some similar distance). After our disagreement over his intent to keep o …

3 Ways Cops Can Support A SociopathRead More

Last week in Hard to See a Psychopath, I dedicated my post to seeing psychopaths/sociopaths more clearly. I talked about the need for assessments—meaning more training for more clinicians—as a place to start in our quest to "make things better." But what's next? Let's say you're in the family court system. Does an assessment make a difference? Why start there? I thought hard about this all week. Because for the past decade or two, I've lived in a space where I know that my ex is hurting people, but I've been silenced or belittled or ignored in most arenas when I try to talk about it. And I've imagined, many times, that if people just knew the truth, it would make a difference. This wee …

Sociopaths, Assessments, and Court–What’s the Point?Read More

My sociopathic ex and I meet monthly with a psychologist. The Guardian ad litem for our three children ordered us to do this after my ex filed for full custody of our two boys last year. So we've met with this psychologist maybe 6 times now, and neither of us had ever met him before our first meeting. All he knew about us in advance is that we're a "high conflict" couple, and he decided that the best thing he can do for our family is to help us get along. He's also trying to help us settle on an agreement that doesn't entirely eliminate my parenting time or rights. And I appreciate that. Therapy with a Sociopath What's it like? It's not that bad, really, compared to all the other …

Standing with a SociopathRead More