How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Hundreds of readers have sent their stories to Lovefraud. Read what others have endured — it will sound just like your experiences. You are not alone.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost myself in the relationship with a sociopath

//  by //  83 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by a reader who writes as "Buffalo Girl." She explains how she lost herself in the relationship with a sociopath. The boy across the street I remember him back in the late 70's. My family had moved into the new neighborhood. I was 12. He was the popular 13-year-old who always hung out with the cool boys who were years older than him. And they seemed to idolize him. I remember the second day in my new Catholic grammar school — me, the new girl, and him already there for years. But the teachers were fed up with him. Second day of school. The head nun and a few teachers surrounded him in the hall. They were already frustrated and g …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost myself in the relationship with a sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A hard fought battle, but no regrets

//  by //  20 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as "RobertInSeattle." I've been running into sociopaths all my life often when I least expected it. And believe me when I tell you the more I learn, the less I know! As I've been delving into all of this more deeply than I ever have in the past (all because of my breakup earlier this year with my most recent sociopath encounter), it's finally gotten me to looking much farther back into my own long history with them. There was so little discussion and certainly few if any online support groups in years past that actually addressed sociopathy when I went through my first divorce which started back in 1989. Many …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A hard fought battle, but no regretsRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lured and caught by a sociopath

//  by //  92 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader called "Makemenew2012." She describes how she was lured and caught by a sociopath. The Lure I met my second husband, an African immigrant, on a social media site. Mr. C (as I'll refer to him) connected with me through a mutual acquaintance and began sending me e-mails every day. At first, his messages seemed rather innocent— Mr. C asked how my day was going, what the weather was like, etc. But after a few days, he began fishing for information, inquiring about my husband and children. The first time, I ignored his question and responded on my own behalf. The next time, I replied that I didn't have a husband or childre …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lured and caught by a sociopathRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are you seeing someone else?

//  by //  114 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Adelle.” The sociopath asked, "Are you seeing someone else?" Here's her answer. A little over a month after leaving an abusive relationship and refusing to have any type of communication with him, he asks if I'm seeing someone else, as if that would be the only way I could get over him, or as if after such a hurricane of a relationship anyone would be inspired to move right into another. Could it be that I finally opened my eyes, that I finally picked myself up from the floor along with my self-esteem? As I walked the other day, I pondered on that question, “Are you seeing someone else?” I'd like to answer tha …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are you seeing someone else?Read More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again

//  by //  69 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernice." Her new man assured her that he could never hurt her, but it was an empty assurance. I had been out of an 18-year marriage for a year when I met my lovefraud. My husband was a selfish man who enjoyed his pornography. At the beginning I tried to be the good wife, experience things with him. The pornography I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I explained to him that for me it was a major turn off, almost sickening some of it. All that accomplished was him watching alone. When the children came along we only grew further apart. Over the rest of the marriage he became more and more independent …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that againRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking

//  by //  63 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name "DamselflyNOTdistressed." She writes about her nervous breakdown that was her sanity speaking. OCTOBER 24, 2012 - That was the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the "nervous breakdown" that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful — it was my sanity speaking. It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an e …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speakingRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind

//  by //  80 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Filippa." She found relief by letting go of monetary justice — even though she was entitled to it. I've been reading Lovefraud for years. I've also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, "I'll show you how to screw over an ex-wife." Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out — releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to man …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bindRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What Ifs

//  by //  62 Comments

Editor's Note: This is another email from the Lovefraud reader whom we're calling “Adelle.” She previously contributed, Are you seeing someone else? This time she relates the freedom that comes with losing the fear of What Ifs. I finally left my SP and like the alka-seltzer commercial used to say, “Oh what a relief it is.” My decision to leave was made a long time ago. Today I thought to myself, “Why didn't I do this sooner?” I didn't do it sooner because of fear, of course. I had so many “What Ifs?” I never questioned whether it was in my best interest, I knew it was. The “What Ifs?” were in reference to him. What if he contacts my friends and tries to make me look bad? What if he …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What IfsRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I provided her a road map to my life

//  by //  26 Comments

Editor's Note: The following post was written by a Lovefraud reader who comments as RobertinSeattle. He realized that in providing detailed answers in an online profile, he provided a female predator with a road map to his life. Boy, I've started and re-started this post several times. Each time, a new idea or thought comes up that changes what I want to convey in my first open post about a recent breakup that started from a popular online dating site. But let me start off with some general observations: I've noted on many websites and blogs that sociopaths make up anywhere from 1% - 4% of our society. And that male sociopaths outnumber females by as many as 8-to-1. While I might agree …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I provided her a road map to my lifeRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: What would you do and what would you think?

//  by //  69 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Maryjane." She describes a lifetime of abuse from her family members, and asks 'what would you do?' If your husband, whom you found out had affairs all during your marriage, had a child with his secretary, paid her hush money, came on to your mother, grandmother, and another sister, told you that he had an affair with your sister during the time frame that you were readying for divorce, would you believe him? Also, this man gambled away most all the money in the marriage on football and golf betting (at a country club that you were the member of, not him, as he ran up bills) and was an alcoholic. And …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: What would you do and what would you think?Read More