Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor's note: A young reader has contacted Lovefraud on several occasions. She has realized that her father is disordered, which set her up to meet several disordered boyfriends. I used one of her letters in a video — you can see it here: "How do I avoid dating a sociopath like my father?" This reader writes: I took your advice and stopped dealing with my father because he always has ill intentions. I’m not sure if you recall the last time I spoke with him and saw him was over the summer of 2017. I will reiterate the story. He snapped his Achilles’ tendon trying to show off while climbing a mountain and I became the blame. He compared me to several women on the mountain, stating …

Lovefraud reader writes: ‘I hate holidays with a narcissist’Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call, "Trisha17." My uncle (mother’s side) is a sociopath. I’ve known since my first memory of him as a child, I just saw it in his mannerisms, heard it in his voice, saw it in his lack of genuine care for others. I just instinctually knew. I have always found him to be totally fake. My father is a highly intelligent and relatively benign grandiose narcissist. I have narcissistic traits but am definitely an empath. I have clued in to sociopaths and have been taken aback that no one else sees it. I remember when my grandma was having a serious surgery he went to get a haircut while she was under the kni …

My uncle is a sociopath — how do I protect our family?Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …

No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victimRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “stopbuggingme.” After 25 years, she realized that her husband was a sociopath. When my life fell apart a feeling arose that I really hadn’t felt before. Bitterness. I was becoming bitter. A bitter old b*tch. I called her Bob. It was like every time I opened my mouth Bob took over, spewing her bitterness everywhere! Even if I was just talking to myself, Bob would interrupt. She had to be stopped! Here are three things I used to keep Bob from living my life. Laughter Yoga My wonderful sense of humor? Bob stole it. I just couldn’t laugh anymore. It seemed too dire and felt almost fatal. Laughter Yoga (Hasya yoga) …

Escaping the sociopath and battling B.O.B.Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "rosered." Dear Donna, I have been a follower of your website since  last year. That was when, after four years of mental anguish, trying to understand inexplicable behavior, praying for my children (and myself), financial crisis, and wondering what it was that I was doing so wrong, I finally left my husband. In the week after, in which I was a totally emotional wreck, my sister urged me to follow links in an email she had sent me 6 months before. I had been reticent to read it at the time, brushing off her message as "totally ridiculous." The email subject line was: "He is a Narcissist." In retrospect, I …

I didn’t want to admit my husband was a sociopath; now I realize how blind I wasRead More

Three of my most serious relationships have been with sociopaths: my second marriage, an engagement, and most recently, with a man I was in a serious relationship with, lived with, and became pregnant by. My second marriage was with a man I met at work, who had been sober for 5 years in AA when I met him. He suffered from (diagnosed) borderline personality disorder, but I believe was also a full-fledged sociopath. He was a convicted abuser and had done jail time and anger management for that. He confessed to me that he was a prostitute for many years (with men), a porn performer, and a jewel thief. But because he was in AA and I believed honest, I thought he had changed. The abuse started …

My 3 sociopathic relationships — I am a therapist, and they fooled meRead More