Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …

No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victimRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “stopbuggingme.” After 25 years, she realized that her husband was a sociopath. When my life fell apart a feeling arose that I really hadn’t felt before. Bitterness. I was becoming bitter. A bitter old b*tch. I called her Bob. It was like every time I opened my mouth Bob took over, spewing her bitterness everywhere! Even if I was just talking to myself, Bob would interrupt. She had to be stopped! Here are three things I used to keep Bob from living my life. Laughter Yoga My wonderful sense of humor? Bob stole it. I just couldn’t laugh anymore. It seemed too dire and felt almost fatal. Laughter Yoga (Hasya yoga) …

Escaping the sociopath and battling B.O.B.Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "rosered." Dear Donna, I have been a follower of your website since  last year. That was when, after four years of mental anguish, trying to understand inexplicable behavior, praying for my children (and myself), financial crisis, and wondering what it was that I was doing so wrong, I finally left my husband. In the week after, in which I was a totally emotional wreck, my sister urged me to follow links in an email she had sent me 6 months before. I had been reticent to read it at the time, brushing off her message as "totally ridiculous." The email subject line was: "He is a Narcissist." In retrospect, I …

I didn’t want to admit my husband was a sociopath; now I realize how blind I wasRead More

Three of my most serious relationships have been with sociopaths: my second marriage, an engagement, and most recently, with a man I was in a serious relationship with, lived with, and became pregnant by. My second marriage was with a man I met at work, who had been sober for 5 years in AA when I met him. He suffered from (diagnosed) borderline personality disorder, but I believe was also a full-fledged sociopath. He was a convicted abuser and had done jail time and anger management for that. He confessed to me that he was a prostitute for many years (with men), a porn performer, and a jewel thief. But because he was in AA and I believed honest, I thought he had changed. The abuse started …

My 3 sociopathic relationships — I am a therapist, and they fooled meRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "msescue." I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me. Our relationship moved quickly. We became pregnant after dating for only 8 weeks. But he was ecstatic about it and he was amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and our daughter's infancy. He treated me like a queen and it felt so good to finally feel like I had found someone who loved me for …

I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated meRead More

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Shoni." I am just starting to believe my husband of 12 yrs may be a sociopath. I had the house, the car, the job when we met. He was new to the area going through a divorce from his Canadian wife. He was intelligent, charming, attentive, talkative, fun. Seemingly enjoyed church and a relationship with God. Never missed a Sunday. Now he calls himself a prophet. He reported my stepsister to the Fraud dept of IRS hoping to collect 10% recovery fee. He said God told him to do it. It puzzled me why he didn't have a good work ethic. He took over my stock portfolio, belittling my stock choices. He made terrible choices, I …

We are in counseling, and his objective is to get the counselor to fix meRead More