How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Sociopaths and family

Man v. Mouse: “in sickness and in health,” as long as we are healthy

//  by //  43 Comments

Life partners often vow to care for one another "til death do us part" and "in sickness and in health."  But do these concepts apply to psychopathic partners or those high in psychopathic traits?  You guessed it.  They do not.  If we are involved in a relationship with a psychopath and fall ill, we will see their true colors quickly.  We can expect a marked difference between the behaviors exhibited in a real love and psychopathic "love."  For if we have nothing to offer, they will not be there for us in our hours of need. It may not be immediate.  We may feel secure in the first "hour" or two.  Those feelings, however, will quickly give way to reality.  Initially, their words will comfort …

Man v. Mouse: “in sickness and in health,” as long as we are healthyRead More

While litigation fees mount, Connecticut court awards custody to abusers

//  by //  35 Comments

This two-part article in the Washington Times follows the money trail of Connecticut family court. Author Aine Nistophain writes about a 9-year-old, Max: When Max reported to authorities that his father had raped him, the Judge Munro awarded sole custody of him to his father. Suddenly, Max went from living with his mother full time, to seeing his mother a few hours a week in supervised visitation run by strangers armed with clipboards, then no contact at all. There's more, and it's bad. Read: Finding Ground Zero in Connecticut Immunity for Guardian Ad Litem destroys Connecticut family …

While litigation fees mount, Connecticut court awards custody to abusersRead More

Healing is a journey

//  by //  65 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I've written here many times that I used to think that healing was a place we arrived at and that once we got there “everything would be wonderful.”  I have learned in my latest tangles with the multiple psychopaths in my life that healing is NOT a place that we arrive at, but it is a Journey. I have no doubt looking back at my relationship with my P-sperm donor that I had PTSD when  I escaped from his clutches at least alive, which is more than some of his victims have done. I was 19 and had no one to advise me. Looking back, I wanted to talk to people about this trauma and no one seemed to either believe or care. Even my Egg Donor didn't believe a word …

Healing is a journeyRead More

The shame and blame game

//  by //  101 Comments

All conscientious people, when there's a problem in a relationship, take a look inside eventually to see where their fault or responsibility lies. In a good couple relationship, you might have a fight  over something, but then at some point, you talk about it and get a different understanding of where your partner was coming from, which can change your perspective. You might realize you reacted because it pushed some sort of button in you, perhaps some experience from your past, or you misinterpreted something. In this interchange, both people in a mutually caring relationship should eventually take responsibility for their part of the conflict. Through resolving the conflict you should end …

The shame and blame gameRead More

Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own children

//  by //  12 Comments

The Boy Scouts of America "perversion files" from 1959 to the late 1980s were made public last year. One of the violators was Brandon Gray, who lived in Morristown, New Jersey, in 1963. The documentation of Gray's action was validation for two of his children, who were also abused, and struggled to live normal lives afterwards. Brandon Gray scout abuse: Siblings discover dad's molestation, remember own torment, on HuffingtonPost.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own childrenRead More

Fear-based thinking no longer runs my life

//  by //  179 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.” According to my counseling therapist, I became involved with sociopaths as a result of their motivations and their abilities to note my strengths and vulnerabilities. My vulnerabilities were formed during my childhood and manifested as a crippling condition termed, “shame core.” This core was based upon my experiences in a dysfunctional family environment of alcoholism. For whatever reasons, I believed that I was responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone, and I mean everyone. This false sense of responsibility prepared me for a lifetime of fear-based decisions and choices that included marryi …

Fear-based thinking no longer runs my lifeRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?

//  by //  1,073 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “IMarriedIt.” Names are changed. Thirteen years ago, I was an attractive, confident single woman. I owned a small house with 2 cats & a dog. I wasn't looking to date when I met a charsmatic man at work, Simon, or rather, he made a beeline for me. I told him I wasn't interested in dating. He then chose the words he knew would reassure me, that we could spend time together as just friends, but it wouldn't be dating. We did things together & had dinner as pals (so I thought). He amped up the charm and was likeable & witty, though I thought there was something a little strange about him. One night he rang my doo …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?Read More

“Did He Ever Love Me?” A Qualitative Study of Life With a Psychopathic Husband

//  by //  49 Comments

Just Like His Father? (available through this site) was released in October, 2006. At that time I fantasized that the audience for the book would be single parents or grandparents raising the children of personality disordered individuals. I thought that most of the disordered parents would have abandoned the family and want nothing to do with the kids. While we still do not know what percentage of personality disordered parents abandon their kids, I have come to believe that that those who do not are a much bigger social problem. Within 6 months of the release of the book, people who were trying to co-parent with severely disordered former partners began to write me. At first I did not …

“Did He Ever Love Me?” A Qualitative Study of Life With a Psychopathic HusbandRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopath

//  by 

Lovefraud received the following email from a man who says he is a sociopath. It is published for educational purposes, to provide insight into how he thinks. Comments will not be allowed on this post. I'm a sociopath. I've known for a very long time that I'm a sociopath and that's that. I'm writing to you because I want your opinion. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly intelligent male with an IQ of 167. Everyone around me calls me a genius or prodigy; I just think I'm me. I am what I am and it's the only world I know. I am exceptionally good at deduction and reading people. The best example I give for myself would be Sherlock Holmes for the BBC TV series Sherlock. I can …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopathRead More

Another custody battle, another murder

//  by //  34 Comments

Christine Belford was shot dead in a Delaware courthouse by her former father-in-law, Thomas Matusiewicz. David Matusiewicz, Belford's ex-husband and father of their three children, had previously had his parental rights terminated after kidnapping the children and taking them to Nicaragua. Documents hint at wider conspiracy in Delaware courthouse shooting, on Philly.com. …

Another custody battle, another murderRead More