How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I provided her a road map to my life

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Editor's Note: The following post was written by a Lovefraud reader who comments as RobertinSeattle. Boy, I've started and re-started this post several times. Each time, a new idea or thought comes up that changes what I want to convey in my first open post about a recent breakup that started from a popular online dating site late last year. But let me start off with some general observations: I've noted on many websites and blogs that sociopaths make up anywhere from 1% - 4% of our society. And that male sociopaths outnumber females by as many as 8-to-1. While I might agree with those percentages in general, from my personal experience and research, I'd argue and debate those numbers …

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Red Flags of Love Fraud featured in Courier Post newspaper

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The Camden Courier-Post, located in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just published an article entitled, How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles. Both the online and print versions feature really big photos of my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud.  The article also includes tips from the Israeli self-defense system. So, if you miss the signs you're dating a sociopath early on, perhaps it's good to know how to react to physical violence. Read: How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles on CourierPostOnline.com. …

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Warning others: a moral obligation or crossing the line?

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This is an age old problem that seems to lack an easy answer.  Do we warn others if we recognize that they are involved with individuals with psychopathic features?  Is doing so a moral obligation or is it crossing the line? Back in the day, it was easier.  Sure, we saw our friends dating people we didn't like or who made us uncomfortable, but we probably just thought of these individuals as "jerks."  We surmised that the relationships wouldn't last and left it at that.  Even if they did endure, expressing negative opinions on such matters tended to be taboo.  As a result, typically, we said nothing. Now, however, society is beginning to acknowledge and discuss psychopathy more readi …

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Lovefraud Lessons: Videos to help you escape sociopaths

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Today Lovefraud introduces a new feature: Lovefraud Lessons, a series of videos to teach you how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. Lovefraud Blog videos Lessons #1, #2 and #3 are up now, and new videos will be posted every week. The primary venue, of course, is YouTube, on the Lovefraud Lessons channel. My goal is to reach as many people as possible, around the world, and teach them about sociopaths. If you know someone who should watch the videos, forward a link! …

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The sociopathic betrayal as an incident in your life

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Many Lovefraud readers experience the phenomenon of "losing yourself" in the sociopathic relationship. Before meeting the sociopath, you may have been, for the most part, happy, confident, successful and financially stable. You had a network of people who cared about you. Yes, there was some kind of vulnerability—perhaps you were a bit lonely—and the sociopath used the vulnerability to infiltrate your life. But, for the most part, you were okay. Then, either suddenly or slowly, your life disintegrated, and the problems you face are so immense, and so interconnected, and so overwhelming, that you don't know where to begin unraveling them. You don't have the energy to start. Rather than the …

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Vicious bullying leads to suicide in Japan

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This may be the most flagrant and egregious case of school bullying ever—and teachers laughed. Read: Kids and laughing teachers bullied suicide teen, on ABCNews.go.com. More bullying stories: Downtown Miami charter school sexual abuse and bullying led boy to attempt suicide twice: Lawsuit, on HuffingtonPost.com. Teacher accused of raping 12-year-old boy, on AOL.com. Links provided by Lovefraud readers. …

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Healing from a psychopathic experience is a continuing process

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Years ago I used to think that healing from an emotionally devastating experience, like tangling with a psychopath, was like recovering from a physical illness or injury. If you cut yourself, you put a band-aid on it and a few days later, the cut was "healed" and you didn't need to work on it any more. Or if you got the flu, once you were over it, it was all done; you didn't have to worry about it again. Or if you got the measles once, you could not get it ever again, because you were immune. Now I realize that healing from an encounter with a psychopath is not like a simple cut that heals, never requiring any more care or even notice. It is also not …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I feel stupid that I was blind

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Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Roger." I am writing this from Tokyo, Japan and would like to tell you about my experience with a person that "conned" me. Last year I experienced having a very short relationship with a lady that fits the description of being a sociopath: has no heart, no conscience and no remorse. In addition, now I know that she thought nothing of lying, cheating and stealing my money! I met this lady, who is a full-time lecturer at a university here in Tokyo (as am I) at a dinner party in June last year. It was arranged by a person whom I know (and trusted) and his wife, and they were trying play "Cupid." He, too, is a …

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Opening Old Wounds

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This, for me, has been a week of extreme highs and lows. And, as usual, has once again provided me with the perfect material for today's post. Among the highs was finding and securing the perfect living solution for my son when he starts university — that's a massive weight off both of our shoulders, and a cause for great celebration! The lows? Well, they've been triggered by a piece of particularly unexpected news — and an announcement that I would therefore like to make to all of you here on Lovefraud. I discovered just at the end of last week that the publication date for my book has been moved. Not by the couple of weeks I might have expected, since I was already aware that the libel i …

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Sociopaths and the real harm of lying

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The Stolen Valor Act, passed by Congress in 2005, made is illegal for anyone to falsely claim, verbally or in writing, to have been awarded a U.S. military decoration. Last week, the Supreme Court ruled that the law was unconstitutional because it violated the First Amendment's protection of free speech. The ruling by six Supreme Court justices proved that they simply do not understand how lying works in real life. Lies must lead directly to fraud The majority opinion in United States v. Alvarez, written by Justice Anthony M. Kennedy and joined by Chief Justice John G. Roberts and Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sonia Sotomayor, said that the Constitution does not allow speech to be …

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