How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Donna Andersen talks about relationship abuse in the Press of Atlantic City

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All year long, the Press of Atlantic City, my local newspaper, has been running a series of stories about domestic violence. A couple of months ago, I wrote to the reporters — not everyone who is abused suffers physical harm. In fact, Lovefraud's research shows that people who sought therapy because of an abusive relationships reported the following types of abuse: Emotional - 98.1% Psychological - 95.7% Financial - 70.1% Sexual - 49.3% Physical - 40.9% Other - 18.4% I was interviewed for the most recent article in the series, which appeared today. You can read it here: The kinds of domestic abuse that don't leave physical scars, on P …

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Patrick Giblin does time for scamming 132 women, gets out of jail and does it again

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Meet the original large-scale dating scammer, Patrick Giblin, 53, formerly of Ventnor, New Jersey, but most recently residing in a Philadelphia prison. Lovefraud first wrote about him in 2007, when he was sentenced for scamming women that he met on telephone dating services. Patrick Giblin trolls phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women, on Lovefraud.com. Giblin was paroled in 2013 and went right back to scamming women. Now he'll spend another five years in prison. Giblin pleaded guilty before U.S. District Judge Robert B. Kugler to one count of interstate travel and use of a facility in interstate and foreign commerce with the intent to launder money. Judge Kugler imposed the …

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Quelling is not coping — how my siblings and I dealt with our sociopathic mother

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By Eleanor Cowan In our family of ten children, our main objective was not to recognize the gross abnormalities of how we were treated, but to quell them. When a storm erupted, we’d leap into action. Unpredictable rages meant that we, Mother’s children, speedily grouped to control the situation and do as needed to quiet her distress and end the drama. Lightning-fast signals fired between us: “Storm clouds overhead,” I’d say, or “Hurricane Warning!” If Mother was revving up for a full-scale crackdown, “Earthquake! Earthquake!” would be whispered as we gathered our younger siblings to dash outside or hide in the basement. Usually, one of us would front the voluble outrage, the insults and s …

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3 Steps to begin dating again after the sociopath

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A reader posted the following comment on Lovefraud's Facebook page: "This website helps me too, but now, as I venture into the world of dating again, I find that my past is terrible hindrance. So difficult. Any advice gratefully received. Just want to be happy." Many times I've been asked, "After what your con artist ex-husband did to you, can you ever trust again?" Yes I can. I do. I am remarried, and I am happier now than I've ever been, in fact, I'm much happier than I ever was before the sociopath. So how do you climb out of the abyss of profound betrayal? How do you recover? How do you move forward, to the point where you can actually love again? Here are some lessons I've l …

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With no empathy and ethics, a sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is limitless

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50B: Oh My GOD!  Hoping against hope that Paul had only used her for phone sex, I checked our bank statements. What were the odds? On the exact same day as the escort charge on our credit card, Paul had made a withdrawal at an ATM in Chicago. From deep inside, my body released a primal, guttural scream. My knees buckled. I dropped to the floor in a heap of disbelief and tears. I he …

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To help people in abusive relationships escape, ‘The Five Step Exit,’ by Dr. Amber Ault, is now available at cost

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Editor's note: Lovefraud frequently posts media reports of domestic violence, but this one strikes close to home. Yesterday's story, "Ohio man charged with killing his ex-girlfriend and crashing his car with her body in the trunk," was not a random case. The victim, Linnea Satterfield, 56, of Elyria, Ohio, was the cousin of Dr. Amber Ault, a Lovefraud author and an instructor for Lovefraud Continuing Education. Here is more information about her: "Elyria woman met estranged boyfriend in high school, daughter says." Although nothing can truly heal the loss, in the following article, Dr. Ault explains how she hopes to create some good from the tragedy that befell her family. Trying to …

To help people in abusive relationships escape, ‘The Five Step Exit,’ by Dr. Amber Ault, is now available at costRead More

Ohio man charged with killing his ex-girlfriend and crashing his car with her body in the trunk

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Editor's note: The victim of this horrific crime was the cousin of Lovefraud contributor Dr. Amber Ault. In her cousin's memory, Dr. Ault hopes to help others by offering her book, "The Five Step Exit," for free.  Linnea Satterfield, 56, of Elyria, Ohio, was reported missing by her sister on July 17, 2017. She had recently left the home that she shared with her boyfriend, Roy E. Owens Jr., 56. Neighbors and family members say Linnea was trying to escape an abusive relationship. Two days later, Owens was arrested in Darke County, Ohio. He'd been driving in a ditch by the side of the road, wearing only his underwear and socks, and crashed into a pole. In the trunk of his car, police found L …

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I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "msescue." I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me. Our relationship moved quickly. We became pregnant after dating for only 8 weeks. But he was ecstatic about it and he was amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and our daughter's infancy. He treated me like a queen and it felt so good to finally feel like I had found someone who loved me for …

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A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomable

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD!  On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back into the house. At one of my early meetings with …

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Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)

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By Eleanor Cowan I was eleven years old.  “Do you know what you are? asked Mother, thrusting open my bedroom door to find me, as she knew she would, in a predictable spot reading a predictable book. “I’ll tell you who. You’re a big, fat, lazy nothing.” Waving her souvenir from Mexico, a horsewhip, she flicked my hair up at the back as I hit the stairs to begin new tasks. Even though I weighed less than a hundred pounds, even though my chores were done and I’d earned the right to read for awhile, I did not defend myself.  There was no talking back, no disrespect, no arguing. Only one rehearsed sentence was permitted. I said it: “Yes, mother? What can I do to help?” Standing up for myself would …

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