Archives for January 2018

By Eleanor Cowan January 1973 - Quebec At the college where I worked as a secretary, I smiled up at the chubby cherubs fixed along the ancient oak hallway, their alabaster gazes uplifted in hope. I knocked on the chaplain’s door. We’d arranged to meet during my lunch hour. Anxious to hear about the results of his appointment with my fiancé’s mother, I took the same wooden chair Edna sat in only hours before. That morning, my future mother-in-law begged Father Price, the priest booked to officiate our wedding, to dissuade me from marrying her son, Stan. Edna explained that while she liked me, I was emotionally unreliable. I’d been raped and molested. Sometimes I binge drank and my mot …

My husband’s entire family knew what he was, but nobody talked about itRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/MP1zE87zi48"] I promise to love and forgive, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… so the line goes. Was this a sickness many of us ask ourselves, sometimes with deep emotional wounds of guilt and shame, curious if we have broken those sacred marriage vows? Friends, if you are Innocent and I blame you for a crime that you have committed, you will take me to court and ask for Justice. If however, you are Guilty and I blame you for that crime, you will beg for Mercy. Innocent souls seek justice but those that are guilty ask for mercy. Is this however the case for those souls bestowed with anti-social personality disorders? Justice prevails f …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 7: FORGIVERead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/O3ZfeZSNLjw"] If there is one skill that all of us mastered since birth, it has to be Sales skills! Straight away we started screaming out loud and announcing to the world that we are Hungry. If you are like me, you probably didn’t give up screaming until you got served those magic liquid drops, and I personally had no intention of giving up on mother’s milk, until I found myself screaming the same scream at the ripe age of 2, but nobody seemed to hear. Eventually my vocal cords got exhausted and I was presented with some alternative nutrition that was supposed to be better for me, because I happened to be a big girl. When it came to toys though, par …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 6: REFLECTRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following email: I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead "normal" lives (whatever that means). I'm a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack of empathy (particularly …

How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?Read More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/tFy3E-9i6R4"] If you are like me, you probably don’t even question why the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. It seems like we expect it to happen and we don’t even get curious to question it. It simply is a natural process that happens to be consistent every single day. How about a clock? Have you wondered why do those hands constantly circle to the right? I have never really wondered what they are chasing on and on, but they are consistent too. I know sometimes you and I wish we could stop the time, or go back in time to edit a part of our life, to cut a section of that film, trash it and put the parts back together. But it’s not how it wor …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 5: BATHERMOSTATRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/u9bL2fgvmnA"] Let me ask you a simple question, how are you feeling today? Let me guess your simple answer... it’s probably a four-letter F word. Think about that answer again, FINE! We all say it, we have all memorised it really well, but is it really that simple? Are you really as honest with yourself as I have been with myself giving that answer no matter who asks the question? Besides, do I really have that genuine desire to know how you are feeling right now, honestly? Sometimes we have no choice but to stick to routines, norms and standards only because they seem to be acceptable more than anything. Try expressing your true feelings of hurt, a …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 4: FEELRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/VmJKeLbiTcw"] Do you think doctors should be allowed to tell patients “I’m afraid you have a terminal illness”? Why can’t they just be honest and tell them “I am afraid my ability to treat your illness has terminated”? Well then what happens if there is an illness that neither the doctors nor the patients are aware of, a potentially terminal illness that only affects victims of psychopathic abuse? Let’s just call them brain worms that nobody understands yet, brain parasites that are the residues of those relationships. You wonder how to treat them? Well, my research led me to believe that there is no definition or no cure for such a parasitic illness. Y …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 3: THINKRead More

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/FKxQESWP3vQ"] Marley and I made a delicious breakfast this morning and enjoyed it on our sunny balcony. We then had the arduous task of digesting the food. We sat there for hours directing all our energy and efforts to help that food pass through our system, we tried hard mixing it with digestive juices, causing large molecules of food to break down into smaller ones to help it nourish our body. Is this actually what we do in reality? Well, our body happens to be such an intelligent system, we are fortunate to have many of these processes taken care of for us. There are billions of autonomous functions governing our body and breathing happens to be one …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 2: BREAGRIEVERead More

[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0KkCDqmUf8" title="Self-Love%20and%20Healing%20Journey%20Day%201%20-%20Awakening"] Have you ever tried changing the weather? It’s a sunny morning here in California, but no matter how much I wish it could snow on this beautiful January day, there is probably no chance it will ever happen. Regardless, I am dreaming about it, praying for it, creating a plan, working hard, staying awake at night and wishing for that change. Finally, I cry out for help, asking people around me, reading books and magazines, wishing so hard for it to snow! Please, I want to see those snowflakes beautifully dancing and diving past my window. This is January, it’s …

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 1: AWAKENINGRead More