Archive for April, 2018

Why it’s so hard to get over loving a sociopath and how you can recover – Webinar May 9, 8 pm ET

You still want your ex-partner — even though you believe this person is bad for you. Why? Because sociopaths hijack the human bonding system. In this live online webinar, I’ll tell you how to break your obsession, recover emotionally and move on with your life.

Bring your questions!

Why it’s so hard to get over loving a sociopath and how you can recover
Presented by Donna Andersen, author of
Wednesday, May 9, 2018 • 8-9 pm ET • $25


  • Why all romantic love is an addiction
  • Why the addiction to sociopaths is worse
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My Bill Cosby experience: I definitely dodged a bullet

Entertainer Bill Cosby, 80, was convicted of sexually assaulting Andrea Constand last week. He drugged and assaulted her in 2004. Five other women testified that he did the same thing to them back in the ’80s — proving it was Cosby’s pattern of conduct.

The Philadelphia Inquirer has extensive coverage of the Cosby case. Click this link:

Bill Cosby trial

And here’s a story from USA Today:

A complete list of the 60 Bill Cosby accusers and their reactions to the guilty verdict

I am now convinced that my personal experience with Bill Cosby was a near-miss. I was young and naive. But luckily, my guardian angels were looking out for me. I wrote about my experience when … Read more

A warning letter to the next victim from the third ‘psycho’ wife

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Yesterday Lovefraud posted a story from a woman in Australia whom we’ll call “Shawna18.” Read it here: I left the sociopath once I had everything back he stole from me and humiliated me in the process. She also wrote a letter to the next victim.

“After 3 years of no contact I decided against all advice from the professionals to warn the new victim,” Shawna18 says. “It doesn’t matter if she believes me or not, what matters is that if I planted a seed of doubt, then I will have done my job, unlike all the other women who knew him and didn’t have the balls to warn me about him.”

Names are changed.

Cecilia,… Read more

Donna Andersen’s story on Lifetime TV – watch the full episode online

Back in 2012, I was featured on Lifetime TV in a show called, My Life Is a Lifetime Movie.  I have just learned that Lifetime is airing the show again. You can watch the full episode online.

Each show covers the stories of two women, and in this one, called Husbands Gone Wrong, mine is the second story. The first one, however, is also a story of a sociopath—they actually call the guy a “psychopath,” and I’m pleased to hear the TV show using the word. My story starts at 30:45, although it plays better if you watch the entire show. Here’s a link to the show:

Husbands Gone Wrong on My Life Is a Lifetime MovieRead more

I left the sociopath once I had everything back he stole from me and humiliated him in the process

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman in Australia whom we’ll call “Shawna18.” Tomorrow read Shawna’s letter that she wrote to the next victim.

Love bombed, soul mate within 1st day. Returned to his ex-wife, then returned to me when ex-wife didn’t give him what he needed.

Moved from Qld to Melb to be with him. Lived together four years, loneliest years of my life.

Married me while he was seeing another woman who he continued to see for the next 3 years until caught. Divorced him immediately.

Went back on his word to not contest what we had built together as long as I didn’t contest what he owned before me (his business). Realised … Read more

Our need to belong can lead to exploitation

By Eleanor Cowan

During our coffee break at our desks, my co-volunteer at a local community center, a fundamentalist religious whom I’ll call “Barb,” asked, in a warm manner, if this was the week I’d finally accept her invitation to attend her evening sacred text group. On four previous occasions, I’d declined her invite. This time Barb pressed me for a “viable reason.”

I quoted Timothy 2:12, “A woman must learn in quietness and full submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man; she is to remain quiet.

Barb, an anxious older woman, replied that every such word, phrase or sentiment can be interpreted with the help of a … Read more

Posted in: Eleanor Cowan

Rapist serving 100 years is named murder suspect, hangs himself

Fernando Asturizaga (Montgomery County Police)

Fernando Asturizaga, 51, was in jail in Maryland, convicted of sexually abusing and raping a a young girl from 1999 to 2001.

The girls mother, Alison Thresher,  saw that Asturizaga was grooming her daughter when her ex-husband permitted him to babysit. Alison Thresher objected to the “inappropriate relationship.” On May 23, 2000, she disappeared. She is presumed dead, although her body was never found.

Asturizaga was just named a “person of interest” in the cold case. The next day, he was found dead in the jail. His death was ruled “suicide by hanging.”

The rape victim, Hannah Thresher, is now an adult. She bravely told her story at a press conference.

“A few

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Posted in: Media sociopaths

Why the sociopath is crying and other answers to reader questions

crying manLovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Judith.” She asked questions that many readers may wonder about, so I’ll answer them in this post.

Sociopaths do not feel emotions, empathy or cry – Yes, he did play the ‘cry game’ when I would tell him the relationship was ‘over’ (which I did a few times) or want to walk out of his door.

Q1. He used to cry incessantly for his parents/grandparents who love him a lot, and feeling homesick (staying alone). Or cry that I was not with him in the same place and how much he misses me (online chat). He would mostly be drinking when he cries like a river. He

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Posted in: Donna Andersen

Battered Mothers Custody Conference, May 4-6, Albany New York

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at

Women who are fighting for custody of their children against an abusive ex will find information and support that the 13th Battered Mothers Custody Conference, May 4-6, in Albany New York.

Donna Andersen, author of, will be speaking on the topic of Your Disordered Ex: What you need to know so you can recover and move forward.

She is one of dozens of experts and advocates who will be speaking at the event. Other programs include:

  • Elsa Newman: Know the options and risks before you decide on family court litigation.
  • Evan Stark: Children and the spectrum of coercive control.
  • Chris O’Sullivan: Abuse, parental alienation and custody — empirical study
Read more
Posted in: Donna Andersen

Sometimes “no contact” is not an option

For more than two years, I’ve shared my story and relevant insights here once a week.

That’s coming to a close.  My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles my marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves  includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath. I hope the excertps I’ve shared from them have been helpful.

Husband Liar Sociopath

I didn’t know.

Before I married “Paul” (not his real name), I never imagined my life could be so derailed and that my soul could be turned to dust. I didn’t know sociopaths are common, often hiding in plain sight. I didn’t know that they feed off of the … Read more

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