How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Are these warning signs that I’m involved with a sociopath?

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Cassandra18." I've been a longtime reader of your website and wanted to thank you for what a valuable tool it is. I figured, I'd finally write in with a question of my own and I was hoping for some feedback from you. So, the thing is, I have a propensity to date very selfish, controlling people and two of my past relationships have been with verifiable sociopaths. Most recently, I have been in and out of a relationship with a man I used to work with. Something keeps telling me that something is off about him but I can't pinpoint it. Some of the warning signs that have happened while with …

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‘Liar’ by the Rollins Band — singing about a sociopath

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/FFyZ8QU-FgE"] Check out this music video of the hard rock song Liar by the Henry Rollins Band. It's clearly about a sociopath. What's interesting is that this song was recorded in 1994. Without Conscience, Robert Hare's book that introduced psychopaths to the world, came out in 1993. I don't know if Rollins read the book, but he is certainly describing disordered behavior. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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My Bill Cosby experience: I definitely dodged a bullet

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Entertainer Bill Cosby, 80, was convicted of sexually assaulting Andrea Constand last week. He drugged and assaulted her in 2004. Five other women testified that he did the same thing to them back in the '80s — proving it was Cosby's pattern of conduct. The Philadelphia Inquirer has extensive coverage of the Cosby case. Click this link: Bill Cosby trial And here's a story from USA Today: A complete list of the 60 Bill Cosby accusers and their reactions to the guilty verdict I am now convinced that my personal experience with Bill Cosby was a near-miss. I was young and naive. But luckily, my guardian angels were looking out for me. I wrote about my experience when the story f …

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A warning letter to the next victim from the third ‘psycho’ wife

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Editor's note: Yesterday Lovefraud posted a story from a woman in Australia whom we'll call "Shawna18." Read it here: I left the sociopath once I had everything back he stole from me and humiliated me in the process. She also wrote a letter to the next victim. "After 3 years of no contact I decided against all advice from the professionals to warn the new victim," Shawna18 says. "It doesn’t matter if she believes me or not, what matters is that if I planted a seed of doubt, then I will have done my job, unlike all the other women who knew him and didn’t have the balls to warn me about him." Names are changed. Cecilia, Let me introduce myself. I am the 3rd psycho who he had to get …

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I left the sociopath once I had everything back he stole from me and humiliated him in the process

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman in Australia whom we'll call "Shawna18." Tomorrow read Shawna's letter that she wrote to the next victim. Love bombed, soul mate within 1st day. Returned to his ex-wife, then returned to me when ex-wife didn't give him what he needed. Moved from Qld to Melb to be with him. Lived together four years, loneliest years of my life. Married me while he was seeing another woman who he continued to see for the next 3 years until caught. Divorced him immediately. Went back on his word to not contest what we had built together as long as I didn't contest what he owned before me (his business). Realised he was a nasty SOB …

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Our need to belong can lead to exploitation

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By Eleanor Cowan During our coffee break at our desks, my co-volunteer at a local community center, a fundamentalist religious whom I'll call "Barb," asked, in a warm manner, if this was the week I’d finally accept her invitation to attend her evening sacred text group. On four previous occasions, I’d declined her invite. This time Barb pressed me for a “viable reason.” I quoted Timothy 2:12, “A woman must learn in quietness and full submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man; she is to remain quiet.” Barb, an anxious older woman, replied that every such word, phrase or sentiment can be interpreted with the help of a knowledgeable theologian. Sh …

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Rapist serving 100 years is named murder suspect, hangs himself

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Fernando Asturizaga, 51, was in jail in Maryland, convicted of sexually abusing and raping a a young girl from 1999 to 2001. The girls mother, Alison Thresher,  saw that Asturizaga was grooming her daughter when her ex-husband permitted him to babysit. Alison Thresher objected to the "inappropriate relationship." On May 23, 2000, she disappeared. She is presumed dead, although her body was never found. Asturizaga was just named a "person of interest" in the cold case. The next day, he was found dead in the jail. His death was ruled "suicide by hanging." The rape victim, Hannah Thresher, is now an adult. She bravely told her story at a press conference. "A few months later [after …

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Sometimes “no contact” is not an option

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For more than two years, I’ve shared my story and relevant insights here once a week. That’s coming to a close.  My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles my marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves  includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath. I hope the excertps I've shared from them have been helpful. I didn't know. Before I married “Paul” (not his real name), I never imagined my life could be so derailed and that my soul could be turned to dust. I didn’t know sociopaths are common, often hiding in plain sight. I didn’t know that they feed off of the thrill of manipulation (which …

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What Betrayal Taught Me

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Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Waleuska Lazo Betrayal. This eight-letter word conjures up scary thoughts. Betrayal is one of the deepest pains we go through because it hits us at the core of our ability to love and trust After my marriage ended I was grateful for the two loves of my life, my beautiful daughters. When I went into my next relationship, again I did with an implicit trust. In my mind, I was forming an invisible contract, or what I called a soul agreement. It was my assumption that I, as well as the other person, came to the relationship with pure intentions to share a lif …

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Have you tried exposing a sociopath online? Did it work?

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A few weeks ago, the Philadelphia Inquirer published a story about a woman who says she went to sleep in the home of a male friend, and when she woke up realized she'd been raped. The woman didn't go to the police — she believed it would be useless. So the took matters into her own hands. She told her story on Facebook, naming the man who assaulted her. When she did, other women posted about similar experiences with the same man. For the perpetrator shamed via Facebook, there were consequences . He was a musician, and lost gigs. His landlord threw him out of his building. You can read the article here: Why Philly sexual assault victims look to Facebook for 'street justice,' on p …

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