Meet my new dog, Bo. My husband, Terry, and I brought him home from a shelter on Thursday. I've been meaning to get a dog ever since my previous dog, Beau, died of old age. That was more than 13 years ago. What took so long? I never felt like I had the time or the energy for another dog then suddenly, more than a decade slipped by. My first dog, Beau Beau was with me when I met my sociopathic ex-husband. During all the confusion and upheaval of my fake marriage to James Montgomery, my dog was the loyal companion that my husband should have been. After two and a half years with Montgomery, I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam. I left him, and Beau was my comfort. As …
‘Coercive control:’ Domestic violence without the physical abuse
In an article in the New York Times, writer Abby Ellin explains the concept of "coercive control" a pattern of behavior in which one partner in a romantic relationship dominates his or her partner. She writes: Coercive control describes an ongoing and multipronged strategy, with tactics that include manipulation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse, stalking, gaslighting and sometimes physical or sexual abuse. England and Wales have just passed a law making coercive or controlling behavior a form of domestic violence. The United States should do the same. With coercive control, the abuse is psychological, on NYTimes.com. …
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On Independence Day: 6 Strategies to break free of the sociopath
Happy 4th of July! In honor of Independence Day, here are six strategies for breaking free of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or some other exploiter. Choose the right strategy for your situation, and declare your independence! The No Nonsense Rejection Statement If you were dealing with normal people, you might want spare their feelings or let them down easy. But if you're seeing the Red Flags of Love Fraud and you suspect you're dealing with a sociopath, don't worry about hurting their feelings because they don't have any. If it's early in the involvement, and neither of you have much invested, you can use the rejection statement approach to get away. Here's what you …
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When Katherine Morris, 22, died suddenly, police ruled it suicide, but her mother continues to investigate
Four years ago, Katherine Morris, a young woman who was two weeks away from graduating from the University of Maryland, died suddenly. The police said the death was suicide. Her mother, Rev. Marguerite Morris isn't so sure and she is still working to uncover the truth. Katherine Morris was married to a soldier, Isaac Goodwin. But her mother contends that the marriage was a sham, that Goodwin married just to defraud the government of Basic Allowance for Housing pay, and he was never held accountable. In fact, Goodwin received a $100,000 insurance payout for Katherine's death. Lovefraud wrote about this tragic story previously. You can see it here: Army Specialist Isaac Goodwin …
Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life
Perhaps you now know that you're involved with a sociopath or other disordered individual. You've been Googling "sociopath" "psychopath" and "narcissist" like crazy, and found that a lot of what you read matches the behavior that you see. So now what? What do you do? That's what I will explain in Part 3 of the Lovefraud Recovery Series. The webinar takes place Thursday, June 30, at 8 pm Eastern time. Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life Here is some of what I will explain: What NOT to do when you learn of your partner's betrayal Do you fight or cut your losses and run? Tips and strategies for lawsuits, divorce and child custody battles What can help when your …
The high cost of rape – in pain and dollars
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader, "Jennifer in NYC." The New York Times OP-ED article, “What One Rape Cost Our Family” (Friday, June 24, 2016), by the California-based, freelance journalist, Laura Hilgers, chronicles the years of devastation her family faced after her daughter was raped by a fellow student while attending a college in Washington D.C. . A freshman at the time, her daughter, Willa, waited one year before she reported the crime. However, during this time she developed “...post-traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, depression, and an an addiction to alcohol. And while she chose not to file criminal charges—out of fear of being traum …
Orlando shooter Omar Mateen – he’s a sociopath, not a jihadist
Like all of America and civilized people around the world, I am heartbroken and sickened by the 49 people slaughtered and 53 injured in an Orlando nightclub early Sunday morning. The shooter was Omar Mateen, an American born in New York of Afghan parents. In a 911 call to police as the dead lay around him, Mateen swore allegiance to ISIS. But as authorities try to figure out how Mateen became radicalized, I'm not so sure that he shot up a gay nightclub for Allah. To me, it looks like Mateen was simply an evil sociopath, and pursuing Islamic jihad was a convenient excuse to get a gun. Ex-wife Sitora Yusufiy The first clue comes from how Mateen's ex-wife, Sitora Yusufiy, described him. …
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How to recover from a sociopathic partner
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ivfmgtYTLWo" title="How%20to%20recover%20from%20a%20sociopathic%20partner"] If you've discovered that your partner is an exploiter, and you don't know what to think and what to do well, I totally understand. I've been there. That's why I developed the Lovefraud Recovery Series. These three webinars, each one hour long, will help you comprehend what you are dealing with and figure out how to move forward: June 16 - Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed (If you missed it, watch the recording) More info June 23 - What Did They Want? Psychopaths, antisocials and other exploiters in romantic relationships More info June 30 - E …
Therapists: Here’s how to help clients leave a toxic relationship
Clients may know that they are unhappy, anxious and depressed because of their relationships, but they can't seem to leave. In fact, they become confused just by thinking about leaving. How can you best serve them? The Five Step Exit model will help. This program, developed by Dr. Amber Ault, is specifically designed to help you help clients in a structured fashion. You guide them to evaluate their circumstances, create an exit strategy, put together a support team, move forward with the plan, and then reclaim their lives. Dr. Ault will teach you exactly how to do it in an online webinar on Wednesday, June 15, 2016, from 2 -4 p.m. Eastern time. You will be able to ask questions of …
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I was dying inside, trying to keep her happy
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a man whom we'll call, "Timothy." I knew her from over a decade ago. I guess you can say we started as friends with benefits. Back in those days I should've remembered the times we fooled around, even while she was with someone when he went out of town. Over the years she married this person, and I went on into other relationships myself. In 2013 we had an encounter at a motel in her hometown, I happened to be working in. In 2014 the person I was in a relationship with left the state. The woman from a decade ago then contacted me and invited me to a casino/hotel she was staying in. I went and spent a couple of nights with …