Donna Andersen, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

The Boston bomber liked cats and dogs – does that mean he’s not a psychopath?

May 5, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 8 Comments

Dzhokhar "Jahar" Tsarnaev was found guilty of all 30 counts against him for the Boston Marathon bombing. The sentencing phase of the trial is now underway. Yesterday, the New York Times reported that Tsarnaev finally showed some emotion. Some of his relatives from Russia traveled to Boston to plead for his life. They were sobbing, and the convicted murderer also began to cry. According to an article by Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson, one of the factors in the jury's decision may be Tsarnaev's relationships with cats and dogs. Many psychopaths are cruel to animals. But if Tsarnaev was not cruel to his pets, does that mean he's not a psychopath? Well, I can say that my ex-husband, James M …

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Advice for Christians involved with sociopaths

May 2, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 15 Comments

If you're a Christian woman, is it your duty to work harder and harder to please an abusive husband? If you're a Christian, should you hold out hope that God will change a sociopath? If you're a Christian, is it your duty to lead a sociopath to Christ? No, no and no, says Shannon Thomas, LCSW-S, a Christian counselor from Southlake, Texas. She explains why in her blog article: When a Christian meets a sociopath, on SouthlakeCounseling.org. If you've struggled with these ideas, please read this article. It may give you a new perspective. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Con artist Bobbi Ann Finley now on her 15th husband

April 23, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

She's baaaack!!! Lovefraud first wrote about Bobbi Ann Finley almost five years ago, in September 2010. Finley had a habit of hanging around military bases, meeting servicemen, marrying them, and wiping out their bank accounts. When we first wrote about Finley, she'd married 14 men and had at least nine children with almost as many fathers. She was so infamous that she was profiled on ABC's 20/20. In 2011 Finely was convicted of fraud. She was sentenced to three years in an Alabama prison. Well, she's out, and up to her old tricks. She's married again, although Husband #15 is not military. But they're wanted for passing bad checks all over Oregon, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle …

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Know the truth: You are worthy

April 20, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 11 Comments

I recently received a very short email that asked a very important question. Here it is: Can you give me some advice on how to deal with people who proclaim that I'm worth nothing? By way of background, the email came from a young woman whom we'll call "Alma." Alma is a college student who first wrote to me back in January. A man who supervised her during her summer internship showed interest in her. Although the young woman initially did not respond, he pursued and pursued, until, thinking that he really loved her, Alma finally accepted him. Then, when she left the internship, the man dumped her. Alma was traumatized and could not concentrate on her studies. But people around her …

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‘Justified’ highlights the differences between killers and psychopaths

April 19, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 7 Comments

One of my favorite television shows ever, Justified, just came to an end. After six seasons, the series finale of this smart, sophisticated crime drama, set in redneck Kentucky, aired on Tuesday, April 14, 2015. That morning, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran an article by Tirdad Derakhshani previewing the grand finale. Derakhshani wrote that the main character, U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens (played by Timothy Olyphant), had "the best lawman swagger since John Wayne." I agree. Here's how Derakhshani described the marshall: "A latter-day cowboy who inhabits a strange, surreal version of Harlan County, Ky., Raylan is a gunslinger for the ages. One who kills. Again. And again. He's more of a …

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Research links stress and a bad relationship to high blood pressure

April 14, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Research conducted by the University of Michigan links stress, negative relationship quality and high blood pressure in older married couples. Findings: Husbands had higher blood pressure when their wives reported greater stress. Husbands who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their wives reported lower stress. Wives who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their husbands reported greater stress. The researchers speculated that these findings were due to the fact that husbands relied on their wives for support, whereas wives had a broader support network. According to the paper, "When both partners reported higher levels of negative relationship qu …

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How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?

April 13, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 50 Comments

Most of you who come to Lovefraud are here because you suspect, or have concluded, that your partner is a sociopath. You are shocked, traumatized, betrayed, disappointed, angry. You may know, on an intellectual level, that you need to end the relationship, but you may find it hard to take the steps to do it. Or, you have already ended the relationship and are working to maintain No Contact with the individual, even as he or she pleads, cries or threatens, trying to draw you back into the web. Whatever your circumstances, you feel terrible. Your emotions range from grief to sadness to disappointment to fear to anger to hatred. Internally, you're a churning hot mess, and you want an answer …

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Fraud prevention tips and checklists

April 12, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Marie from Elderimpact.org is appalled by all the fraudulent activity in society, and is on a mission to fight it. "I've been moved to action after a family member was taken advantage of by a scammer in Las Vegas, who banked on her love and dedication to her family and convinced her to wire him thousands of dollars before vanishing without a trace," Marie says to Lovefraud. "I can't help but think that if we had taken steps to alert her to such scams — how to recognize them, how to be effectively cautious with her information, etc. — this could have been prevented." Here's Marie's list of websites with important information for preventing fraud. Take a look and share the links with eve …

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Was Andreas Lubitz, who crashed Germanwings flight into mountain, depressed or a psychopath?

April 2, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 31 Comments

Editor's note: The following email was forwarded to Lovefraud by the reader "Jennifer in NYC." She originally sent the email to government officials in the United States and Germany. "Flying below the radar": The real culprit might (again!) be psychopathy (not depression) By Jennifer in NYC After it was determined that the co-pilot on Germanwings Flight 9525, Andreas Lubitz, had deliberately crashed the plane into the French Alps last week, the ongoing investigation has raised many questions about his mental health status and other related health problems. While reports have confirmed that he was treated for what appears to be depression, attributing this catastrophe to his struggles w …

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The Tapping Solution: Help for overcoming the devastation of a sociopath

April 1, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

How do you get over the devastation of a sociopath? Some Lovefraud readers have successfully used Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping. It's easy. It looks funny. It can be free, if you teach it to yourself. And it works. EFT tapping combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology. The technique can alleviate many conditions, from anxiety to physical pain to PTSD. To see how it works, watch this documentary. It's available free online for a limited time. The Tapping Solution documentary …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”