How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Con artist Bobbi Ann Finley now on her 15th husband

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She's baaaack!!! Lovefraud first wrote about Bobbi Ann Finley almost five years ago, in September 2010. Finley had a habit of hanging around military bases, meeting servicemen, marrying them, and wiping out their bank accounts. When we first wrote about Finley, she'd married 14 men and had at least nine children with almost as many fathers. She was so infamous that she was profiled on ABC's 20/20. In 2011 Finely was convicted of fraud. She was sentenced to three years in an Alabama prison. Well, she's out, and up to her old tricks. She's married again, although Husband #15 is not military. But they're wanted for passing bad checks all over Oregon, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle …

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Know the truth: You are worthy

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I recently received a very short email that asked a very important question. Here it is: Can you give me some advice on how to deal with people who proclaim that I'm worth nothing? By way of background, the email came from a young woman whom we'll call "Alma." Alma is a college student who first wrote to me back in January. A man who supervised her during her summer internship showed interest in her. Although the young woman initially did not respond, he pursued and pursued, until, thinking that he really loved her, Alma finally accepted him. Then, when she left the internship, the man dumped her. Alma was traumatized and could not concentrate on her studies. But people around her …

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‘Justified’ highlights the differences between killers and psychopaths

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One of my favorite television shows ever, Justified, just came to an end. After six seasons, the series finale of this smart, sophisticated crime drama, set in redneck Kentucky, aired on Tuesday, April 14, 2015. That morning, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran an article by Tirdad Derakhshani previewing the grand finale. Derakhshani wrote that the main character, U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens (played by Timothy Olyphant), had "the best lawman swagger since John Wayne." I agree. Here's how Derakhshani described the marshall: "A latter-day cowboy who inhabits a strange, surreal version of Harlan County, Ky., Raylan is a gunslinger for the ages. One who kills. Again. And again. He's more of a …

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Research links stress and a bad relationship to high blood pressure

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Research conducted by the University of Michigan links stress, negative relationship quality and high blood pressure in older married couples. Findings: Husbands had higher blood pressure when their wives reported greater stress. Husbands who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their wives reported lower stress. Wives who reported greater stress had lower blood pressure when their husbands reported greater stress. The researchers speculated that these findings were due to the fact that husbands relied on their wives for support, whereas wives had a broader support network. According to the paper, "When both partners reported higher levels of negative relationship qu …

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How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?

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Most of you who come to Lovefraud are here because you suspect, or have concluded, that your partner is a sociopath. You are shocked, traumatized, betrayed, disappointed, angry. You may know, on an intellectual level, that you need to end the relationship, but you may find it hard to take the steps to do it. Or, you have already ended the relationship and are working to maintain No Contact with the individual, even as he or she pleads, cries or threatens, trying to draw you back into the web. Whatever your circumstances, you feel terrible. Your emotions range from grief to sadness to disappointment to fear to anger to hatred. Internally, you're a churning hot mess, and you want an answer …

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Fraud prevention tips and checklists

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Marie from Elderimpact.org is appalled by all the fraudulent activity in society, and is on a mission to fight it. "I've been moved to action after a family member was taken advantage of by a scammer in Las Vegas, who banked on her love and dedication to her family and convinced her to wire him thousands of dollars before vanishing without a trace," Marie says to Lovefraud.  "I can't help but think that if we had taken steps to alert her to such scams — how to recognize them, how to be effectively cautious with her information, etc. — this could have been prevented." Here's Marie's list of websites with important information for preventing fraud. Take a look and share the links with eve …

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Was Andreas Lubitz, who crashed Germanwings flight into mountain, depressed or a psychopath?

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Editor's note: The following email was forwarded to Lovefraud by the reader "Jennifer in NYC." She originally sent the email to government officials in the United States and Germany. "Flying below the radar": The real culprit might (again!) be psychopathy (not depression) By Jennifer in NYC After it was determined that the co-pilot on Germanwings Flight 9525, Andreas Lubitz, had deliberately crashed the plane into the French Alps last week, the ongoing investigation has raised many questions about his mental health status and other related health problems.  While reports have confirmed that he was treated for what appears to be depression, attributing this catastrophe to his struggles w …

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The Tapping Solution: Help for overcoming the devastation of a sociopath

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How do you get over the devastation of a sociopath? Some Lovefraud readers have successfully used Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping. It's easy. It looks funny. It can be free, if you teach it to yourself. And it works. EFT tapping combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology. The technique can alleviate many conditions, from anxiety to physical pain to PTSD. To see how it works, watch this documentary. It's available free online for a limited time. The Tapping Solution documentary   …

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Study suggests neurofeedback to treat criminal psychopaths

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Experts generally believe that once psychopaths are adults, it's pretty much impossible to rehabilitate their disorder. However, Dr. Lilian Konicar of Eberhard-Karls University in Germany recently conducted a study in which they taught hardened criminals to control their brain activity using neurofeedback. According to Real Clear Science, Dr. Konicar is "conservatively optimistic." A new treatment for criminal psychopaths? on RealClearScience.com.   …

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The Borderline Male ‘Psycho’: 7 Red Flags

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[youtube_sc url=https://youtu.be/EhSxySoZV-w] By Jade Joddle The 7 red flags of a psycho as represented in the animation above are based on observations of family life as I was growing up in an unstable home. My mother had an extremely turbulent dating life, and attracted men with obsessive and stalkerish tendencies as a repeating pattern. For me as a child, home was most definitely not safe. The 'psycho' you see represented in the video is a borderline male who has deep emotional wounds in relation to abandonment. He lives in a permanent state of emotional conflict because more than anything he wants to be in a loving relationship, but yet the very act of getting close to someone …

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