How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Two men guilty of killing their young children out of anger towards the mothers

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Jeremy Brent Cramer, 38, of Lacey, Washington had a confrontation with his wife, Nataliya. She wanted him to clean up his act. Cramer took their almost 4-year-old son, Broderick, and left. He drove until he ran out of gas in Montana. Then he took the child, smashed his head with a rock, slashed his throat and dismembered the body. On April 4, 2014 Cramer was sentenced to life without parole. Washington man gets life in prison in son's death, on News.Yahoo.com. In New Jersey, Arthur Morgan III was angry with Amani Benton for breaking off their engagement. So he took their daughter, 2-year-old Tierra Morgan-Glover, strapped her into her car seat, weighed it down with a tire iron, and …

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What NOT to do when you realize you’re involved with a sociopath

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You've been living in insanity. Your partner seems to randomly lash out or give you the silent treatment, and then says you're to blame. Your finances are in shambles, and you're to blame for that too even if you're the only one working. You are positive that this person is cheating on you, but he or she insists you are paranoid and delusional. Or, in a variation on a theme, you are living with the distinct feeling that something is amiss, although you can't quite figure out what it is. You Google terms like "emotional abuse" or "signs of cheating" or "love and deceit." Eventually you end up on Lovefraud. Suddenly, everything makes sense. The articles describe what you're experiencing. …

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Introducing a new Lovefraud Contributor: Wendy S. Weber, who was “Raised by Psychopaths”

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Over the years, Lovefraud has heard from about a hundred people who realize that their mother, father, stepparent, or perhaps all of them, were psychopaths. These readers repeatedly asked for articles to address their experience. Fortunately for me, I did not share that experience. But unfortunately for them, I could not possibly do justice to what they endured in any article that I would write. Still, I recognize how important it is to give voice to the madness of growing up with self-centered, manipulative and abusive parents, and the struggle to recover from the ordeal. So I am pleased to announce that Wendy S. Weber, whose mother and father were both psychopaths, will now be …

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BOOK REVIEW: The Other Side of Charm

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In her new book, The Other Side of Charm Your Memoir, author H. G. Beverly gives voice to the emotional experience of being married to, or more appropriately, ambushed by, a psychopath. She captures the shock, outrage, disbelief and confusion better than any book I've ever read. The basic story is that Helen Beverly knew the man, whom she calls Wyatt, for almost her entire life. They both grew up in farm country, and she married him when she was 24. After the wedding he immediately embarked on a subtle campaign to subjugate her. The first step was to convince her to drop out of veterinary school. After all, they agreed that they wanted a family, and they agreed that she should stay home …

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1,200 phone calls, 45 criminal charges, 21-year sentence: Michael J. Bonert’s obsessive stalking of his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper

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By Donna Andersen Michael J. Bonert, 33, is from Delaware County, Iowa, but at the moment he is a resident of the North Central Correctional Facility in Rockwell City, Iowa. He was sentenced to 21 years behind bars for relentlessly stalking his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper, also of Delaware County, Iowa. Bonert was charged with 45 offenses, including 24 violations of Vicki's no-contact order. And those were just the incidents that resulted in criminal charges there were many more. Since being incarcerated on August 30, 2010, Bonert has played the part of the model prisoner. One prison psychologist said his behavior was exemplary. Another described him as courteous and …

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BOOK REVIEW: Letters to God

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Jane Pinney was married to a sociopath and adopted two children. Her husband attempted to poison her, and then accused her (of what, I'm not sure, but it was serious). The experience inspired Pinney to write a book called Letters to God. This book does not relay the chronology of events. Instead, it tells the story of Pinney's state of mind, in real time, as she tries to pull herself out of the abyss created by her disordered ex-husband. She starts the book by writing, I realized that in all my life, especially this past year, I have written thousands of letters to hundreds of people. Everyone under the sun, who I thought could help me in my quest to protect those I love and bring to …

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Guilt, shame and committing crime

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A recent study in the journal Psychological Science suggests that the degree to which inmates express guilt or shame may indicate how likely they are to re-offend. The researchers, June Tangney, Jeffrey Stuewig and Andres Martinez of George Mason University, associated guilt with experiences of tension, remorse and regret. They defined shame as painful feelings directed towards the self. But the researchers also said that when some people experience shame, they become defensive, deny responsibility and blame others. The study showed that inmates who felt shame, but were also defensive and blamed others, were more likely to go back to crime than those who felt guilt. Here's more …

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Contrary to claims, the PBS Sherlock Holmes is not a ‘high functioning sociopath’

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Along with the hit show Downton Abbey, PBS has recently run the series Sherlock. In this remake of the classic detective story, the gifted private investigator is working today, solving the most difficult and puzzling crimes. In a recent episode, Sherlock's sidekick, Dr. John Watson, a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, is getting married. He asks Sherlock Holmes to be his best man. The big day arrives, and Sherlock must use his extraordinary powers of deduction to prevent a murder right at the wedding reception. Here is more information about the show, including an episode preview: Sherlock: Season 3, Episode 2 The Sign of Three High-functioning sociopath? Early in the episode, …

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A sociopath asks, ‘Why should we change?’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received this email in response to a previous article written by a self-proclaimed sociopath. I've read the article titled A sociopath claims, ”˜We are the uniquely gifted,' and most of replies to it. First of all I'd like to make clear that the author of that letter is narcisisstic and quite delusional as he thinks himself some kind of superhuman. But apart from that, most of the things he said are true. Wouldn't you use the so called 'gift' of manipulation if it ensured you got what  you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable? After all, it is you who let us manipulate you. From replies you can clearly see that people are afraid and that's th …

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All sociopaths lie

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Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, led a double life. He worked at the Federal Aviation Administration Technical Center, which required a security clearance. He had a wife, the result of an arranged marriage in his native India. But for the past three weeks, Patel has been on trial, charged with sexually assaulting, or attempting to sexually assault, seven women in Atlantic City during the summer of 2012. Some of the women were working as prostitutes. During the trial, Patel admitted that he was addicted to prostitutes, but he denied assaulting the women. Here's some of the news coverage: Accused rapist tells jury he's paid 200 prostitutes for sex, not rape, on …

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