How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths Use Love To Blind Us To Their Nefarious Intent

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 6: Love Blinds—Really! If Paul had become annoyed with me for disappointing or inconveniencing him on our first, second, or even third date, I probably would have decided he was a selfish jerk and ended any meaningful involvement with him. So why did this small red flag go unheeded when it occurred on New Year's Eve, a year into our relationship? Because his annoyance and se …

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After enduring his cruelty and exploitation, finally finding the truth

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Laurette." In 2014, I met a man while visiting Calgary, Canada. He was loving, sweet, charming and said everything I wanted to hear. Everything but the truth. He was an alcoholic and determined to change his life. I admired him for that. He told me he had a child to a woman who he met at a party/bar and purposely got him drunk so she could get pregnant. It was a one-night stand. Six months after his daughter was born, she ran off without any notice and not telling him where she'd taken their daughter. I fell pregnant to him almost straight away, which was a miracle because I had fertility issues which I'd …

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Video: Learn to spot and escape psychopaths, sociopaths and other exploiters

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/_xR_O0Eoqiw" title="Learn%20to%20spot%20and%20escape%20psychopaths,%20sociopaths%20and%20other%20exploiters"] Approximately 12% of the people around us have serious personality disorders they're psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists. No, they aren't all serial killers, but in one way or another, they all victimize just about everyone who crosses their paths. Lovefraud Continuing Education offers online courses to help you spot, escape and recover from these exploiters and manipulators. The courses are designed for: • people who want to protect themselves, • people who have already been targeted by these manipulators, and • mental health …

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Subtle Sociopath “Tells”– Lacking Empathy Even When You’re Ill

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 5: Make Your Own Damn Sandwich! I did not extrapolate or act upon these seemingly small moments of dissonance, but I had a friend who did exactly that in one of her relationships. Her decision to trust her instincts and to generalize from one small selfish act to what married life with her fiancé would be like may have saved her from a disastrous marriage, perhaps to a soc …

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After the discard, I discovered everything I thought I knew about him was a lie

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a man whom we'll call "Evan." We were together for four years. He discarded me out of the blue one day for someone he had known 2 weeks. It wasn't until after the discard I discovered that everything I had thought I knew about him was a lie. I also found out he had been cheating on me, with God knows how many people, our entire relationship. At last count, I could confirm 10. I cannot confirm that any of the individuals he cheated on me with were female, but I heard stories and have my suspicions. I do know for certain he attempted a sexual encounter with our good friend and neighbor, who is a married female, but aside from that, I …

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How Dr. Bob Hare began studying psychopaths, and what he learned

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When Dr. Robert Hare started his job as a young prison psychologist, the first prisoner he met was a psychopath, although Hare didn't know it yet. In an interview published in Discover Magazine, Hare describes the encounter with a man he calls "Ray:" “He was extremely predatory, looked at me like I was food,” recalls Hare. “With his eyes, he nailed me to the wall.” Then Ray pulled out a crude, handmade knife and waved it at Hare. When Hare refrained from pressing the panic button, Ray said he planned to use his weapon on another inmate. Hare felt that Ray was testing him, so he chose not to report the prisoner or the contraband weapon to other staff. Hare wanted to solve the puzzle of the inm …

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Sociopath: “Moments of Weirdness” Or Unrecognized Red Flags?

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  By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 4: Love At First Sight Is Possible...Just Be Sure You're Seeing Clearly  Paul was romantic, caring, and attentive. He took me to plays, cooked dinner with me, and shared hikes and long walks. When our relationship evolved to physical intimacy, he was an amorous but gentle lover. I felt so lucky to have found him. By the time we started dating, Paul already had a co …

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What narcissists are really saying

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Book Review: The Narc Decoder Understanding the language of the narcissist, by Tina Swithin. If you're involved with a sociopath, narcissist or other disordered individual, there comes a time when they attack. The love bombing has stopped maybe ages ago. They are through with you, or sense that you are through with them. They either regard you with contempt, or are furious that you figured them out and had the audacity to leave. They start sending nasty text messages and emails. Here's one that Tina Swithin, author of The Narc Decoder, received from her ex-husband while they were in the midst of a custody battle over their two daughters: Tina - The most tragic part is what you are doing …

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Tell Lovefraud about your experience with sociopaths, PTSD and court

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[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzJm0I4CzuM"] Judge Lou Olivera, of the Cumberland County, North Carolina, veterans court program, sentenced Sgt. Joseph Serna, a Special Forces soldier who did four combat tours in Afghanistan, to 24 hours in jail for violating probation. Judge Olivera knew that Sgt. Serna suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). So when the judge saw Serna trembling as he turned himself in to serve the sentence, Judge Olivera decided to serve the time with him. Read: A compassionate judge sentences a veteran to 24 hours in jail, then joins him behind bars, on WashingtonPost.com. Yes, what Judge Olivera did to support Sgt. Serna is terrific. But …

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She was almost like a drug that I was addicted to

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Editors Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Sawyer" 1. Started talking in October, she met me through my sister's Facebook. She saw a pic of me that my sister posted with my niece. She winked in the comments and added me on Facebook on October 2nd. 2. Month of October, started talking a little on Facebook, we did not talk a lot. Setup a date for her and I to go eat at Zukies asked if she liked Japanese food she said yes. She did not show up, said that she got into a fight with her mom and could not come. I talked to her told her I could come pick her up, she said she was embarrassed about where she lived and did not want me to see it. So I just said …

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