Lovefraud Blog

The sociopath would always make me think I did something wrong

October 7, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Felicia." I was separated from husband and joined a personal training center. The trainer through months of me training with him convinced me to help him open a restaurant. I worked long hours for no pay. He would tell me, I'll make you a partner, just prove to me you can run the restaurant. This went on for a year. I divorced and after the divorce he started to tell me I was the best thing that happened to the restaureant, that I would start to make a lot of money. He then started to ask me to go places with him that pertained to the business. Then he would tell me I was beautiful and we eventually started …

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How your brain enables you to be deceived

October 6, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

When we finally catch on that everything a sociopath told us was a lie, most of us are furious with ourselves for not seeing the deception. We should cut ourselves some slack. A documentary that aired on the History channel explains why our brains misinterprets what we observe, and/or totally misses what is going on around us. "We believe first, and ask questions later," says science writer Jeff Wise in the show. Your Bleeped Up Brain: Deception, on History.com. Link provided by a Lovefraud reader. …

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How did you get caught by a sociopath? Find answers in the new Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook ebook

October 5, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 15 Comments

As I learned more and more about the depths of my one-time husband's deception and betrayal, one of the things I kept asking myself was this: How did I get myself into this mess? I was a college-educated journalist and business owner. I'd been dating for more than 20 years. Yet nothing this man promised me was real, and I couldn't see it until it was far too late. How did this happen? Since my personal experience, and hearing from thousands of Lovefraud readers, I've discovered that we all have vulnerabilities, and sociopaths are experts at finding them. Recognizing our own vulnerabilities will help us understand why we were targeted, and what we have to do to recover. More importantly, …

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Con man Patrick Giblin, released from prison after scamming 132 women, sentenced to 2 years for more violations

October 3, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

By Donna Andersen CAMDEN, N.J. Patrick Giblin, 51, of Atlantic City, New Jersey, was sentenced to two years in federal prison yesterday after violating the conditions of his supervised release. Despite promising to change his ways, Giblin had gone back to scamming women he met through dating websites and gambling in casinos. Giblin was originally sentenced on April 17, 2007, to 115 months in federal prison after pleading guilty to 10 counts of wire fraud. Between 2000 and 2005, he defrauded 132 women out of a total of $320,241. Read Lovefraud's original coverage of this outrageous case here: Patrick Giblin trolls phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women Giblin was also ordered …

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Tips for surviving a custody evaluation

October 2, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 25 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a mother whom we'll call "Natalya". She shares a child with a sociopath and her custody nightmare keeps getting worse. I have read in many articles and blogs that often psychologists would not recognize the psychopath and actually "allow" themselves to be manipulated. I thought it won't happen to me as my son's father is so ridiculous and I think it is so obvious to see something is wrong with him. Unfortunately my custody evaluation was a disaster. Even one of the mental tests he took shows the possibility of substance induced psychotic disorder and the psychologists herself stated he shows paranoia, delusion and cannot be …

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New York man allegedly plants spyware on wife’s iPhone before filing for divorce

October 1, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

A matrimonial judge in Brooklyn, New York, has ordered the husband in a divorce case to allow his computers and cell phones to be inspected for evidence that he intercepted his wife's confidential communications with her attorney. In the case of Crocker C. v. Anne R., Justice Jeffrey Sunshine ordered sheriffs to seize Crocker's electronics without notice. According to the New York Law Journal, a technician retained by the wife's attorneys had discovered three spyware programs in her phone: Pangu, which is used to circumvent the iPhone's anti-spyware protection (called "jailbreaking") mSpy, which enabled access to emails, text messages and call history, along with GPS …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Pushed, and then abandoned, by a controlling older brother

September 30, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who lives in Greece and Cyprus. We'll call her "Evangelina." My brother is 14 years older. He took charge of my life's choices (where to live as a child, what to study as young person applying for university), and I blindly followed, as I fully trusted him. He was my brother after all ”¦ He then turned nasty every single time I did not fulfill his expectations. He even lied and said often that a choice that was made by him, was only mine. Like studying archaeological conservation when I knew I am weak in sciences. But he insisted it's for my interest not to study what I want and I'm inclined toward (I'm good with arts so I wa …

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He controlled my moves and thoughts with diabolical and methodical precision

September 26, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// 13 Comments

Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ingrid." I met my Sociopath over 10 years ago and just like in all the books and blogs I have read as of late fell hard and fast for what I thought was honesty as he would look me right in the eyes and tell me everything any women wants to hear ”¦ you know how beautiful I was, how he wishes he would have met me in his twenties, how we are so much alike, blah, blah, blah. Unbeknown to me he was gathering all the information he would need later to control my every move and thought and that he did with DIABOLICAL AND METHODICAL precision and I being the honest and open hearted person I am I believed him. My Sociopath used and …

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Are you a senior living in New York? Did you meet a liar on the Internet?

September 25, 2015 // by Lovefraud Reader// Leave a Comment

By Joyce M. Short Catfish Profiles are personal write-ups containing fictitious information, and they are prolific in internet dating. And all too many participants here on Lovefraud have first-hand knowledge of this heart-wrenching problem. As many of you are aware, I've been working diligently to create laws that will prevent victims from being defrauded into relationships. I'm happy to report that on October 21, 2015, I'll be testifying before legislators in New York State about this problem. In order to effectively get the message across, I'd like to hear real-life cases of victims who fell prey to a Catfish Profiles in New York State. If you are age 55 or older and met a person …

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Men, women, leadership and personality disorders

September 25, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Why are there more men in business management then women? In the Harvard Business Review, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of business psychology at University College London, argues that it's because we can't distinguish competence from confidence. Who exhibits tremendous confidence? People with personality disorders narcissism, psychopathy, histrionic. And statistically, more men are disordered than women. Chomorro-Premuzic also points out that the characteristics that enable disordered people to get the job are also the characteristics that make them fail. Why do so many incompetent men become leaders? on HBR.org. Thanks to the Lovefraud reader Ann Stevenson for sending the link. …

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sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”