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Lovefraud Blog

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Donna Andersen’s video for Love Fraud book

July 21, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  33 Comments

“Most of us want to believe that there's good in everyone. Unfortunately, it isn't true. There are people in the world who are rotten to the core, and they're called sociopaths.” That's how I begin my video interview about my new book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I answer questions about what happened to me, and why I wrote the book. The six-minute video is posted on my blog for the book, and I invite you to watch it. Pre-order special ends July 31 Right now, we're offering a pre-order special for the book. If you place your order now, we'll send you an autographed and numbered first edition, shipped free to U.S. destinations, and 40 percent of …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Professor talks about psychopathy

July 20, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  10 Comments

In a television show produced by the University of Wisconsin, Professor Joseph Newman talks about psychopaths. He says that a basic problem with psychopaths is attention deficit—they may see cues or threats that they should stop a certain behavior, but they don't pay attention to them. Watch Office Hours: Psychopathy, on youtube.com. Read a scientific paper about Newman's research, Attention moderates the fearlessness of psychopathic offenders. Links provided by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Category: Scientific research

Love Fraud: A gift to all survivors of sociopaths

July 18, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  53 Comments

Editor's note: The following is a review of "Love Fraud - How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan," by Donna Andersen By Matt It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes just one woman to bring down a sociopath. And Donna Andersen became a one-woman wrecking crew when she set out to seek justice against her sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Ms. Andersen has written a riveting story of her simultaneous journeys seeking justice against Montgomery, and inner peace from the havoc he wreaked in her life. Ms. Andersen was forced — by both internal and external facts and circumstances — to pursue two very separate yet intertwined paths. The first path was through …

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Category: "Love Fraud" reviews, Book reviews

When good parenting isn’t enough

July 18, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  21 Comments

There was a time when mental health professionals were trained to see children as intrinsically good until influenced otherwise. If kids came out bad, the parents were to blame. That attitude is changing, writes Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry in Manhattan. In reality, parents have limited power to influence their children. Read Accepting that good parents may plant bad seeds, on NYTimes.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

When good parenting isn’t enoughRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, For parents of sociopaths, Sociopaths and family

Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional

July 16, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  35 Comments

All those impostors who lied about being in the military when they weren't, lied about earning medals of valor when they didn't, have just gotten a get-out-of-jail-free card. A federal judge in Denver has ruled that the Stolen Valor Act, which made it illegal to falsely claim any military decoration or medal, is "facially unconstitutional." The law violates the First Amendment right of free speech. Great. Now military impostors like my ex-husband, who told me that he won Australia's equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, so that I would believe he was a responsible and trustworthy man, are free to lie all they want. Lying about military service is protected speech. This is …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Helpful books for people being stalked

July 16, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  56 Comments

By Ox Drover Dr. Sherry L. Meinberg, an educator holds the “world's record” with the FBI  for being seriously stalked for the longest time—forty years!—by a combination of her first and second husbands, who brutally beat her and almost killed her. Even after 17 years in a mental institution for the dangerously insane, her first husband, who had written her letters every day of his incarceration, came after her again, and found her. Dr. Meinberg's book promotion says: Research now tells us that one in twelve women in the USA, and a growing number of men, will be stalked at some time in their lives. Over one and a half million adults are stalked annually, with the vast majority of victim …

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Category: Book reviews, Explaining the sociopath

Sociopath quotes the price of his soul

July 15, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  387 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Jenna.” At the end, she posts a document written by her sociopathic ex about the price of his soul, which provides a unnerving glimpse into how he truly thinks. Names have been changed. I have spent the last 18 years dealing with a classic sociopath, a man who lies beyond my wildest imagination. I have come to believe that he isn't just evil that is too easy an explanation. Evil people can't help themselves; they can be "born bad." No, this man chooses to be sadistic and mentally cruel. He can be "nice" when he wants to. He has a now four-year-old granddaughter who adores him and thinks her "Papa" hung the …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Why you still want your sociopathic partner

July 13, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  389 Comments

Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they're in love with them, and can't get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions. Now, there's proof. A recent study found that "the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings," according to Science Daily. Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Dear Abby and the narcissist

July 12, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  128 Comments

Last week I happened to read a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. A woman wrote to Abby that she had been married to a man for 15 years who was controlling and manipulative, along with being emotionally, economically and sexually abusive. The letter-writer termed her husband narcissistic and passive-aggressive, but in my view he may be a sociopath. The woman is filing for divorce. Her dilemma is that her husband projects a “good guy” image, and she fears that if she accuses him of abuse, no one will believe her. Abby's advice was to tell a few close girlfriends what really happened. “The truth will spread like wildfire,” Abby wrote. I wonder if Abby gave good advice for this situati …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Is God A Sociopath?

July 8, 2010 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW

I've been thinking lately about God, assuming He exists. Mainly, I've been thinking about the Judeo-Christian biblical conception of God, and asking myself, crazy as this sounds, if He exists, Is God a sociopath? I pose this question seriously, and apologize in advance for offending anyone by probing this idea. But consider: You are expected to worship Him. You are expected to acknowledge His perfection. You are expected to live by His standards. You are expected to fear His Judgement. You are expected to please, not disappoint Him. You are expected to do penance when you've strayed from His rules. You are expected to be in awe of, and fear, His omniscience. You …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

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