There was a time when mental health professionals were trained to see children as intrinsically good until influenced otherwise. If kids came out bad, the parents were to blame. That attitude is changing, writes Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry in Manhattan. In reality, parents have limited power to influence their children. Read Accepting that good parents may plant bad seeds, on NYTimes.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional
All those impostors who lied about being in the military when they weren't, lied about earning medals of valor when they didn't, have just gotten a get-out-of-jail-free card. A federal judge in Denver has ruled that the Stolen Valor Act, which made it illegal to falsely claim any military decoration or medal, is "facially unconstitutional." The law violates the First Amendment right of free speech. Great. Now military impostors like my ex-husband, who told me that he won Australia's equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, so that I would believe he was a responsible and trustworthy man, are free to lie all they want. Lying about military service is protected speech. This is …
Helpful books for people being stalked
By Ox Drover Dr. Sherry L. Meinberg, an educator holds the “world's record” with the FBI for being seriously stalked for the longest time—forty years!—by a combination of her first and second husbands, who brutally beat her and almost killed her. Even after 17 years in a mental institution for the dangerously insane, her first husband, who had written her letters every day of his incarceration, came after her again, and found her. Dr. Meinberg's book promotion says: Research now tells us that one in twelve women in the USA, and a growing number of men, will be stalked at some time in their lives. Over one and a half million adults are stalked annually, with the vast majority of victim …
Sociopath quotes the price of his soul
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Jenna.” At the end, she posts a document written by her sociopathic ex about the price of his soul, which provides a unnerving glimpse into how he truly thinks. Names have been changed. I have spent the last 18 years dealing with a classic sociopath, a man who lies beyond my wildest imagination. I have come to believe that he isn't just evil that is too easy an explanation. Evil people can't help themselves; they can be "born bad." No, this man chooses to be sadistic and mentally cruel. He can be "nice" when he wants to. He has a now four-year-old granddaughter who adores him and thinks her "Papa" hung the …
Why you still want your sociopathic partner
Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they're in love with them, and can't get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions. Now, there's proof. A recent study found that "the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings," according to Science Daily. Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
Dear Abby and the narcissist
Last week I happened to read a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. A woman wrote to Abby that she had been married to a man for 15 years who was controlling and manipulative, along with being emotionally, economically and sexually abusive. The letter-writer termed her husband narcissistic and passive-aggressive, but in my view he may be a sociopath. The woman is filing for divorce. Her dilemma is that her husband projects a “good guy” image, and she fears that if she accuses him of abuse, no one will believe her. Abby's advice was to tell a few close girlfriends what really happened. “The truth will spread like wildfire,” Abby wrote. I wonder if Abby gave good advice for this situati …
Is God A Sociopath?
I've been thinking lately about God, assuming He exists. Mainly, I've been thinking about the Judeo-Christian biblical conception of God, and asking myself, crazy as this sounds, if He exists, Is God a sociopath? I pose this question seriously, and apologize in advance for offending anyone by probing this idea. But consider: You are expected to worship Him. You are expected to acknowledge His perfection. You are expected to live by His standards. You are expected to fear His Judgement. You are expected to please, not disappoint Him. You are expected to do penance when you've strayed from His rules. You are expected to be in awe of, and fear, His omniscience. You …
Committed
Editor's note: Here is another satirical piece by the Front Porch Talker. For background, see “My life with a sociopath.” By The Front Porch Talker “And, they endured.” Wm. F. Faulkner I was committed. I remember several poignant moments on the night I was committed, against my will, to an in-patient, lock-down mental facility: the Dalai Lama was in town, and was giving a speech on the television I watched in the Emergency Room, hours BEFORE I had been committed. His message: peace and forgiveness. I have not yet forgiven, but I do feel peaceful. Also: My close friend and her sister had brought me to the Emergency Room of the hospital. They and all the medical professionals in …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Do I drop the restraining order again?
Editor's Note. Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call “Ursula.” Nine times, Ursula has filed a restraining order against her husband. Eight times she dropped it. She is due in court within a couple of weeks on the ninth order. He is pressing her to drop it, and she is wavering. It has been 8 long years, 9 restraining orders and a child and marriage together. From the first date he brought 2 roses, one because I was beautiful, the second in I was worth it at the end of the date, go figure. Then he let me into the passenger's side of the car and he came into through the drivier's side and said I failed because I didn't reach over and unlock his door before he got …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Do I drop the restraining order again?Read More
Quarterback Michael Vick possibly in trouble again
Almost a year ago, Lovefraud wrote about Michael Vick, the NFL quarterback who was convicted of running a dog fighting ring, released from jail and hired by the Philadelphia Eagles. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) objected to Vick's reinstatement in the NFL. They wrote to Roger Goodell, league commissioner, stating that the quarterback fit the profile for antisocial personality disorder. Last year's Lovefraud article asked the question, Can Michael Vick change his behavior? The answer, unsurprisingly, may be no. Unlike most sociopaths, Michael Vick is subject to a very public probation. Everyone knows he did time. Everyone knows that for him to keep his job, …