Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Jenna.” At the end, she posts a document written by her sociopathic ex about the price of his soul, which provides a unnerving glimpse into how he truly thinks. Names have been changed. I have spent the last 18 years dealing with a classic sociopath, a man who lies beyond my wildest imagination. I have come to believe that he isn't just evil that is too easy an explanation. Evil people can't help themselves; they can be "born bad." No, this man chooses to be sadistic and mentally cruel. He can be "nice" when he wants to. He has a now four-year-old granddaughter who adores him and thinks her "Papa" hung the …
Why you still want your sociopathic partner
Lovefraud frequently hears from readers who have been discarded by sociopaths, but still feel like they're in love with them, and can't get them out of their minds. We frequently tell these readers that sociopathic relationships are very much like addictions. Now, there's proof. A recent study found that "the pain anguish of rejection by a romantic partner may be the result of activity in parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings," according to Science Daily. Read Romantic rejection stimulates areas of brain involved with motivation, reward and addiction on sciencedaily.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
Dear Abby and the narcissist
Last week I happened to read a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. A woman wrote to Abby that she had been married to a man for 15 years who was controlling and manipulative, along with being emotionally, economically and sexually abusive. The letter-writer termed her husband narcissistic and passive-aggressive, but in my view he may be a sociopath. The woman is filing for divorce. Her dilemma is that her husband projects a “good guy” image, and she fears that if she accuses him of abuse, no one will believe her. Abby's advice was to tell a few close girlfriends what really happened. “The truth will spread like wildfire,” Abby wrote. I wonder if Abby gave good advice for this situati …
Is God A Sociopath?
I've been thinking lately about God, assuming He exists. Mainly, I've been thinking about the Judeo-Christian biblical conception of God, and asking myself, crazy as this sounds, if He exists, Is God a sociopath? I pose this question seriously, and apologize in advance for offending anyone by probing this idea. But consider: You are expected to worship Him. You are expected to acknowledge His perfection. You are expected to live by His standards. You are expected to fear His Judgement. You are expected to please, not disappoint Him. You are expected to do penance when you've strayed from His rules. You are expected to be in awe of, and fear, His omniscience. You …
Committed
Editor's note: Here is another satirical piece by the Front Porch Talker. For background, see “My life with a sociopath.” By The Front Porch Talker “And, they endured.” Wm. F. Faulkner I was committed. I remember several poignant moments on the night I was committed, against my will, to an in-patient, lock-down mental facility: the Dalai Lama was in town, and was giving a speech on the television I watched in the Emergency Room, hours BEFORE I had been committed. His message: peace and forgiveness. I have not yet forgiven, but I do feel peaceful. Also: My close friend and her sister had brought me to the Emergency Room of the hospital. They and all the medical professionals in …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Do I drop the restraining order again?
Editor's Note. Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call “Ursula.” Nine times, Ursula has filed a restraining order against her husband. Eight times she dropped it. She is due in court within a couple of weeks on the ninth order. He is pressing her to drop it, and she is wavering. It has been 8 long years, 9 restraining orders and a child and marriage together. From the first date he brought 2 roses, one because I was beautiful, the second in I was worth it at the end of the date, go figure. Then he let me into the passenger's side of the car and he came into through the drivier's side and said I failed because I didn't reach over and unlock his door before he got …
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Quarterback Michael Vick possibly in trouble again
Almost a year ago, Lovefraud wrote about Michael Vick, the NFL quarterback who was convicted of running a dog fighting ring, released from jail and hired by the Philadelphia Eagles. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) objected to Vick's reinstatement in the NFL. They wrote to Roger Goodell, league commissioner, stating that the quarterback fit the profile for antisocial personality disorder. Last year's Lovefraud article asked the question, Can Michael Vick change his behavior? The answer, unsurprisingly, may be no. Unlike most sociopaths, Michael Vick is subject to a very public probation. Everyone knows he did time. Everyone knows that for him to keep his job, …
James Arthur Ray: Guru or Charlatan?
By Ox Drover The ABC network has a new program called Mind Games that plays on Tuesday evening, and I caught their first show. The show was about James Arthur Ray, who is an advocate of the “Law of Attraction” and was one of the people interviewed on the movie The Secret. Ray has written several “best —selling” books including, Harmonic Wealth as New York Times bestseller. Ray also charges as much as $10,000 for seminars. Ray's biography from Wikipedia states that he was born in 1957, the son of a Christian minister who was so poor at times that the family lived in the Church offices. Ray's teachings are described as a “mix of spirituality, motivational speaking and quantum physics. …
Love Fraud: I read through the night – I couldn’t put it down
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Donna Andersen, a successful journalist from New Jersey, who is the author of the Lovefraud.com site and blog, has written a book about her life experiences, both before and after her marriage to James Montgomery, who she believes fits the profile of sociopath (psychopath). Donna's journalism degree from Syracuse University and her experience as editor of Atlantic City Magazine contribute to the readability of this book, called Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. The day I received my copy of the advance uncorrected proof of this book, I was entirely excited and rushed from the mail box to my favorite chair and perched t …
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Coming soon: Love Fraud, the book!
On and off for the past four years, I've been mentioning my upcoming book about my experience with a sociopath, James Montgomery, and my recovery from the ordeal. Well, the book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is at the printer, and will be available in about a month. In writing the book, I had five goals: Drawing attention to the problem of sociopaths. Showing how sociopaths weave their web of lies to trap people. Exposing the impotence of social institutions in dealing with these predators. Explaining why, from a spiritual perspective, we fall into these relationships. Offering hope that we can, even after these devastating encounters, r …