How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Once your life has been entwined with a sociopath, there may be no easy fix

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Every week, a chapter of  my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 57A:  No Fairy Tale Ending--Yet  I do not want to disappoint, but there is no fairy tale ending, not yet anyway. That is why my story and similar cautionary tales are so important and why it …

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My sociopathic husband and isolation in my marriage

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During my fourteen years of marriage, even though I could see and hear, I was blind and deaf to the messages coming in all the time, information that slowly, over time, eroded my hope that marriage and children would solve the unresolved grief in my life. One morning in July 1976, I was nursing Teddy while watching the Montreal Olympics on the TV our landlord had kindly loaned to us. In an instant, the pillows that supported my back against the attic wall felt like stone as I listened to a flash news report. Our newborn was asleep when I whispered to Stan, “A child has been sexually abused by her own grandfather in Guelph. What a horrible, unspeakable thing.” All conscious memory of my …

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A sociopath will use what you want and desire to inflict maximum pain

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Every week, a chapter of  my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 56C:  It's Not Over Until Paul Says It's Over It was beyond my control. Finally accepting that, and forgiving myself for the mess that, despite my best intentions, my life had become, …

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Here we go again — holiday drama time

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By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW Our ancestors in Northern latitudes exercised deep wisdom when they burrowed in during the dark of winter, reflecting on the turning of the wheel of the year through its previous cycle of renewal, harvest, and loss, gathering with loved ones to share warmth in myriad ways, and beginning to dream of spring. Many in the US feel a deep disconnection between our intuitive need for rest, reflection, and re-connection at the end of the year and survival demands, the cultural push of consumer capitalism to buy our way into "getting it right" with loved ones, and the tiny amounts of "time off" or "time away" we can create. Too often, even people here who have the luxury …

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11 Answers to questions about sociopaths

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I heard from Lovefraud reader who realizes that she's been in a relationship with a sociopath. She's in the phase of trying to wrap her brain around about what these people are, and sent me the following email: What happens to these people?  These sociopaths?  How do they end up in life?  Do they just go from victim to victim?  Have any of them ever realized the affliction of which they suffer?  Do they ever realize they are not capable of love?  If they are not capable of love, they will never be happy, right?  So...you could present “Red Flags of Love Fraud” to a sociopath and they would not see themselves in it, correct?  Do they ever see the error of their ways?  There is a rather …

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It’s never a fair fight with a sociopath, and that’s how they want it

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Every week, a chapter of  my book,"Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 56B:  It's Not Over Until Paul Says It's Over A month before Daniel’s half-sister was born, and after a sleepless night at his dad’s, Paul woke Daniel early and demanded he help Paul paint …

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My sociopathic husband denied – with outrage and tears – what turned out to be the terrible truth

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In our tiny upper flat, I took all the vitamins and folic acid tablets never available to my pregnant foremothers. I ate well, our table a rainbow of green, orange and yellow every day. I drank a concoction called Tiger’s Milk, thrilled to nourish the growth of my child within, a baby I loved with all my heart. One sunny day, while Stan, my then-husband, subbed for the Toronto School Board, I sat on the carpeted floor near our tiny attic window, a pillow to my back, and gazed at an astonishing Time Life photo of a baby inside a mother’s womb. I had no idea how it had been taken, but it inspired me to draw a woven basket so full of colorful spring flowers they toppled over the sides, a …

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Learning that her father was a lying, cheating sociopath

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When she discovered her father, who had always been her hero, had been conducting extramarital affairs for decades, Jasmin Rosemberg, wondered if she had inherited his traits. A journalist, she wrote about her fears on LennyLetter.com: "What if I'd inherited his inability to commit, his desire to win and dominate other people rather than connect, his incapacity to truly feel and love?" The pain of her discovery, she writes, quite possibly saved her. Following in a sociopathic parent's path, on LennyLetter.com.     …

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Women aged 40-70: Be on the lookout for Internet predators like Tom Guida

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More than two years ago, Lovefraud posted about Tom Guida, age 55, of New Jersey. This guy is unbelievable. He finds women online, tells them he is a Ph.D. psychologist (lie), Special Operations military (lie), and suffering from brain cancer (lie). He tells the women he loves them (lie) and then proposes marriage. He doesn't tell them he is already married (truth). In fact, he's a bigamist. Here's the Lovefraud story: Tom Guida, aka Tom Gatto – fake psychologist, fake Special Forces, fake brain cancer patient – gets away with bigamy I just heard from another woman who was targeted by Tom Guida last week. We'll call "Marjorie." She wrote: Tom Guida is still catfishing …

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10 things sociopaths want from you (besides money)

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A Lovefraud reader asked the following question: If the sociopath is not in it for money (he pays for everything with no access to my accounts) then what are other reasons to stay in a relationship if he doesn't live with me nor do we share anything financially? Many of the posts I have read involve financial fraud. If a sociopath has targeted you, it's because you have something that he or she wants. Often it's money, but not always. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want: 1. Sex Sociopaths crave stimulation, and sex is highly stimulating, so they pursue it. However, sociopaths are not slaves to their physical urges. They often use sex primarily as a tool of …

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