How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The realization that someone you thought you knew and loved is a sociopath is brutal

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 45C: Whack-A-Mole Returns The only topics Paul broached repeatedly were his company and our finances. Magically, as soon as we rang in the New Year, only six months after being assured of the financial success and viability of his company that would allow for this move and enable trips back East to see my aging parents multiple times a year—not to mention rebuilding our depleted ass …

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The Atlantic publishes: ‘When Your Child Is a Psychopath’

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When Samantha was six years old, she tried to choke her two-year-old sister as they sat in the back seat of their mother's car. After mom separated them, Samantha said she wanted to kill everyone in the family. The anecdote starts an article in the June issue of The Atlantic, When Your Child Is a Psychopath. The author, Barbara Bradley Hagerty, writes that Samantha was diagnosed with conduct disorder with callous and unemotional traits. She has the traits of a budding psychopath. Hagerty spoke to many of the leading experts on psychopathy and how it develops for this article. It's a good explanation of the state of the science. The article also describes a treatment program for ad …

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With a sociopath, when “no contact” isn’t possible, try the “grey rock method”

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 45B: Whack-A-Mole Returns In retrospect, I wish I had had the energy and foresight to move back East immediately, but I was too tired and too ashamed that I had made such a disruptive change in my life, maybe for nothing. Also, both kids seemed to be enjoying life in the mountains, and I did not want to uproot them again in such a short time span. That would hardly be fair to them. …

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How disordered parents set children up to be exploited by psychopaths

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Book Review: A History of a Pedophile's Wife — Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer, by Eleanor Cowan Review by Donna Andersen People born to disordered parents are likely to be vulnerable to psychopaths later in life. I've explained this to many, many people that I've spoken to in my personal consultations. Eleanor Cowan's book, A History of a Pedophile's Wife, explains exactly how it happens. Childhood without love Eleanor was born in 1948 outside of Montreal, Canada, the second child in what would become a large Catholic family. Her childhood was molded by the dictates of the Catholic Church, wholeheartedly accepted by her father, and the disinterest of a personality d …

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Sociopaths want everything to be about them–even the smallest, everyday choices

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 45A: Whack-A-Mole Returns In spite of my exhaustion from managing a cross-country move for our entire family in such a compressed time—with almost no help from Paul—within a week of our arrival in Utah, Paul wanted to go on a midsummer vacation with Anne-Marie and her family. I told him the timing was horrible for me, because I was spent. Also, the two weekends Paul wanted to be awa …

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The Truth Is Always in Plain Sight

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By Waleuska Lazo I thought I had found my Prince Charming. I thought I had found the one to share the rest of my life with. Four years later I have nothing to show, but a bleeding heart and a broken fairy tale. Looking back, I can see, the red flags were in plain sight. Yet, I chose to ignore them. I hope that my story can help you open your eyes, and see the warnings so you do not make the mistakes I made. I do not want my story to come across as bitter. I am not. I have made peace with the fact that I am responsible for my situation. My only goal is to share my truth. I realize my outreach can make me look naive and desperate. And you know what? I’m OK with that. My hope is that sharing …

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My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thing

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a man who posts under the name of "outvth3fog." I thought my past 12 years with my 10 year old son's mother was bad. Well, anyone's worst nightmare became reality in March of 2016. Rewind to summer 2015, to when I had that gut feeling that I was being wronged by her. I didn't understand things then the way I do now, but she would accuse me of having affairs without having anything to make her think that. It made me suspicious of her, especially when she would demand my phone after getting out of work, which I willing gave it to her. Here we were again the same process, that I thought was over. After so many lies and cheating I fell in love …

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Sociopaths use our hopes and dreams to manipulate and control

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 44C: A Second Honeymoon Finally, I had Paul back. More importantly, I was getting “me” back. Plus, I was going to be able to escape the suburbs and live in the mountains. I had scheduled a few interviews for teaching positions at schools in Connecticut. I cancelled them. My brother was skeptical and downright worried. He thought it was all happening too fast and that Paul had a hidd …

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She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissist

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Georgia." My story is three years in a same-gender relationship that began with off-the-charts chemistry. At 6 months the love bombing stopped and things slowly changed. In my personal experience there is a 'lesbian disadvantage' in the narc world because both these relationships often contain 4 of the most common traits; (a) lesbian bed-death at 3-6 months (same as the end of the love bombing), (b) self centered in nature, (c) moves the relationship to intimacy very quickly. (d) promiscuous behaviour & cheating. There were red flags that I saw and ignored which puzzled me because I had no …

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How to implement No Contact

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When people realize that that they are involved with a sociopath, the standard advice from Lovefraud is that they should, as quickly as possible, cut the predator out of their lives. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texts, and certainly no in-person meetings. It means No Contact. Of course, there are times when this is difficult, as when you work with the sociopath, or have children together. In these cases, you need to implement No Contact as best you can. But let's now talk about situations where it is possible to get rid of the person, such as in a dating relationship. What is the best way to establish No Contact? Clearly, firmly and permanently. The rules of No …

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