How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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With no empathy and ethics, a sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is limitless

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50B: Oh My GOD!  Hoping against hope that Paul had only used her for phone sex, I checked our bank statements. What were the odds? On the exact same day as the escort charge on our credit card, Paul had made a withdrawal at an ATM in Chicago. From deep inside, my body released a primal, guttural scream. My knees buckled. I dropped to the floor in a heap of disbelief and tears. I he …

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To help people in abusive relationships escape, ‘The Five Step Exit,’ by Dr. Amber Ault, is now available at cost

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Editor's note: Lovefraud frequently posts media reports of domestic violence, but this one strikes close to home. Yesterday's story, "Ohio man charged with killing his ex-girlfriend and crashing his car with her body in the trunk," was not a random case. The victim, Linnea Satterfield, 56, of Elyria, Ohio, was the cousin of Dr. Amber Ault, a Lovefraud author and an instructor for Lovefraud Continuing Education. Here is more information about her: "Elyria woman met estranged boyfriend in high school, daughter says." Although nothing can truly heal the loss, in the following article, Dr. Ault explains how she hopes to create some good from the tragedy that befell her family. Trying to …

To help people in abusive relationships escape, ‘The Five Step Exit,’ by Dr. Amber Ault, is now available at costRead More

Ohio man charged with killing his ex-girlfriend and crashing his car with her body in the trunk

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Editor's note: The victim of this horrific crime was the cousin of Lovefraud contributor Dr. Amber Ault. In her cousin's memory, Dr. Ault hopes to help others by offering her book, "The Five Step Exit," for free.  Linnea Satterfield, 56, of Elyria, Ohio, was reported missing by her sister on July 17, 2017. She had recently left the home that she shared with her boyfriend, Roy E. Owens Jr., 56. Neighbors and family members say Linnea was trying to escape an abusive relationship. Two days later, Owens was arrested in Darke County, Ohio. He'd been driving in a ditch by the side of the road, wearing only his underwear and socks, and crashed into a pole. In the trunk of his car, police found L …

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I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "msescue." I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me. Our relationship moved quickly. We became pregnant after dating for only 8 weeks. But he was ecstatic about it and he was amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and our daughter's infancy. He treated me like a queen and it felt so good to finally feel like I had found someone who loved me for …

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A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomable

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD!  On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back into the house. At one of my early meetings with …

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Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)

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By Eleanor Cowan I was eleven years old.  “Do you know what you are? asked Mother, thrusting open my bedroom door to find me, as she knew she would, in a predictable spot reading a predictable book. “I’ll tell you who. You’re a big, fat, lazy nothing.” Waving her souvenir from Mexico, a horsewhip, she flicked my hair up at the back as I hit the stairs to begin new tasks. Even though I weighed less than a hundred pounds, even though my chores were done and I’d earned the right to read for awhile, I did not defend myself.  There was no talking back, no disrespect, no arguing. Only one rehearsed sentence was permitted. I said it: “Yes, mother? What can I do to help?” Standing up for myself would …

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What you need to know to get a restraining order against a sociopath

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/FKa_uSBKa-g" title="Lawyer%20Megan%20Lyons%20explains%20why%20it%27s%20hard%20to%20get%20a%20restraining%20order%20against%20a%20sociopath"] Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar Obtaining Injunctions Against a Sociopath Presented by Megan Lyons, Esq. Tuesday, Aug. 1, 8-9 p.m. ET • $25 More info Sometimes sociopaths will not leave you alone. The involvement is over and you want to move on, but the sociopath is stalking you. Or, you can't totally escape the person — perhaps you have children together — and the sociopath uses every communication and exchange as an opportunity to harass you. An injunction or restraining order can help, but because socio …

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What sociopaths want from sex

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Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that's how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in. The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love. The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they're capable of feeling attraction. And they're capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they're looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person's welfare, which is a key component …

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One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviors

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I once heard from a man, whom we'll call "Jeff," who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, "Amanda," was a sociopath. It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her "best friend." Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences: Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet. Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn't have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway. Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn't be an escort. She si …

One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviorsRead More

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurt

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49B:  Clarity And Its Consequences With each interaction with Paul, each toxic email, each review of my scary financial situation, each new piece of evidence confirming who and what Paul really was and how much my soul and strength had been sapped in his presence over nearly two decades, depression loomed and increasingly would not be denied. It was as if the earth opened up and sw …

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurtRead More