How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gale." I was a widow for 5 years. After being married for 43 years, my husband died of cancer. I did not like being alone and therefore I was vulnerable, to say the least. I enjoyed being a wife & mother, and sharing, loving & caring for my family. I met my psycho on the internet, thru a dating web site. Had I trusted my intuition, I would have run. There were many red flags. I did not ignore, but was charmingly convinced I was not being fair, but judgmental. I considered myself to be the 3rd wife, but after several years of marriage, one of his daughters convinced me I was more like number …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I will not let another person control my heart and my brain

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Editor's note: The following email was received from a reader whom we'll call "Clara." I am so glad that I decided to look into narcissism and psychological problems. I have found my answers and feel better already. I now have an answer to what happened to my whirlwind romance. Thankfully I was a lot luckier than the other women that have posted. My guy was perfect for 4 months. Then it went into hyperdrive and he told me he was in love with me. I was feeling it also. He emotionally got me into that position for the 4 months. He was beautiful and loving and thoughtful. I couldn't believe my luck! Exactly 9 days after he told me he was in love with me, our relationship was over. He said …

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I couldn’t believe he was so harsh and cruel

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Trina." Names have been changed in this tale. I dated "Samuel" for three and one half years. I knew he had a criminal past and supported him changing and turning his life around. We were penpals and he wrote me beautiful letters and poems declaring his love. He was amazing at first and so perfect for me, we clicked on every level and I had never met someone more right for me so I moved to the United States. At first he was still very loving although a little dull if I'm honest. After a while we began arguing. One argument was on New Year's eve. A woman from his work called him before midnight. I go …

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He admitted to being a sociopath

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Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "DamnItHappenedToMe." I went on an online chat and began a relationship through Skype with a man in the United States who was, as I was, a dual citizen -- Canadian/American. This was in October, 2012. He informed me he was divorced for three years. We met in the United States for a day and then I found out on Facebook that he was married. He admitted it and I said I wanted nothing to do with him. He pursued me and told me he was getting a divorce. After he said he was divorced (filed) in March, 2013, he flew me to spend ten days with him in the United States where I met his family. I flew …

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I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 2 of 2)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Carmella." Read Part 1. I had been asking questions to the family friend about why the guys were either quitting or getting fired within a few weeks. My guy kept blaming them; they started out great but in his eyes they turned out to be lazy. The next day is when I spoke to family friends that had worked for him only to be fired or had quit. He was bullying them and had told them what they did together stayed between them, don't tell me. They confirmed my suspicions, he had a fling with my old neighbor, was talking to other women on the phone, meeting other woman for lunch and kissing them goodbye etc. …

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I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 1 of 2)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Carmella." I met him on the job. He has an extensive background, a felon. He was a very hard worker, very charming, charismatic, exuded an excellent work ethic, polite, respectful, and impresses most with all of these qualities but mostly with work ethic. That is what impressed me, plus his intelligence. I expressed that I hoped he got his life together once he was released because he was too intelligent and hardworking to have allowed himself to get into this trouble. Once I made that statement, it was on. He was very aggressive in being polite, a gentleman, always there to help me and talk to me. He …

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Telepathic experience with a sociopath: ‘It was an absolute terror’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Clint." You have heard the story hundreds of times. I was a naive do-gooder with a new friend that i just could not figure out. Last night, he explained himself to me in way I would not have believed possible. A little background on me: I am an engineer/scientist in my education and way of thinking. I do not believe anything that cannot be proven in a controlled experiment or supported by scientific data. I do not believe in magic, ghosts, ESP, UFO's, voodoo, witchcraft, good & evil, etc. etc. That is until last night. I realize now that i should not dismiss things not fully understood. I met a 23 …

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She told me to give her money or stay out of our child’s life

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Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Sebastian." Dated a female sociopath over 3-4 years and have a child with her. The child is now over 2 years old. She was held for 72-hour observation on average once every 3 months. Constant shoplifter, abused Rx medications, and would cheat on occasion. The stealing and drug-use was accompanied by remarks, for example, "I stole cause you don't give me enough money," or "prescription medications are fine because doctors prescribe them," and "I did it cause you didn't pay enough attention to me." I was working 40+ hours a week, going to school full time, and still taking her to 4 therapy sessions …

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Why am I not trusting the love of my life? Part 4 of 4

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Editor's note: Part 2 of a series submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Laura-Marie." Read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. Names have been changed.  My birthday, one year and one day after he moved in. I asked if we could go out to celebrate, but he said we had no money. No money? That had never stopped us for the entire year he had been there. I told him we did not need money to go out, we went out all the time with no money. The day of my birthday, he asked if we were going out that night, but I said it didn't sound like he wanted to, as when I tried to make plans earlier, he had no interest. He told me he loved me and wouldn't miss it for the world. I begged him to make his …

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Why am I not trusting the love of my life? Part 3 of 4

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Editor's note: Part 2 of a series submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Laura-Marie." Read Part 1 and Part 2. Names have been changed.  He said he his parents were coming to California with another couple who were long-time friends. His brother was going too. He would be gone for three days. He took the Jaguar, but said he was parking it at the family's home, as I didn't it want it driven up the mountain. I asked how his trip was when he got home, but he didn't say much. I took the car out and found blush in the car. Cover Girl. It wasn't mine. I was shaking. He lied. How could he??? I got out of the car, went in the house and asked if he had another woman in my car. …

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